Why You Keep Snapping Back to Your Old Identity [ep. #239]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Do you ever feel like you're making progress only to blink and find yourself back where you started? Snapping back to your old identity is frustrating as hell, especially when you're doing the work! I've had this exact conversation with my clients countless times. They ask, "Beck, we've looked at this belief, we worked through it, so why do I keep snapping back to my old identity?" In today's episode, I'm going to tell you exactly why!
Your identity isn't just a label – it's a frequency your subconscious recognises and protects. Think of it like a radio station your brain keeps tuning back to, even when you try to change the dial. I'll show you why your subconscious creates a set point and then snaps you back like a rubber band when you stretch too far.
But don't worry! I'm sharing micro-actions that will rewire your nervous system without triggering that safety alarm. These aren't big, showy moves – they're tiny daily practices that compound into massive shifts. Ready to step into your next-level identity without bouncing back? Let's go there!
Topics covered on Why You Keep Snapping Back to Your Old Identity:
Why do you keep snapping back to your old identity even after making progress?
What makes your old identity like a favorite radio station you can't stop listening to?
Why does success feel so scary to your subconscious?
How do micro actions rewire your brain faster than big leaps?
How can you make your nervous system feel safe with a new identity?
How can you practice being your new identity during everyday activities?a
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
230. Shedding Your Old Identity: What No One Tells You About Becoming Your Higher Self
237. What It Really Looks Like to Make Your Next Level Feel Normal
213. The Safety of Success: Why Subconscious Self-Sabotage Kicks In When You’re Winning
208. Subconscious Basics: How to Emotionally Regulate in Business & Make Your Subconscious Feel Safe
202. Leaning Into Resistance: How to Stop Subconscious Blocks from Sabotaging Your Goals
Quote:
"When your nervous system is safe, your identity can expand. And when your identity expands, success becomes your new normal." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. Oh, today. Today's episode, we are going there because if you have ever felt like you are, yes, making progress, we're moving forwards, we're doing the thing, we're on the go, and somehow you blinked and you're back [00:01:00] in the same place.
As you were just moving from, this one's gonna feel like I'm reading your God mind, because we are looking at why you keep snapping yourself back into your old reality. And trust me, it can feel frustrating, right? Especially when you are in doing the work. I have this conversation. With my clients all the time in the way of like, Beck, we've looked at this belief, or Why do I keep doing this habit?
Or What's going on here? And I'm about to tell you why. I am about to tell you why. So the first thing that I want us to look at today is your identity. Because that's truly when we look at it, and I'm gonna speak about the logical levels in a moment, which gives you more of an understanding. But when we look at it, your identity isn't a label.
And a lot of the times we do label ourselves. I am [00:02:00] anxious, I am. Overwhelmed. I am stressed. Labels. Right, but your identity isn't a label. It is literally a frequency. It is a loop. It is a signature, like a literal, like you would do a signature for your name. It is a signature your subconscious knows how to recognize and from.
A physics perspective. Everything from your thoughts, from your beliefs, from your feelings, they all vibrate. Now, I'm not gonna get into the quantum field, the five D world, the, the, the atom conversation that is for another day and another podcast. And if you've got, can manage to get your head around it.
However, they all vibrate, thoughts, beliefs, feelings, the energetics of it, and. What your subconscious does is it locks onto the patterns you are [00:03:00] repeating the most. So whatever patterns you are repeating in your day-to-day life, in hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second if you keep repeating them, which is why the beliefs that we don't wanna keep when you keep ruminating on them, they get stronger.
They lock into those because they're familiar. So I almost want you to think of it like a radio station. And you're in the car and you're like, oh gosh. I've been on this radio station for, for quite a while now. I'm really into heart seventies at the moment. Don't come at me. I prefer, I prefer a bit of old school music than I do the new kind of music.
Um, I'm an old gal at heart, but imagine I'm in the car and windows are down, sun is shining, beaming through winds in my hair, and I'm listening to hearts. Seventies and it's not given me the kicker that I want. It's not given me the pizazz that I want for the sunshine, [00:04:00] and I try and change that radio to radio One.
Couldn't think of any other radio to turn it to, but I try to change the radio. Now if we look at it from a subconscious point of view, even when you want to listen to something new, eg. Radio one, eg. You want to step into a new identity, a new next level, your subconscious will keep turning the dial back to the same.
Station to the same old identity station because that's what's safe. So it will back to the station that you are on and your identity. It is really built by a couple of things, and this is why we have to be very aware when we are doing identity work because your identity, your self concept, the way that you see yourself, the way that you move around the town is constructed by [00:05:00] the internal dialogue that you constantly rehearse.
Say to yourself in your head, it is the emotional responses that got reinforced from, you know, mostly ages zero to seven, but then again throughout your whole life. It's, it comes from the sensory cues that you've subconsciously anchored. It comes from the patterns that you have seen repeated in your environment.
From caregivers, from parents, from friends, from teachers, so. The version of you who is sitting there literally journaling and scripting, your next level is often still on heart. Seventies is often still vibrating at the frequency at like of the old one. And actually if you don't shift that, like literal gravitational pull.
Of your current identity, you will always get pulled [00:06:00] back no matter how high you try to stretch yourselves. And it shows up in very sneaky ways. I call my clients out quite a lot, you know, they'll plan a, they'll, we'll plan a new offer together and then they'll crack on, um, like they'll crack on the price and it'll be the price of their old self or.
