Special Episode: Grow Your Business with Episodes You Loved in 2024 [ep. #210]

17 Dec

Grab a cosy drink, settle in, and let's explore these episodes that have sparked some of the biggest breakthroughs this year. Trust me, even if you've heard them before, you might just find the new wisdom gems you've been waiting for.

Topics covered on Grow Your Business:

Transforming your money beliefs and identifying the subconscious stories you've created around money.
What steps can you take to overcome the fear of judgement and stop playing small?
My favourite subconscious hacks that can help you align your subconscious mind with your big goals.
Why do we crave external validation and how can you detach from it to feel worthy and successful on your own terms?

Connect with Rebecca Haydon:

Come say hi on Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related episodes you may enjoy:

Quote:

" Living in the past never moves you forwards." - Rebecca Haydon

Transcription:

Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!

[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.

[00:00:26] So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve.

[00:00:31] Hello, beautiful lady, and welcome back to The Subconscious Expert. You have already seen, as clicking on the title, that today we are doing the top four podcast episodes of 2024. And, This isn't just a little look back of some of the incredible conversations and insights that I've shared throughout the year on The Subconscious Expert, and by gosh, how many good podcast episodes has there been, but it truly is a bit of a whistle stop tour masterclass to help your subconscious, to help the growth.

[00:01:09] We're looking at money, we're looking at external validation. We have basically took the four top podcasts 2024, the most listened to, the most downloaded, and we've compiled them together in a one big mammoth episode. Thanks to my podcast manager, Nicola. I'll give her a quick shout out. If you are looking for a podcast manager, I will pop her details in the show notes.

[00:01:32] I cannot rave about her enough, and she has made this podcast episode come to life. So here's what we're doing today. We are going to spotlight. the top four podcast episodes. And these are the episodes that resonated the most, that probably sparked the biggest breakthroughs, and that are packed with transformational tools, takeaways, that are really going to help break through those subconscious barriers.

[00:01:57] And that's what we're here for on The Subconscious Expert. So, let me take you through what to expect from each of the standout episodes.

[00:02:06] The very first one was episode 182, Are You Subconsciously Ready for Your Next Level of Wealth? It's looking at transforming your money beliefs and we're diving back into the episode where I dig into the subconscious stories that you've created around money, whether it's the fear of holding it, the shame around losing it.

[00:02:25] The Disbelief of Your Ability to Grow It, and really guiding you through these beliefs, creating safety around wealth so you can step into abundance.

[00:02:35] We then move into episode 166, which is Stop Playing Small, Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen and Judged by Others. If you've ever held yourself back because of the fear of judgment or worry about what others might think, this particular bit of the episode is for you.

[00:02:53] We're talking about building safety around being seen, owning your energy, stepping into your full power, even when We're going to have those, you know, externals that might not agree with us, that might not understand, and how we do that.

[00:03:08] We then segue into episode 160, which is my subconscious hacks for the most epic 2024, and I know we're at the end of it now, but they will still resonate to take you into 2025.

[00:03:21] These are the hacks that I use, I absolutely swear by, to really keep your subconscious mind aligned with those bigger goals, visual reminders, anchoring in your new beliefs. It's a real practical, practical bit of the podcast.

[00:03:35] And then finishing with episode 192, How to Stop Seeking External Validation.

[00:03:42] This was such a big hit when it went out. I'm going to uncover in this section why we crave that external validation, how it's holding you back from feeling worthy, feeling successful, feeling enough on your own terms and how we can detach from the need for that external approval, build that unshakable confidence.

[00:04:05] So I would suggest you grab a notebook, get a cozy drink, settle in because we're about to deep dive into the episodes that. Truly transformed your life and business in 2024. And even if you've listened to them before, you might just find the breakthrough you've been waiting for. You might just hear what I'm saying in a slightly different way.

[00:04:25] And I think it's just such a good reminder. Of the podcasts that have been the most downloaded this year. So before we dive in, I just want to say thank you so much for listening this year. I love the podcast. I love hearing that you're listening. I love hearing that you're having aha moments and takeaways and feel like you're on a coaching session with me, to be honest.

