Letting Your Business Be Easy Doesn’t Mean You’re Losing Your Ambition [ep. #244]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
What if I told you that you won't let your business be easy because you're terrified it means you'll lose your edge?
Today I'm calling out the dirty little secret every high-achieving woman shares – you've built your success on struggle and now you're addicted to it. It's time to stop gripping your business like it's about to fall apart, even if you are hitting 50K, 70K months.
I see you creating chaos the second things calm down. Adding seven launches to one. Leaving everything to the last bloody minute. Learning new strategies instead of using what's already working. You have trained your subconscious to believe that pressure equals purpose. So when things feel good? You panic. But what if the pressure isn't the fuel anymore? What if it's actually slowing you down?
Tune in to learn my exact three-step process I use with my clients to break this pattern, plus the one-word shift that changed everything about how I work. Because you can be driven, ambitious, and passionate without being drained by the end of every day.
Topics covered on Let Your Business Be Easy:
How to tell if you’re addicted to creating problems in your business?
How did your nervous system get so addicted to stress that letting your business be easy feels like a threat?
How did switching from “working hard” to “working intentionally” completely change my relationship with my business?
The difference between being driven versus being drained.
Why do so many women achieve huge launches then disappear, and how can you avoid that pattern?
The 3-step process to break free from your addiction to struggle and start letting your business be easy whilst smashing your goals.
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Message me on Instagram @_rebeccahaydon_
Related episodes you may enjoy:
Quote:
“ Ease doesn't mean that you don't care. It means that your subconscious finally trust that you don't have to struggle to succeed.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello, my gorgeous lady. Welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. By God, have I got a juicy episode for you today and something that I literally see in every high level, high achieving. Power fricking house woman that comes to work with me because this type of person, this type of client, didn't start their business to bloody coast on [00:01:00] buy.
They didn't build it to. You know, sit back, check out, lie on the beach. I know that, and I know that that is some of the marketing that, you know, people use of like, have more time and go and do nothing. But actually a lot of the clients that I work with are like Beck, I fucking love, you know, doing, working, being in my business, I love what I do and actually a lot of my clients come to me because they.
Have built their business because they had a vision, because they had a fucking fire within them because they had this mission or this purpose or this, like I said, vision for their life or for the business that couldn't be ignored and actually. A lot of them follow that. They, in fact, they never stop following that.
But what happens when the business is finally working and yet they're still holding it like it's [00:02:00] about to fall apart. Like they're back on struggle street. Like everything is going to go wrong at all times. And that is what I wanna talk about today. This very small, very subconscious fear. That if you let things get easier or if you enjoy it more, or if you let go of the struggle, or if you stop being so fucking overwhelmed and making things so complicated that you will lose your drive, that you will lose your ambition, that you will lose your mission, that you will lose your edge, your purpose.
It, you get the picture, and I have seen it in clients that are scaling to 50 K, 70 k, a hundred k months. They come in. Not very often do they share that they're working with me because on the front of the business it looks like they're absolutely [00:03:00] smashing it. However, behind the scenes, they are still gripping so tightly to the pressure because that's what they think is the fuel that makes it work.
Like, that's how it's got to be. That's how I am, that's how I behave. That's how I get shit done. That's how I am successful. But, and this is what I say to them, what if the pressure isn't the fuel anymore? What if it's actually slowing you down? And that is exactly what's happening, and we're gonna go there.
Right now, today. So the first truth that I want to bomb you with and really make you think about things is that what's actually happened here, if you are in this boat, or if you're experiencing this, or actually if you are, you know, someone who has that drive, that passion, that purpose, that mission, and you can feel yourself falling into this like pressure cooker.
Your nervous system, your [00:04:00] subconscious has literally been conditioned to confuse pressure with your purpose, and actually you have in the past, or right now, you've likely created success through very high stakes. Through very high effort, through very high responsibility, probably through a lot of punishment, and it worked and it still works, to be honest, until it doesn't or didn't, because actually no one is talking about what.
It what happens when your subconscious links success with survival mode. And actually when it does, it will continue to keep creating friction, so you will keep feeling like you're working for it. [00:05:00] And actually, and I've, I've, I've even stopped using this in my content, the word ease. Because ease, and that doesn't feel good.
In fact, you can't even connect to what that feels like. You've never experienced it. You don't register it as safe. No, no, no. Ease equals lazy. It equals not trying hard enough. It equals something that I can't have because I don't work that way, baby. I know. I know. That's what happens. And the part of you that knows how capable you are, she is terrified.
Terrified. That ease will mean that you will stop. Terrified of it. And so actually you keep subconsciously inviting back the chaos. And a lot of my clients are addicted, and I use that word and I won't even use it lightly. [00:06:00] They are addicted to creating more chaos when they have a taste of ease. Now whether that looks like overbooking themselves or adding on seven launches to the one launch they had or the last minute.com of doing everything to the very nth moment of the moment that it could be, or chasing something completely new, learning a whole new strategy instead of actually just using the one that's already fricking working.
