Distraction Loop a.k.a. The Real Reason Why You Keep Yourself Busy [ep. #223]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you trapped in a distraction loop without even realising it? If you're aimlessly scrolling on social media for hours when you should be working on tasks that actually move your business forward, welcome, you've entered the distraction loop.
You're probably telling yourself that you just need to be more disciplined. I'm sorry to tell you this (actually I'm not, I'm here to call you out) you don't have a discipline issue. You're trapped in a distraction loop, and I'm going to teach you how to break free.
First, I'll tell you what a distraction loop is, why we tend to fall into it, what subconscious beliefs keep you in the distraction loop, and then I'll share with you my favourite subconscious tools that you can use every time you find yourself slipping into the same cycle.
So grab your tea, get comfortable, and get ready to say goodbye to the distraction loop!
Topics covered on Distraction Loop:
What is a distraction loop, and why do you keep falling into it?
How does your subconscious protect you with distractions?
What is the busyness equals worthiness trap, and how can you escape it?
How can you create safety in stillness and trust yourself more?
What is the 90-second reset rule, and how can it help regain focus?
Journal Prompts on Distraction Loop:
What am I avoiding right now?
What am I afraid will happen if I actually do the thing I’m meant to be doing?
What emotion am I trying to escape?
How would my highest self spend her time?
What is actually moving the needle in my business?
If I fully trusted that my success was inevitable, how would I show up today?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
“Your success is not dependent on how much you do, but on who you are being." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Welcome back to the podcast today. I am calling you out, of course, but I'm also calling you forward because I see you, I bloody see you scrolling aimlessly on your phone when you should be working. I see you telling yourself you don't have time, yet somehow you've managed to watch an hour of TikToks without realizing it.
I see you [00:01:00] sitting at your desk, pushing through, even though your body is literally screaming for a break, working late into the evening, not because you're actually being productive, but because being busy makes you feel successful. And you tell yourself, I just need to be more disciplined. I just need to get my shit together, uh, uh, uh.
This is not a discipline issue. This is a subconscious protection pattern and today we are finally breaking it down so you can finally break free of it. Let's talk first of all why you keep falling into the cycle of distraction, overworking and avoidance. The distraction loop. It is not laziness. It is safety.
So the real reason you keep grabbing your phone, you keep [00:02:00] mindlessly scrolling, maybe rechecking emails, doing the busy work instead of the needle moving tasks that actually move your business forwards is because your subconscious is trying to keep you safe. How many times do I say that on the podcast?
Now your brain loves patterns. It is physically wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Now, every time you pick up your phone, when you're feeling stuck, when you're feeling overwhelmed, when you're feeling uncertain, your brain gets a little hit of dopamine. A little, a little, little hit of dopamine, boom, instant relief, instant escape.
Because actually, Sitting in that discomfort, actually pushing yourself through the hard thing, your brain sees that as a threat. So, instead of writing that post, instead of recording that video, [00:03:00] instead of launching that offer, You scroll, you research, you tell yourself you need more time, more clarity, more planning, but what you're really doing is avoiding stepping into that next level.
Now the busyness equals worthiness trap. Let's talk about this one because I know you have probably done it. You've sat down at your desk. You're pushing through exhaustion. You're ignoring your body. You're telling yourself just one more thing and then I'll take a break. You've probably actually needed a wee for maybe three hours, but you haven't even allowed yourself to go to the loo.
You work late even though you're shattered. You're ticking off the little to do You know, the little to do's on your, on your list because that makes you feel productive. You're actually writing down some of the ones that you haven't got on your list so you can literally tick them off. But deep down, you know, you're avoiding the big moves that would actually grow your business.
Why? [00:04:00] Because your subconscious is linked being busy. with being valuable. Somewhere along the way you picked up the belief that if I'm not constantly doing, I'm falling behind or worse if I slow down, I will fail. So you overwork, not because it's moving the needle, but because your nervous system only feels safe when you're doing something and by God this was a big one of mine, a huge one to be.
To be truthful. Now, it gets even deeper here because underneath the distractions, underneath the busyness, the, what I say, I just need to be more disciplined excuse, what is really there? A lot of the time, it's a fear of stillness. Because when you slow down, when you actually take a [00:05:00] step back, when you sit in silence without the dopamine distractions, you have to face your own thoughts.
And if you've been operating from a place of, I'm not doing enough, or I should be further along, that silence feels uncomfortable as hell. So instead of sitting with it, you keep moving, you keep distracting, you keep convincing yourself that if you just do more, you'll finally feel how you want to feel.
But the truth Is the feeling is never, ever, ever, ever going to come from doing more. It's going to come from learning to trust your self. So what are the breakthrough shifts that we need for you to stop distracting yourself, stop going into this avoidance [00:06:00] and actually start to move through it in a way that serves you better.