[00:04:47] That's what I made the podcast for and I am so Internally grateful for you dropping in every Tuesday if you are a, uh, like a hardcore fan of the podcast or listening throughout your week and really taking something from it. I cannot thank you enough and I am so excited to bring you more knowledge, more wisdom, more support, more strategy, call you out and kick your ass more into 2025.

[00:05:15] Let's dive in. What I want to actually look at today Is the story that you've created around said money, the stories that your subconscious, your parts have created around holding or having, or making money, whether it's 10 pounds or whether it's 10, 000 or 10 million, whatever it is, we want to have a look at the stories behind that, because a lot of the time.

[00:05:47] Where we have these stories where it's like, I can't hold on to money. I have a lot of clients who are like, I hit incredible milestones in my business. And I've even had like a couple of really high cash months, but every time I've kind of made it with all this money, I feel fear. I feel shame because that money is no longer anywhere to be seen.

[00:06:12] You kind of, it feels so unsafe for you to hold it. You throw it back out, which. In turn, if it's coming from the right place and you've invested it somewhere, you've invested it back in the business, I'm all for it. Like I'm all for that. But if you're kind of getting rid of it because it feels so unsafe to hold, no wonder we're not going into that next level because we're not currently looking after the money that you have right now.

[00:06:40] And not only not looking after it, not being, like, grateful for it, not being in the moment with it, not going, Oh my God, this life and this amount of money that I have now is literally the dream life that my past self had a couple of years ago. And the, like, I can't hold it, I feel irresponsible, I'm scared of making more again, that you hold on so tight to those beliefs that you try and increase your income, but it's not working.

[00:07:15] And that is because your subconscious is blocking you from making more money because you're scared you won't be able to hold it. Money doesn't feel safe. So we want to create safety around the money you already have. We really want to create that safety around. What's already there and what's going on right now.

[00:07:38] And I think really having a look at that for you today is going to allow your subconscious mind, because this is what you want to teach it from, you know, in, with a new neural pathway is, well, I can handle, I am responsible. I can hold this amount of money, so therefore I can hold more. Rather than, Oh my God, I can't even look after this amount.

[00:08:04] What the fuck am I going to do if a million pound dropped into my account next week? And there are so, so many articles, and I know I've said this before, about lottery winners not being able to keep their earnings, to keep their winnings, not earnings, keep their winnings because they don't know how to handle it.

[00:08:24] A lot of them go bankrupt. Of course they do, because they've never experienced that amount of money. Their subconscious is like, oh my god, and then we spend it all, and then they're back to where their actual subconscious lives within their money story. So, I've got a couple of questions that I want us to work through to start off with.

[00:08:46] That's really going to allow us to tap into your money story at the moment. And it might feel confronting. And I feel, especially when I was doing this, money felt one of the most uncomfortable subconscious things for me to look at because it was such a huge story that I held about myself. So I get it. I am with you.

[00:09:12] I am holding you. And I just want you to know that yes, It really feels uncomfortable and it feels uncomfortable to look at it, but you are so not alone. You're not alone. And there's so many people who have debt, who have done silly things with their money, who have invested in the wrong thing. Like there's so, there's so many people going through this and because it's such a taboo subject outside of this industry, and I know in this industry, it's not a taboo subject because it's the fucking forefront of Every piece of marketing you see online is the amount of money that someone's making.

[00:09:52] But because not a lot of people talk about it, we then as a society create shame around what we've been through or what we've experienced with money when actually there's a lot of people going through it. So I want you to be really neutral. With these questions, and I want you to be really understanding of yourself, and actually, I want you to almost become an observer, which is really tapping into self, which is the parts work that I do inside my one to one containers, and actually, we're doing parts work in the membership at the moment.

[00:10:28] You want to really step into self with this. You want to become the observer. You want to become curious. You want to become confident around this. And so I don't want you to bring in shame because shame tells lies. Shame keeps us still. Shame doesn't move us forwards or backwards. Shame is a projected story on what you're, what you've been through.

[00:10:51] And at the time, you were literally doing the best you could with the resources that you had, with the mindset that you had, with the understanding that you had at that time. And living in the past never moves us forwards. There is haters out there, there is keyboard warriors, and they're going to be there.

[00:11:14] They are going to be there, and everyone is going to have an opinion, but it's what you do with that opinion that really fucking counts. And one thing that I always say to my clients, and this is a question that I always ask myself, is what am I making this mean about me? What story am I making this mean about me?