And it's not that you don't know how to relax. Slash probably is, if I, if I really dig deep with you, it's that relaxing doesn't feel aligned with the version of you who built this empire or the version of you that you know could build the empire. Right. And actually, until we change the source, the literal source, and I don't mean tomato ketchup, I mean the source of your drive.
You'll always feel like [00:07:00] ease and having enjoyment in your business and just like excitement and joy and calm and looking after yourself is a threat to who you are. I'm gonna say it. I'm on my spicy box today, so let's go a little bit deeper now, when your brain experiences consistent pressure and when it's experienced that from probably a very young age, which is what I would hazard a guess of when it has experienced consistent pressure as the kind of backdrop to your achievement, your.
Your system learns to spike your motivation only under stress. So actually the only time that you truly feel on is when things feel hard. In fact, [00:08:00] I have so many clients that are like, oh, I thrive under pressure. Yeah, give me the pressure, baby. Because what that's actually done is create a loop. And the loop is, well, when it feels calm, I'm unmotivated, I'm lazy, I get nothing done.
And when it feels urgent, when it feels like I've got to do this for tomorrow, I'll switch on. In fact, I'll fricking smash it as well. And what's actually happened is you have trained you subconscious to equate tension with performance, with success. So you will carry on being intention.
Forever. Literally forever. If that's what you wanna keep, if that's what you wanna keep F, fine, be my guest. Don't carry on listening, because the subconscious wants predictability, right? And if tension and pressure, and stress and overwhelm, and this [00:09:00] has been the consistent conditioning for your success, it will cling onto it.
It will absolutely cling onto it. Even if consciously, you know that you have set yourself up in a way that you are craving more flow, more enjoyment, more maybe time off. Ooh, what is that? You know? And this is why so many high achieving women actually resist ease. It doesn't even compute in their head like that word.
It doesn't even land with them. Hence why I do not use it in my content. Not even talking about transformation because it's not a word that they use, right? Ease for them equals a lack of alertness, a lack of focus, a lack of fire. I've got rid of my ambition. I'm no longer driven because it's threatening.
It's threatening to the identity that actually got them there. Right. So actually we want to [00:10:00] change that because you say you want more. Ease, I'm gonna use that word. You know what ease looks like for you? You say you want that, but your identity hasn't caught up yet and you want new results. You want it to look differently, but you keep running old, rewiring like you keep running the old patterns, that familiar future and actually without a having.
Um, a subconscious kind of reference point that says, ease is productive or flow is productive. Or putting myself first is productive. Your mind will keep pulling you back into overwork. So let's shift a couple of gears. Even though I'm, I'm pretty much in gear nine already, already, but we wanna start cleaning this up.
So there is three steps that I want you to work on. [00:11:00] That will allow you to start creating this shift. Number one is I actually want you to identify what you are kind of buying at this level, and I don't mean physically in all the the 17 more courses and strategy things that you're buying to amplify your success.
I want you to actually understand what. You subconsciously believe you have to sacrifice to keep this level of success? Like what am I subconsciously believing I have to sacrifice to keep this level of success? Where am I still equating my worth? Yes, you are with your output. Like where [00:12:00] is that equation with your output, with your success?
That's a lot of the times where it's tied into especially success into your worth. Where are you actually bracing for burnout or failure or rejection and. I want you to really listen in to the stories that your mind is currently running with this, so you know, what specifically do you think will happen if you rest according to who and how true is that belief really, if we really look at it.
So really identify what you are buying as the truth at this level. Step number two is I actually want you to really shift the subconscious reference point. So a lot of the time I get clients being like, [00:13:00] how the fuck am I gonna keep this going? Like, how do I keep this going? Right? I actually want you to ask, who do I need to be for this to feel normal?
So when your subconscious identifies with the version of you who expects success, who feel safe being seen, who doesn't have to over-function to feel enough, what you will find is the results don't just happen like once they actually last. Visualize yourself six months from now. Still successful, still driven, still powerful, but feeling lighter, more flow.
I would hazard a guess. Way more creativity, because you're not in fight or flight. You are not in th you are in that prefrontal cortex. You are in self. What did you stop doing? What did you start [00:14:00] believing? How or what is different in how you hold yourself? What does that look like? What is the reference point that we are working on?
What is the new equation? And lastly, I really want you to anchor this new identity that we're working on. That doesn't mean that I have to like push, push, push. Um, you know, I can still be driven. Um, and I'm gonna tell you one thing that really helped me because by God I was in this, I was in this camp. Um.
Is, I want you to anchor your identity, this new identity with action. So move like her. Pick one action that reflects the version of you who doesn't have to rush to fix things, or doesn't have to leave things to the last minute, or doesn't have to second guess herself. Maybe it's a boundary that you'd usually bend.
Don't fricking bend it, [00:15:00] maybe. You have a win in the business and you hold it longer than an hour before chasing the next bloody thing. These micro moments are gonna tell your subconscious who you are stepping into. And actually, for me it was one very intentional shift of word because I love working. I absolutely love working.
