You’re Not Scared of Your Next Level—You’re Scared of Leaving Your Old Self Behind [ep. #211]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you ready to leave your old self behind and step into the new year with a new identity? As we approach the end of 2024, it's time to shed the layers that no longer serve you and embrace the next-level version of yourself!
In today's episode, we'll dive into the identity shifts necessary to become the person who makes the impact you dream of. You'll find out why you might be struggling to leave your old self behind even though you are consciously ready for the change, and how to overcome the fear and resistance that come in the process. Plus, you'll learn how to celebrate your old self and how to honour your past self while stepping into 2025 with clarity and intention.
Whether you're listening in real time or catching up later, this episode will resonate with anyone ready to make BIG changes and confidently make the necessary shifts to step into their new identity with confidence and ease!
Topics covered on Leaving Your Old Self Behind:
What emotional challenges might you face when leaving your old self behind, and how can you overcome them?
How can celebrating your old self help you embrace a new identity?
Visualisation techniques that you can use to align with your future self.
Taking small, consistent actions is the deal-breaker for shifting your identity.
How can you create a sense of safety during your transition to a new self?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"The only thing standing between you and the next level is your belief that it's safe to step forwards." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
[00:00:26] So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve.
[00:00:31] Hello, gorgeous lady, and welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. I hope if you are listening to this in real time when it has gone out, that you are feeling very, very Christmassy and very ready for a huge celebration because Today, we are looking at leaving your old self behind, behind in 2024 and looking at what it's going to take to shed the layers that are no longer serving you.
[00:01:02] And I think sometimes what I see is People not actually being scared of the next level. In fact, you very much want the next level. You crave the next level. You are, you can see what the next level is going to bring for you. What actually is happening is you are scared of leaving your old self behind.
[00:01:23] And I know this one is going to resonate with so many of you. And I knew as we were coming into the new year, if you are listening to this in real time, or in any time, I know it's going to be helpful. It is that time where we go, right, what do I want to leave behind? What do I want to let go of to move into that new year?
[00:01:42] And this episode is truly about the identity shifts that is required to step into the version of you who runs the business, the life, and the impact you dream of. Because let's face it, the growth you're chasing Isn't just about the strategy. Isn't just about the hard work. It's about becoming someone new whilst really, really, really lovingly releasing parts of your old identity that no longer serve you.
[00:02:13] We are not here to bash the, the old you that hasn't served you, the beliefs, the thoughts, the traits, the attributes, we're not here to bash any of that, we're not here to be annoyed with any of that, we are actually here to go, you served me. I am amazing, and I lovingly release this now because I know I no longer need it.
[00:02:37] So today we are going to explore what that shift looks like, why it probably feels so uncomfortable and how to work through the fear, work through the resistance so you can truly and fully. Step confidently into your next level right now, right here, right now. So first thing I wanted to discuss today is why your old identity currently feels safer.
[00:03:09] You might be sitting there being like, why does it feel so hard to leave my old self behind? And the answer lies, da da da da, in your subconscious mind, obviously. It really truly lies in how your subconscious mind operates. Because your subconscious absolutely loves familiarity. It doesn't care whether your current identity is helping you or hindering you.
[00:03:41] It just knows that that is safe because it's literally what you've always done. So for example, if you have. Always identified as someone who struggles with consistency, who procrastinates, who doubts their abilities, your subconscious mind has normalized those behaviors. Even though you logically want to step into a more empowered, proactive, Always on top of things version of yourself, the act of changing that feels risky to your subconscious mind because it's unfamiliar.
[00:04:21] Now, what I want you to also remember is that your old identity, it probably will come, and often comes, I see with my one to ones, with very deep emotional ties. So maybe you've attached a sense of pride, or comfort, or attention, or love to the hustle, to the grind, to, to the, to the working mindset, or maybe plain small has kept you connected to a sense of belonging, with Others who do the same.
[00:04:58] There is so many times where our old identity is tied so much in emotion that you receive that it feels hard to let go of that, to let go of the behaviors because your subconscious mind thinks that you're going to also lose the emotion behind it too. Now, The powerful reframe here is that you are not scared of the next level.
[00:05:24] You're scared of losing the safety and the familiarity of the person you've always been, and that's okay. It's actually very, very normal to grieve parts of you that are outgrowing. To feel like that has been such a big part of you for so long. To feel like that's the way you've always done things for so long.
[00:05:56] And that's okay, but it doesn't mean that we have to be stuck there. Now, the emotional weight of letting go of your old self, this is something I see all the time with my clients. They're very excited about stepping into the next level. Uh, they're very excited about what it's going to bring. And then out of nowhere, there is fear, there is guilt, there is sadness, there is hurt.
[00:06:24] And actually this happens because your old identity often represents safety or relationships, or even love, to be honest. And for example. If you've always been the friend or family member who kept things small, stepping into a more empowered version of yourself might feel like you're risking rejection, you're risking the loss of those friendships, the loss of those family members, the, the judgment of those, and it is that disconnect that we need to create.
[00:07:06] With that, because your subconscious is asking, will they still accept me if I'm successful? Will I still fit in? What if I outgrow the people and the spaces that have been a big part of my life? And these fears are completely valid and they completely deserve compassion. And it was something that I really had to look into when I was doing this work at the beginning, because I, Flew as a human when I started doing subconscious work.
[00:07:39] Um, and this would have been back in 2019 and I had a lot of habits. I had a lot of behaviors. I had a hell of a lot of thoughts that were not serving me. And through my NLP training, through my hypnotherapy training, all of the other trainings that I've done, and then went on to work with clients and continuously worked on myself, I noticed that.
[00:08:04] I was outgrowing a lot of things, a lot of things, and some people were coming with me on the journey and some people didn't want to, and I had to be okay with that, like I had to be okay with the fact that my relationship ended because of that, I would say, you know, if I really look at it, if I really reflect on it, um, with my ex, a big part of that was because I was growing and Developing and really becoming this person that I've always wanted to be, and that I've always seen with this business that I've always wanted in a life that I've always wanted.
[00:08:47] And he did not want to come with me in the way of he didn't want to do work on himself. He wanted to stay stuck in the patterns. He wanted to stay stuck in the negativity and he, and that was okay for him, but it wasn't okay for me. And. I think sometimes that's scary. I've had quite a few conversations with people in my world about that.
[00:09:08] And I know, you know, I've spoken very openly about that. Um, and I have quite a few clients who come to the realization that maybe things in their life, whether it's relationships, whether it's location, whether it's, you know, a lot of environment. Things come up when we're doing a lot of work on ourselves.
[00:09:27] Um, and in order for me to move into that next level of me, it meant that I had to let go of Australia. It meant that I had to let go of the relationship. It meant, and actually that felt really scary at the time, but I knew deep down, like deep, deep down that it was the thing that I had to do. And that was it.
[00:09:49] That was valid and it, I gave it a lot of compassion, albeit felt very, very scary, but it was something that I had to look at in order to let go of that old identity. Now, I'm not saying you have to uphold your life, break up with the person that you're with and move to a different country, like that doesn't have to happen.
[00:10:12] At all, it had to happen in my situation, but my situation is a hell of a lot different to anyone else's. And actually people, a lot of people will grow with you, will want to come with you. Um, be it friends, be it family, be, you know, whatever that looks like. But actually, if you are going through something that.
[00:10:31] I was just talking about. That's okay. Like, it's okay to feel the guilt. It's okay to feel the sadness. It's okay to feel the fear, but just understand that you are choosing to trust that the next level will bring you new connections, will bring you new experiences with new people. The alignment. And that's what I had to say.
[00:11:02] That's what I had to say, because I didn't know that. Like I had a very big intuition that it would, um, especially when I met Jack, I was like, yeah, he is going to give me everything I want and everything I need. And that has completely happened and carries on happening. So, um, Instead of fighting the emotions of letting go of the old identity, the old self, and this, again, doesn't have to be with people, this can be with the way that you're doing things in your business, the clients that you're currently speaking to, like, Just acknowledge the emotions and I want you to say to them, I see you, I know you're trying to keep me safe, but I'm choosing to trust that my next level will bring new connections and new experiences that align with who I am becoming, with who I am becoming.
[00:12:00] And it was just so powerful for me to believe in that, to trust that. I had to do work around that. I'm here to help you if you need to do work on that too, but just know that it, it does, it does happen. It does happen because you are in a different energy. You are a different person. You are attracting your reticular activated system is working in a different way.
[00:12:23] So I just wanted to kind of speak about that today. So let's kind of have a look at how to work through the fear. So we kind of understand that the, the root of the fear is this, um, The fear of letting the old self go and leaving the old self behind. Now, a couple of steps that are going to help into this transition.
[00:12:46] The first one is celebrating your old self. Like your old self fricking got you here. Every habit, every mindset, every action, even the ones that you are ready to release, truly served a purpose. They did. They wouldn't be here if they didn't serve a purpose at that time. Maybe they kept you safe during a very challenging time.
[00:13:13] Maybe they taught you a lesson that is now propelling you forward. Every habit, mindset, action served a purpose. And your old self got you here. So we do not need to be angry at her. We do not need to be pissed off at her, we need to give her gratitude and even probably take a moment to write a letter to her, you know, that might help with that detachment of yourself, your old self, write a letter to your old self, thank them for the role in this journey.
[00:13:50] Let them know it's time to bloody pass the torch to this next level self, what you're leaving with them, what you're thankful for them giving you, the understandings, the knowings, the learnings, the, the, the everything they, they've got you to where you are today. And we can only be thankful for that. They have allowed you to see that there is another level out there.
[00:14:15] Powerful, right? So instead of being annoyed, instead of being frustrated, instead of being like, Oh my God, like, why can't I just let this bitch go? She's doing my head in. Like, be thankful, be grateful for everything that they have given you.
[00:14:33] The next thing is obviously, Visualization, you know, really where the subconscious reprogramming comes in.
[00:14:40] And I want you to, over the next couple of days, I know it's Christmas if you are listening to this over the Christmas break, but spend some time every day visualizing the version who has already stepped into your next level. We've done this a lot. Really how they think, how they act, how they feel, what does their environment look like, the more you can really imagine this, the more your subconscious will accept this as your new reality.
[00:15:09] If you want some real strong, powerful visualizations, I would get yourself into the subconscious membership. I am, I put one out every single month that really allows your subconscious mind. To bring safety into what we're moving into. That's what visualization does. You know, your subconscious doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is not.
[00:15:31] So let's feed it with what you want it to see, because then you start shifting into the energy. You're starting to reprogram your reticular activated system to see the opportunities. And the more you can vividly imagine that next level. The safer it will feel, the safer it will feel again and again and again.
[00:15:51] And then you want to anchor in your new identity, you know, anchor those new identities with the aligned actions. It doesn't have to be this huge leap, which so many people think it has to be. You know, this like one day you wake up and you're this whole new identity and you've changed the color of your walls.
[00:16:08] You've changed your hair, you've changed your window frames. You've changed it all. No, it's these small, consistent micro actions. I always get asked, like, how did I shift so much into, you know, how do I shift identity so quickly? How do I shift into different ways of doing things so quickly? And all of those things, I get asked that so often.
[00:16:31] It's because I do very micro consistent actions. Micro consistent actions day after day. And all of a sudden I am my next level self. Like it kind of happens and I'm like, Oh, cool. We're here. Yeah, because I've done that work. It's those micro actions. Remember every time you take action from your future self, you are teaching your subconscious that this is who you are now.
[00:16:59] That's why I always say, be as if. Teach your subconscious mind that that is how you operate, that that is who you are. It is such a simple technique, and so many people think this next level identity, shedding the old identity is this huge, like, Round the fire pit, dancing, singing, breakthrough. Like, no, it's the things that happen in those tiny, tiny moments.
[00:17:25] So now we've got a couple of things in place. We now want to build safety into the transition. So here's the thing about growth. It's not just about pushing through the discomfort. Which a lot of people tell you to do. It's actually about creating safety in the process. Your subconscious needs to feel that it is safe to leave your old self behind.
[00:17:49] It needs to feel safe to leave your old self behind and to step into something new. Now, one way to build this safety is speaking to yourself. Language. Language, language, language. The self talk. And instead of saying like, Oh my God, I'm scared for the next level. Oh my God, like, I'm scared to grow. It's safe for me to grow.
[00:18:14] I am supporting myself in this transition. We want to build the safety in. Stepping into that next level, how are you going to handle it? What is it going to look like? How are you going to feel? Really understanding that your subconscious needs to feel That it's safe to leave your old self behind. And this is when you can set things up like what needs to happen for this to happen.
[00:18:46] Another question I ask my clients all the time, you know, set yourself up for success. Don't just say that you want all of these changes and then expect your subconscious mind to be on board with them. You need to repeat and repeat and repeat around the safety of that. You really need to do that. So. Once you've got everything in place, we're building the safety in the transition, we've thanked our old self, we've sent her love, we've sent her gratitude, we've written her a letter, now it's time to embrace the new you.
[00:19:23] And this is truly where the magic happens because the more you be as if you're already the person, that person that you want to be, the more your subconscious will align with that reality. And this is where you need to get so clear on how does your next level self make decisions? What boundaries does she have?
[00:19:40] What energy does she bring into her business and her life? Like, we need to get so clear on one that looks like, because a lot of the time people I see women truly wanting that next level, but not really a hundred percent being clear in what that next level looks like. The subconscious needs the path of least resistance.
[00:19:59] So if you ain't creating a path, it ain't going to be walking down it. So these questions will really guide you to the actions that we were talking about. We don't have to have it all figured out. You know, growth is always a process. You are allowed to take it one step at a time. At a time, so leaving your old self behind is not about rejecting who you were.
[00:20:23] It's not, it's about honoring your journey. It's about choosing to really evolve into the person you're meant to be. You are worthy of that next level. And actually the only thing standing between you and the next level is your belief that it's safe to step forwards. Literally the only thing. So I hope today's episode has resonated with you.
[00:20:51] I cannot wait to see what 2025 brings for you. I want to thank you so, so much for being part of the podcast for this year. If you've been listening for the whole of 2024, if you're new here, hi, welcome. I love having you here and I love being in your ears every single week. Really create the safety around this because I know that you can do it.
[00:21:14] I know you can do it. I will see you on the next episode, which will be the last episode of the year. And, uh, have the best Christmas if you are listening in real time. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So, whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favourite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that juicy 5 star rating.
[00:21:43] These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHaydon. com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!