Number one, I want you to recognize the moment that you are about to distract yourself. So, the very first thing we need here is awareness, because if you don't catch the pattern, you cannot change it. So, the next time you feel the urge to grab your phone, to check your emails, To dive into a random task that isn't actually important, I want you to pause.
What am I avoiding right now? What am I afraid will happen if I actually do the thing I'm meant to be doing? What emotion am I trying to escape? Once we name it, once we see it, you become the observer. [00:07:00] You actually take away its power. You can observe it, you can become curious to it. So the moment that you go to distract yourself, the moment that you go to do the busy work, the moment that you try and push through, what am I avoiding?
right now. What am I avoiding right now? What am I afraid will happen if I actually do the thing I'm meant to be doing? What emotion am I trying to escape? Number two, I want you to, you ready for this? Create safety in stillness. If slowing down makes you anxious, that's a sign your nervous system doesn't feel safe without external doing.
So let's rewire this. [00:08:00] Next time you notice yourself pushing through exhaustion or going that fast that your jacket gets caught on the door handle and you get that pissed off that your jacket has been caught on the door handle. You know the time. I want you to close your eyes and I want you to take a deep breath.
I want you to place your hand on your heart and I want you to remind yourself I am safe to slow down. Or I'm learning to feel safe to slow down. I'm learning. to feel safe, to rest. My success is not dependent on how much I do, but on who I am being. Your brain needs repetition to form new beliefs. So every time you override the urge to keep pushing, to keep scrolling, [00:09:00] to keep avoiding, you rewire your subconscious to trust instead of fear.
Number three is the 90 second reset rule. If you are caught in a distraction loop, whether it's scrolling, whether it's overworking, whether it's just goddamn procrastinating, I want you to try this simple 90 second reset rule. So I want you to set a timer for 90 seconds, and I want you to sit with the discomfort of not picking up your phone, of not jumping to the next task, not doing anything.
In fact, I want you to let your nervous system ride the urge, breathe through it. Why? Because urges pass. Your subconscious is just trying to get a quick dopamine hit. But when you hold off for 90 seconds, you override the pattern, and suddenly you have your [00:10:00] focus back. I have been doing this at night. Ivy is still waking up around two ish at the moment to have A feed and at that two o'clock prior to me going, right, I need to sort my shit out.
Something has to change. I would feed her and go on my phone because staring at the wall at 2:00 AM there's not much in it, if I'm honest. The wall never changes. But what was happening is I would scroll on my phone and then. She would go back to sleep and then I would be awake for a lot of hours because I had activated my brain.
So the last, I would say month, I was like, right, I'm no longer doing that. My phone is still on the side. It's still there. It's still next to me. But I had to sit in the discomfort of the urge to get that dopamine hit. And look, it's uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable, especially at the start. Now, I've done it that many times that I don't even [00:11:00] think about picking up my phone.
In fact, I'm that quick to get back to sleep, I can't believe it myself. And you can see by just committing, riding it out, and do this 90 seconds to start with, because you've actually got something to focus on, but you will see that you suddenly have your focus back. And lastly, for your shifts today, that was three, number three, number one, just to go back was recognize the moment you're about to distract yourself.
And I want you to ask those three questions. Number two, create safety in the stillness. I'm learning. I'm learning that it's safe to slow down. I'm learning that it's safe to rest. My success is not dependent on how much I do, but on who I am being. And then number three, you've got the 90 second reset rule.
And then the last one, shifting from that busy to intentional. This was the Biggest one for me. I work very intentionally in [00:12:00] my business. I know I speak about it a lot, but I was the busy, busy, busy, busy, busy badge of honor. Like I was that girl and the version of you who already has the success you want.
She's not rushing. She's not forcing, she's not filling her days with actual distractions. So how would. That version of me spend her time. What is she actually moving the needle in her business? What is she doing? If I fully trusted that my success was inevitable, how would I show up today? Because when you start showing up from that energy, that is when the shifts happen.
So for the next seven days. Before reaching for your phone, before pushing through exhaustion, before filling your days with distraction, which I know you know you're doing, pause. Ask yourself, what am I really looking for right [00:13:00] now? Because when you stop outsourcing your focus to distraction, when you stop tying your worth to busyness, when you create safety in stillness, that's when you actually become the business owner you're meant to be.
And I know you have got it. So I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. A bit of a shorter one, but there's a lot of tangible things that you can get in place to move forwards. I'll make sure those four steps are in the show notes so you can go, you didn't have to write them down, unless you have already.
Well done, grab your pen and paper. Um, but I'll pop them in the show notes so they're there. Go deeper into rewiring these patterns and make sure that you Stop, acknowledge, and shift because I want you to build your dream business from a place of alignment and not from a place of distraction, busyness, and thinking that you have to work so goddamn hard.
I love ya, and I'll [00:14:00] see you in the next episode. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So, whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast, And of course, that juicy five star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you.
Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Hayden underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHayden. com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!