And in fact, I come from a household who love working too. You know, my dad is. The hardest working man I have ever met. Everyone says it. My mom loves what she does. So much passion, and she works so hard and actually I grew up with that. I grew up with that hardworking trait. I, you know, I work hard, however, working hard, the word hard was not serving me anymore.
It wasn't serving me anymore. So [00:16:00] actually what I did to, to bring in more ease to. You know, let things become easier and still have my drive and my ambition and my, you know, focus and all of those things is that I started to call it working intentionally. That felt and feels to this day so much different for me because I'm working intentionally.
I am not working hard. I'm working intentionally, and what did I want intentional to look like? Now for me, I get a massive kick off. Being intentional. I think it is such a fucking flex that really holds my business in so much success and a lot of people. Are blown away at how intentional I am when I let you behind the scenes.
So for me, having that shift of like, instead of like, well, I have to continue [00:17:00] to work hard and because if I don't work hard, then I'm not driven and I'm not focused, and I'm not all of this. No. I can be driven, focused, and I'm working intentionally instead. Such a shift for me, such a bloody shift. So what happens when you really let it be easier?
Now, easier might not be a word that you resonate with, and what I would suggest you do is you go and do the work and come back and listen to this podcast episode when you're, when you're okay to hear the word easier is. And this is what happened for me. I still show up hella powerfully, right? But I show up from so much regulation, not reactiveness.
Not reactiveness. In fact, that was the biggest shift for me, and I have done a podcast episode on that. You know, are you responding or are you reacting? It landed with a lot of people, [00:18:00] so I would definitely recommend to listen to that one. I will tag it in the show notes, but. You show up powerfully. You are driven, you are focused, you are intentional, you are still working.
I still work, let me tell you. But I work from regulation. Regulation, not reactiveness. I still feel so ambitious, in fact, more ambitious than I ever have because I can dream bigger because I have more space. So it's clean, it's grounded, it's actually sustainable. And actually I no longer kind of like burn for the results.
I just receive them. I just receive them. It doesn't mean anything about me, whether I do or don't get them. And actually that allows the results to come in quicker and nicer and more enjoyable anyway. Ease doesn't mean that you don't care. It means that your subconscious finally trust that you don't have to struggle [00:19:00] to succeed.
You know, a lot of my clients be like, well, I, I honestly thought I'd lose momentum. If we got rid of that equation, or, you know, I didn't feel, I didn't know that it could feel like this in my business, but I'm clearer. I'm faster. I'm enjoying it more. I'm getting better client results. I'm getting better business results, I'm still driven.
I'm just not fucking drained by the end of the day. That is the shift, and you can have both. You can be driven, you can be powerful, you can be passionate, you can be ambitious, and you can actually enjoy it. You can actually enjoy it because what's the fucking point? If we can't, you're just gonna carry on being stressed and addicted to the struggle and overwhelmed for the rest of your life.
Yeah, I would say so until it gets to the point where you can't actually hold the business anymore. That's where it goes. I work with so many women who have been burnt out in the [00:20:00] past, so many women, and I want to be the person who doesn't allow you to get to the point of burnout. We re we respond rather than having to then become reaction to it.
So. If this is the work that you're ready to do, if you are ready to upgrade your subconscious identity that is driving your results, you know the results are no longer coming from the fact that you need to feel good about yourself or because the teacher told you that you don't work hard enough. So now you work extra hard because that's what you were told when you were 12, or you want to hold more without.
Fricking sabotaging your health. Yes. The amount of people that I watch online have huge moments in their business, or huge opportunities or huge launches, and then they fall off the face of the earth. I know exactly what's happening. You [00:21:00] cannot fool me. You cannot fool me. You can hold it. You can hold it without having those things.
If we have the subconscious foundations in place, if you want to work with me, what I want you to do is DM me the word mentorship on Instagram. I will make sure that my Instagram link is in the show notes, and I will show you what that looks like. Letting it be easier isn't going to be the downfall, and I know that's where your subconscious is going.
It is going to be the key to your next level. The space, the creativity, the structure, the flow, the intention, the enjoyment, the happiness, the fact that you actually get to live out the success that you've already built. That's what I want for you. So. I sounded a bit American then that's what I want for you, baby.
Sometimes I do wish I was American. I think the message would land more. Maybe that's a belief. But anyway, [00:22:00] side note, I will see you in the next episode. I love you so much. Thank you for joining me. And if you have enjoyed this podcast and you do listen every single week, please, please make sure that you are like and subscribing, sending me a dm, sharing it on your stories.
I still, to this day, the podcast is my favorite thing to do, um, and I want more people to listen. So make sure you shout about it. I would love that. I'll see you on the next episode. Bye. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that Juicy five Star rating.
These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore. And for the full show notes and more [00:23:00] resources, head over to Rebecca Haydon dot com. I'll see you there. I.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!