[00:11:37] So, for example, I'll use the fresh one, the engagement pictures. I was funnily putting up a lot of pictures of my ring, and not even funnily, I get to put a lot of pictures up of my ring. It's a fucking beautiful ring. However, I had three people from my old job, when I worked more in the performing arts, I had three people message me, who were my friends.

[00:12:03] They were my friends and they said, Beck, you're, you're absolutely killing me with these ring photos. Like it was just like, it was a very snide, small comment that I was like, okay, lovely. So instead of, you know, celebrating, instead of, Not saying anything at all, they'd gone out their way to comment about how many photos I'd put up about my ring.

[00:12:26] Now, I could have took that as a, oh my god, I'm showing off too much, people are hating it, let me stop posting about it. Like, I could have took that and made this whole freaking narrative about it. I could have, and I did, for a short moment when she first messaged, but I was like, what am I making this mean about me?

[00:12:50] Because actually, and I've said this time and time again, usually, nine times out of ten, It has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the person who is messaging or saying that comment or sharing their opinion that's coming from their map of the world. It has more to do with them than it will ever have to do with you.

[00:13:14] And actually, you being that trigger for them just means that they've just got a bit of work to do for themselves. So I had to create safety around being the trigger for people, and I am, I am a trigger for people, I know that, but I had to create safety to be able to show up anyway. Because the fear of being seen has to come with the price of being seen.

[00:13:44] In order for you to Get what you want in order for you to be seen, to be known, to have people talking about you, what you're doing, and that iconic energy. You have to put yourself in a place where some people might not agree, might not resonate, might not understand, might hear it in a different way. And I have spent so much of my life Trying to mold the narrative of what people think about me and how I can make them see that the judgment that they're having with me is wrong.

[00:14:21] And I have spent so much energy on those people. I have spent so much energy trying to tell them how kind I am, how much I care, how much I love what I do, and why I'm saying these things. You know, I have a lot of friends who have been triggered by my marketing. God knows why they're still watching my stories, because they're not my ideal clients.

[00:14:45] But You know, I do things in a specific way because of the business or because of the marketing or because of how I want to be seen and how I want to show myself on Instagram or online. And I have to be okay with them receiving it the wrong way. And I really want you to be okay with that too. And yes, it's hard.

[00:15:07] It's hard to receive those comments. It's hard to receive that feeling. It's hard to receive someone not enjoying me putting up a hundred pictures of my ring. But actually, was I having the best fucking time of my life? Had I just got engaged in a private helicopter over the New York skyline? Yes, I had.

[00:15:31] And no story, no judgment, no single person was ever going to take that away from me. So when it comes to the fear of being seen, have the fucking fear and do it anyway. Because there's always going to be people out there that don't resonate. There's always going to be people out there that have an opinion, that mock you, that take the piss out of you, that tell you that you're wrong, that tell you that they don't agree.

[00:15:59] But actually, Are you gonna let them stop you from living the life of your motherfucking dreams? No, you are not. The shifts that you are making, the beliefs that you are changing, the identity that you are stepping into, the habits that you've wanted to bring in, Anything like that. We as human beings forget very easily.

[00:16:21] We want the path of least resistance and we want to go back to safety, to what we know, and we revert back very quickly. So if you've done this huge vision board and set all these goals and mapped it all out, but then you shut your computer down and you don't look at it for another month, guess what?

[00:16:39] Like, you need to make sure that you keep it visual and not only keeping it visual. What I say to my clients is, if it's post it notes, if it's an alarm on your phone, if it's, um, a picture somewhere, if it's a word somewhere, like, whatever that looks like, just start to pop these subliminal messages into your day.

[00:17:03] Like subliminal messages into your day because you will be very subconscious during your day with 5 percent conscious. So you're going to be very subconscious throughout most of your day. So actually help yourself out, you know, put it somewhere that you can see, read your goals every morning, visualize every morning, whatever it looks like for you, write them out every morning, but make sure that in your psyche, make sure that you're refreshing.

[00:17:29] Your memory, every single day, twice daily, three times daily, however many times that you need, because again, your subconscious will just go back to what you know, what it was like, what you were doing before. So anytime you're bringing in a new habit, You know, when I was doing a lot of weight loss, hypnotherapy, I would get my clients to put water bottles in every single room that they go in.