They will show up on stories, but then speak from the energy of their, you know, of that lack or the scarcity or the proven, or they say they want this very consistent income, but their nervous system is so wired for like, um. What do they call it? A feast and like that feast and famine, like your, your nervous system is so wired to be like petrified of money or scared of money or not be able to keep it, that they keep chucking it away and you can literally only create from the [00:07:00] level of identity that you've anchored in.
So we don't just shift goals, we don't just go, right. That's the goal that I want, and that's the way we're gonna do it. We need to shift the frequency behind it. And I know I'm going a little bit in the wewe world here. You know me. I don't spend much time there. However, it is the truth and it is the frequency behind this.
So like I said, I wanted to just. Go through the six logical levels. Now, this is actually from NLP, and it is one of my favorite ways to map identity changes. Now, a lot of the time, my clients won't know that I'm physically doing this. I won't say, right? Let's go through the six logical levels. I might tell them once we've done it, but we can map through the six logical levels and they are first level.
I almost see this as like the starting point of a pyramid. So imagine a pyramid. First level is the environment. [00:08:00] Where are you showing up? What does that look like? What's around you? What's supporting you in that next level? Secondly, the next rung on the pyramid, is that how you say it? I think it's the ladder.
But anyway, is behaviors. So what are you doing day to day? What are you doing? What's that looking like? The third one, capabilities, skills, strategies. What are you using? Fourth one, beliefs and values. What do you believe is possible? What do you believe is safe? What does that look like in your belief and values blueprint?
And then fifth. Identity. Who do you see yourself as? Yourself concept There is actually a six, WHI six, six, sixth, which is your purpose, the kind of bigger mission, the why that drives all of this, and actually. We can change through all of them. [00:09:00] And most people try to change from the bottom up. So they will tweak behavior or they will try and change one thing in their environment.
You know, like, oh, well when I move. Calling myself out here. Now, when I moved to Australia, you know it's all gonna change. And yes, environment plays a big part of it, but you have to also address the deeper levels, which is the identity, the beliefs, and values, the purpose. So when you shift at the identity level.
Everything else. Then realigns, and this is where we work in NLP, in the subconscious reprogramming, because we are not just changing how you act. We're changing who you are and who you are. Being at that. Deepest level, and we want to almost let the external world go, okay, you can come and meet me now, which a lot of my clients do.
You know, we change the internal world first, and then the [00:10:00] external world comes and meets us there. And actually you have to be brave to really sit in that and. Allow yourself the patience and the excitement of that external world coming to meet you. So let's dive into the whole preface of this podcast episode.
Why do I always end up back here? And it is the most frustrating feeling like I feel the frustration come through my clients. I've been in that frustration with myself. When you're like, again, like for God's sake, we've done work on this and. It is because the reason why we kind of ping back to this is because your subconscious creates a set point, okay?
Like it creates that homeostasis like the thermostat. And if you identity is. Calibrated to a certain level, and that could be [00:11:00] success, that could be visibility, that could be wealth, that could be amount of clients that you could hold, the boundaries that you put in place. If it's calibrated to a certain level, then every single time you step over that level, you dip your little toe into that level, you fucking bomb.
Dive into that level. Your subconscious reads it as unsafe, and it does what it is exactly designed to do, and that is to bring you back to your baseline. And very, very often, the metaphor that's used around the whole of this concept is the rubber band. So the kind of upper limit problem, you stretch into a new level.
So imagine we've got a rubber band in front of us. We are stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching. That rubber band. You start to see it get thinner. You can, you know, maybe even. Becomes quite see-through. The more that you stretch it and if your subconscious identity hasn't caught up, [00:12:00] bam snaps right back, right back in and.
Your brain builds strong neural pathways from repetition. So your old identity, like I always say, is like the well trodden path in the woods. It's well worn, it's very familiar, it's very easy to walk down. You can have a lovely dog walk. We've got trees. We've got. Plants, we've got roses, we've got butterflies.
It's a lovely, lovely track that doesn't serve you, but your new identity is still the fricking dirt track with tent and a bush that we need to cut down. You might visit it every now and again. You might journal about it. You might even take action from that path, but under stress. We have to default as humans to what is most like neurologically efficient.
Like when we are under stress, we [00:13:00] play the path of least resistance in our subconscious because we don't have the cognitive energy to really think about that new path. And what's most neurologically efficient in that moment is the old you. And that is why. You retreat when the sales hit, like when the sales don't come in, when they, when they hit a stop or you ghost social media after a big win, or you downplay yourself after you've done something big and it, that is literally your nervous system trying to stay safe.
So it's trying to bring yourself in to that rubber band, like going back into the rubber band. So. What do we do with all of this? Rebecca, I hear you ask because you're like, yes, I'm doing all of this right now and I'm frustrated and I'm sick of it. Well, the thing that we do is we rewire, oh [00:14:00] yes, we do. And that isn't.
Motivational. It's not motivational, rewiring. We don't do it. Just, you know, for five minutes after you've listened to this podcast and gone, God, Becky's really fired me up, so I'm gonna pretend that I'm gonna do this for a day and then I'm gonna forget about it tomorrow. