Subconscious Basics: How to Emotionally Regulate in Business & Make Your Subconscious Feel Safe [ep. #208]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are your emotions secretly running your business? In today's episode, we are going to dive deep into the world of emotional regulation in business and why it's the key to your success.
I'll talk about how your subconscious mind is like the silent CEO, pulling the strings behind your thoughts and actions. You'll find out why emotional regulation is absolutely essential if you're serious about scaling your business. I'll share some of my favourite subconscious tools to keep your prefrontal cortex—the real CEO of your brain—engaged, so you can respond to challenges as your higher self instead of reacting impulsively. Plus, we'll explore how simple practices like slowing down and breathwork can bring a sense of calm and clarity to your busy life.
By the end of this episode, you'll be ready to take back control of your business, align with your higher self, and lead with confidence. So grab your notebook, your favourite drink, and let's dive into this together!
Topics covered on Emotional Regulation in Business:
What does it look like when you are emotionally dysregulated, and what impact does it have on your business?
What role does the subconscious mind play in your emotional responses?
How can you master emotional regulation in your business?
Subconscious tools that will help you engage your prefrontal cortex so you can make better decisions in your business.
Understand and manage your natural fight-or-flight response to stress in business situations.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"If you are not in control of your emotions, your emotions will control you." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again, your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
[00:00:26] So let's dive in to the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve.
[00:00:31] Hello, gorgeous lady, and welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. How are you? I am back in with the Subconscious Basics today. And today we are talking about a topic that lies To be honest, at the very heart of building a successful business, and that is emotional regulation and the subconscious mind together.
[00:00:56] Emotional regulation is so important for you to understand yourself, how to do it, what's going on, and actually to have a very successful business. You need to know how to emotionally regulate, because business can be hard. Business can feel hard. Business can push you consistently out of your comfort zone.
[00:01:20] And if you are not regulating how that's making you feel and regulating the emotions around it, you are going to be stuck in fight or flight for a very long time and fight or flight. It's not very nice to be in. It's not very nice to live in and therefore creates this pattern to the subconscious mind that your business isn't safe.
[00:01:44] So in this episode, we are going to go through how to understand your emotions on a deeper level. But more importantly, how you can take back control. So you really operate as the CEO of your business and of your life. So if you've ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions, or you found yourself maybe reacting to situations, that probably don't serve you, this episode will be for you because if you are not in control of your emotions, your emotions will control you.
[00:02:23] That is the end of it. And I'm going to go into the neuroscience behind that today. And in business. That can mean sabotaging launches. It can mean not doing the needle moving activities. It can mean letting fear and procrastination continuously hold you back. So, Grab a notebook, get your cup of coffee or your tea, or if you're on a walk or in the shower, wherever you are, let's dive into your emotions and give you a couple of tools on how you can regulate them.
[00:02:54] Because I want you to align with your biggest business goals and we need the emotional regulation behind it. And the reason why I wanted to put this in the subconscious basics is because it is basic information that you need. To have a successful business, and I've got quite a few tricks up my sleeve that I teach my clients when we are looking at their emotional regulation as well.
[00:03:19] So to start off with today's episode, I wanted to have a look at really why emotional regulation actually matters in business. And I truly believe it is a non negotiable if you are serious about scaling your business. Now, emotional regulation, I think the first place that people go to is like, Oh, I will stay calm.
[00:03:41] I'll keep it together when things go wrong. And yes, it's that, but it isn't just about staying calm. It's actually about creating a real foundation of safety and real resilience in your subconscious mind so that you can consistently take action, even when challenges arise. And we know. Challenges arise, don't we?
[00:04:06] In life, in business, they're going to be challenges. And actually it's how we deal with them and how we, what I call bounce back from them, that really truly matters. Now your subconscious mind is always running the show. It is truly like that silent CEO behind the scenes. It's dictating your thoughts.
[00:04:26] It's dictating your emotions. It dictates your behaviors. And if your subconscious perceives something as a threat. Even if it's the risk of just putting yourself out there or the possibility of failure or the possibility of success, it is going to activate your fight or flight response. And the moment that your fight or flight response is activated, it triggers emotional reactions.
[00:04:55] Fear, frustration, avoidance, overwhelm. You, you can name quite a few, I can imagine. Now, when you are dysregulated emotionally, what happens is your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain really responsible for logical decision making, it's responsible for planning, Your prefrontal cortex is actually the CEO of your mind is what we say in neuroscience.
[00:05:26] What happens when you are dysregulated emotionally is essentially it shuts the hell down, it goes to bed, it don't want to know. And. That means that instead of responding to challenges, responding to, I don't know, a nightmare client, responding to someone not paying, all of those challenges that we get given, instead of responding to those strategically, you will react Impulsively, like boom.
[00:05:59] Maybe you freeze, maybe you overthink, maybe you spiral into the self doubt hell. But that's what happens. And that is why, is because your prefrontal cortex, the logical decision maker, planning, all the things we need for business shuts down. And you go straight into the amygdala, which is where all the emotions live.
[00:06:25] And I see so many people operating from a place of dysregulation. And when you are, you are not leading your business. Your emotions are. You are not leading your business. Your emotions are. The good news, I always like to bring a bit of good news. Emotional regulation is literally a skill and it's one that you can master by working with your subconscious mind.
[00:06:56] And it's something that I have mastered over the years and it has been the most powerful thing for me, especially when shit's hitting the fan. And I, you know, have been through a bit of shit and hitting the fan in my life. Outside of the business and inside of the business. And actually when you can come to these challenges with that very emotionally regulated subconscious and body, things feel a lot lighter.
[00:07:31] It doesn't feel as heavy. It doesn't feel as. Oh my God, I need to freak out. So let's talk about the science behind emotional regulation and actually how your subconscious mind really plays a role in this. Now, your emotions are really kind of governed by what we call the limbic system, which is the emotional center of your brain.
[00:07:56] And in that system, it's responsible for processing feelings, All the feelings, fear, joy, sadness, excitement, you name it. The amygdala, which I've kind of mentioned before in this podcast is part of the limbic system. And the amygdala works as almost like the alarm on your phone. It is your brain's alarm system.
[00:08:23] And. It detects threats around you, and the first thing it does is it activates your fight or flight response. So, when the system, back in the day, with our ancestors, this system was great for like keeping us safe from lions. Running from tigers and bears. Oh my, I'm sure I've said that in the podcast before, but actually fast forward into modern life.
[00:08:50] It's now triggered, not by lions, but it's triggered by negative feedback. It's triggered by low engagement on your social media posts. It's triggered by a tough client conversation. It's triggered by you're real that you've spent an hour. And a half working on absolutely falling to the depths of the dead reels.
[00:09:14] You know, all of these things, your amygdala now perceives as this threat. So it ain't the lion anymore. It's these very micro situations in your business, but it's putting you straight Now, the fascinating part about this, which I know you would like to know, is your prefrontal cortex, that CEO of your brain, has the power to regulate the amygdala.
[00:09:44] And like I said, it's like the CEO. And that CEO can step in and say, Hey, Hey, Hey, hello. Come on. It's not a lion. We ain't being chased. It's literally just a challenging situation. Let's handle this. And. We can use that time and time and time again in your business. Now, this is only possible when your subconscious feels safe.
[00:10:17] So if your subconscious believes that failure or rejection equals danger, if that's your kind of equation right now, it's going to override the regulation. Which is why when I'm doing work with clients, whether you are in the subconscious membership, one to one power up. The Millionaire's Hypnosis Bundle, wherever you are in my containers, we work on the subconscious reprogramming to shift those deep rooted beliefs.
[00:10:49] And then you can move into the emotional regulation because actually the deep rooted beliefs are keeping you in the state of dysregulation as well. Now, a powerful tool that I actually use and use my clients, um, not so much that I don't think they know that I'm using it, but I do it when we're in conversation, cause language is very, very important with the subconscious mind, is actually naming the emotion, naming the emotion as a behavior rather than this whole thing that's taken over you.
[00:11:22] And when you name what you're feeling, Like, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling scared, I'm feeling overwhelmed. The moment that you do that, you actually engage your prefrontal cortex and that literal simple act of naming out your emotion, telling me what it is or what, how you're doing it. I'm doing frustration, I'm doing scared, I'm doing overwhelmed.
[00:11:56] It simply helps you to step out of the react, the reactivity of it and into response mode. And that's truly what we want. I've done a podcast episode on this, like reaction versus response. Um, I'll pop it into the show notes as well. It's a really, really good episode. So naming your emotions can literally help you bring you back to your prefrontal cortex.
[00:12:20] So how do we regulate? Your emotions in real time, also while addressing the subconscious patterns that are driving them, because we want to kind of do them both in tandem. And by doing them both in tandem, like I said before, we need the subconscious to be behind what we're trying to emotionally regulate.
[00:12:40] So the first thing that I do is a very, very, very simple task because I work with a lot of high achievers. I work with a lot of driven, ambitious women who are always on the go. They're working very fast. They're moving very fast. They're doing everything very fast. And actually, when I see my clients being in this, um, out of emotional regulation, a lot of the time, it's almost like a bit of a tornado.
[00:13:09] It's a bit of a whirlwind and they come into Voxo and they're like, you know, like, you know, that feeling. Right. And actually what the first thing that I get them to do is to slow down. Down. Now, when you slow down, you actually start to regulate the nervous system because everything is taking time. You're actually breathing through what you're doing and breathwork is literally the fastest way to calm your nervous system and bring your subconscious back to safety, which we'll, we'll do some, I'll show you a simple technique in a really And what I mean by this is, whatever you're doing right now, I want you to just do at a bit of a slower pace.
[00:14:04] So if you're walking, I just want you to walk a little bit slower. If you are driving, I just want you to move your arm movements or blink a little bit slower. If you're in the shower Some of you still listen to me in the shower, just move a little bit slower. And it's just this powerful, powerful exercise that makes you take a breath, slow down, and start to see things a little more clearly.
[00:14:40] And actually, when I get my clients to do this, blows their mind. With how quickly they're doing things until I tell them to slow down, but also how they are missing so many things in life, because we are on this absolute hamster wheel of rushing to the next fricking goal and destination and the thing, and when you slow down, you actually become more present and we know.
[00:15:08] That the only time we have is the present. So that just literally that one little thing that you can do and the moment that you catch yourself, like it makes me laugh when I'm like, slow down, and it makes me laugh with how quick I've been moving since me telling myself to slow down, but you really, really come back into control, which is what we want.
[00:15:34] The next thing, like I said, breath work. One of the fastest ways to calm your nervous system. Um, I use box breath in hypnosis when I do hypnosis with people and on tracks. Um, very, very, very simple pattern that you can use to regulate your heart rate. It signals to your brain that you're safe and that's what we want to do.
[00:15:56] You know, when you're in this unsafety, which a lot of the time you are, especially when we're going to that next level, you're moving into that unsafety, um, Kind of growth zone in your business. You want to signal to your brain that you're safe because your brain will hold you there longer. Your subconscious will allow you to be there longer.
[00:16:18] So it's a very simple technique. It's in for four counts. So you inhale for four counts, you hold for four counts, you exhale for four counts, and then you hold an empty breath for four counts. So we're going to do it all together. Take a nice deep breath in. And are you ready? Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold it 1, 2, 3, 4.
[00:16:48] Exhale 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold the breath 2, 3, let's do it again. Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold it 1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale 1. 2, 3, 4, hold the breath. 2, last time, inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, I'm safe, hold. 2, 3, 4, exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, hold, I'm safe. 2, 3, 4, and just breathe normally now. And actually the more that you can do that, With your slowness, with your breath, feel how different you feel in your body now.
[00:17:45] And to be honest, a lot of the subconscious work that I do is about emotional regulation, and it is about feeling safe, because when you're in emotional regulation, when you're in self regulation, Safety, you are in such a different energy. And energy is a massive part of subconscious work. The energy in your body, the energy of how you're feeling, the energy that you're putting out into the world, the energy that you're putting into your reticular activated system.
[00:18:20] So that could be the one thing that you do. The moment that you've first named the emotion gone, okay, I'm in overwhelm. You've noticed it. You've become aware. That's the first step. Second, we go, okay, I'm going to slow down. Nothing needs to happen right now. I do not need to get back to that client right now.
[00:18:44] They can wait. I do not need to post this right here, right now. I can stop. I can move slowly. I can do my breath work and bring myself back into the prefrontal cortex. And even those three steps will truly start to change how you then show up for what you are currently facing as a challenge, or to be honest, day to day.
[00:19:11] Literally three simple steps. Now, some of the other things that you can do is reframe through language. This is another one of the basics that I'm going to be doing about language because language is very important to the subconscious mind, but really pay attention to the language you are using when you are experiencing a strong emotion.
[00:19:34] So instead of saying, I'm overwhelmed, Oh my God, I'm so overwhelmed. All I can feel is overwhelmed. Try having a look from your CEO, your prefrontal cortex. What I say to my clients is kind of come bird's eye view to the situation and maybe say, okay, I'm noticing that a lot of things are happening at once.
[00:20:00] Now let's kind of look at those two. I'm overwhelmed versus I'm noticing a lot of things happening at once. Which one feels like you've got more control over it? I'm noticing a lot of things happening at once. Because actually what my brain automatically goes to is then, okay, let's have a look at all those things.
[00:20:24] Can we break it down? Does everything need to be done, do, done right now? And actually that is the prefrontal cortex. That's myself, you in self, coming in and going, okay, okay. We can do something about it. I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. That's not giving you any answers at all. And that subtle shift really creates space between you and the And the emotion, because you are not your emotions.
[00:20:56] And I think sometimes we can play so much into the fact that we are, but the moment that you go up to that bird's eye view, the moment that you go back into self, you detach yourself from the emotion and what we call parts. If you want to know more about parts work, I've done a podcast episode on this.
[00:21:15] I'll link it in the show notes as well. We detach from the emotion. Detach from that part and you can regulate it. You can speak to that emotion. You can understand that emotion. You can understand what that emotion is keeping you safe for, what it needs. And that is going to really help as well. So the last thing that I want to talk about is really.
[00:21:43] Breaking through emotional patterns, because I think a lot of the time when we are emotionally dysregulated, there are a lot of reoccurring patterns. And we know that the more you play that pattern, the stronger it gets, the more you play it. So maybe you've noticed that every time you get close to hitting a very big milestone in your business, whether it be.
[00:22:10] Amount of clients or finances, next level, whatever that is. You play this pattern of feeling unworthy, or every time you are maybe about to launch, you are literally paralyzed by fear. These patterns are your subconscious trying to protect you and the subconscious mind doesn't do that. Distinguish between good or bad.
[00:22:38] It literally just wants to keep you safe. And if success feels unsafe, it's because it's unfamiliar. Your subconscious will sabotage you to bring you back to your comfort zone. So an exercise that you can do for this, I told you, I was going to give you a lot of to do's today. The first thing you want to do.
[00:22:57] Is identify the trigger. I have done a full podcast episode on patterns as well. I will also link that in the show notes. Um, it was a really, really, really powerful podcast episode. I had a lot, a lot of feedback on that about patterns and how we can work through our patterns, but. To break through the emotional patterns, we want to first identify the trigger.
[00:23:18] So, what situation is constantly bringing up that emotion? The second thing I want you to ask yourself is, what's the story I'm telling myself? What am I making this mean? What does that look like for me? And then what we want to do is because we've now detached from the story, we've detached from what the emotions, like I've said before, we want to reframe the story.
[00:23:52] So that could be through the language again, if the story is. I'll fail if I put myself out there. What do we want to reframe it to that is going to support you better in your business? Maybe that could be, I'm learning and growing every time I take a step forward. Feels safe, right? I'm learning. I'm growing.
[00:24:15] Every time I take a step forward, you want to reframe it and then you want to You really want to anchor that belief by taking those small aligned actions. The more you do that, the more you will feel safe. So I want you to start to really allow your body and your mind to be regulated and It truly starts from understanding the emotions, slowing down, taking a breath.
[00:24:49] This is why hypnosis visualization is very, very powerful. And I do it in the subconscious membership every single month. Like there is a reason why I do these tracks for my clients. Everything is connected. Everything. So I want you to really start to embody the version of you who is emotionally regulated, who is in control.
[00:25:19] Emotionally regulated doesn't mean, however, that you won't feel fear. Or frustration. It means you'll know how to navigate it without the emotions derailing you. It is powerful. We call it bounce back ability in my world. It is about bouncing back from what you going through, from how you're feeling, from what your subconscious is bringing to you.
[00:25:45] And a lot of the time when you. If you don't have these tools and you don't have the subconscious understanding, you, your bounce back ability, instead of taking 10 minutes, five minutes a day, takes four months, six months, you've been doing the same patterns then for two years. And it, that is so powerful because the subconscious is always going to bring us down.
[00:26:09] The subconscious is always going to have things that we want to work through. That's the power of the subconscious. We're always finding out new things about ourself, but actually it's what we do and how we regulate through them that allows you to keep moving through safety. So, visualize your next level self.
[00:26:27] How does she handle challenges? How does she make decisions? And the more you step into this identity, the more you'll train your subconscious to support you. Like I said, emotional regulation isn't just It is literally a form of self leadership and when you can master it, you are not just changing the way you show up for your business.
[00:26:53] You will change the way that you show up for yourself, the way you show up for your family, the way you show up for loved ones, the way you show up for your vision. It truly is powerful. So, Move slower today, take a bigger breath, name the emotions and know that we want to bring it back to the prefrontal cortex, the CEO of your brain, so you can then make those informed decisions.
[00:27:22] Rather than reacting, we want to be responding. I hope today's episode has helped, and I will see you on the next one. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast.
[00:27:44] And of course, that juicy 5 star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHaydon.
[00:28:07] com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!