[00:17:56] I would have a water bottle in their car, a water bottle on their desk, a water bottle at their bedside to remind them to drink more water. It was that Physical cue for them to drink more water. So what physical cues can you put into your day? What subliminal messages can you put into your home, into your office, onto your phone, where you see them and you'll probably see them very subconsciously.

[00:18:23] But again, boom, it just reminds you. This is why I always use colors with my clients. Whenever I, um, ask them to do. A bespoke hypnosis questionnaire so I can record a track for them, I always ask them a colour. And there's a reason why, because I embed the colour into the changes that we're making, and every time they see that colour moving forwards, they get reminded of the changes that we're doing.

[00:18:50] It's a little, very simple trick, but there's so many of my clients that are like, Oh my God, Beck, I have seen so much turquoise blue today. It's ridiculous. But every time they see turquoise blue, we have trained the subconscious to remind them of all the positive things that we're creating within their subconscious mind.

[00:19:10] So really using that as a hack, keep it visual. How many subliminal messages can you put? You know, in your house, when I was doing a lot of subconscious shifting for me and a couple of patterns that were constantly repeating back in 2020, I had post it notes everywhere, like everywhere, and not so much now, but.

[00:19:32] Like, it was, it really worked for me, like, it really worked to just keep reminding me, just to keep reminding of that, that's why I'll always have a post it note around my computer of what we're working on, that's why I'll always check my ClickUp in the morning, that's why I have the vision boards, like, You can create these things, but make sure you bloody do something with them.

[00:19:52] You know, use them as a subconscious hack rather than just doing it and then never looking at it again. What exactly is external validation? It is the affirmation. It is the approval. It is the recognition that we seek as humans from others to feel good about ourselves. I mean, within that one sentence, that's enough to tell you, right?

[00:20:19] And it can come in so many forms. It can come pat on the back, a like on social media, a compliment from someone, a friend, whatever. And whilst there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying these moments, like I said, I want to preface that, there's nothing wrong with enjoying them and I want you to enjoy them.

[00:20:39] It's when you rely on them to feel successful and to believe you're successful, that's when it becomes problematic. So let's kind of start with understanding external validation as a whole. We need to have a look at our subconscious mind, to be honest, to start off with, because a very young age, we are conditioned.

[00:21:04] To very societal norms, to the parents expectations, to media influences. And our subconscious mind really operates on a level of awareness that absorbs these messages in and shapes our behaviors, shapes our beliefs. So if you think like at that point, those societal norms, the parent conditioning, all of those with external validation, they've probably come.

[00:21:35] And the fact that you are relying on that to feel successful has probably come from the ages of zero to seven. Now, that's from a subconscious point of view. From a neuroscience point of view, our brain has a reward system. That is heavily influenced by dopamine, um, which makes us feel pleasure, which makes us feel good.

[00:21:59] So when we receive a compliment, an external validation, our brain releases dopamine, giving us that reward like feeling, almost like a little bit of a drug, the more we get, the more we want. So there's a lot going on. As we're kind of almost programmed, like physically subconsciously programmed to seek out external validation.

[00:22:28] Um, and it's how we learn, have a sticker, put a sticker on the wall. You've done a good job. Like it's how we learn. It's how we adapt. It's how we grow in social environments. But there is a tipping point, like a literal tipping point where the need And I say need, the need for validation can undermine your self worth and it makes you so overly dependent on other people's opinions, on other people in general, for you to feel worthy, for you to feel successful, for you to feel enough.

[00:23:14] And it is hindering how you show up. Because the moment that you show up and you. Don't get external validation. You believe that you're not good enough. You believe that you're not successful. You believe that people don't like you because you have honed in on the external validation being the only way that you can feel all those things.

[00:23:35] So when we remove the external, because a lot of the time external validation comes from other people, hence the word external. When we remove that, if there was no one in the world telling you, liking your post, telling you how successful you are, how amazing your work is, what would you think? How would you feel about yourself?

[00:23:56] And that is a really fucking hard question to ask. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So, whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favourite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that juicy 5 star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you.

[00:24:24] Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, hit Head over to RebeccaHaydon. com. I'll see you there.

More about The Subconscious Expert:

Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!

Rebecca Haydon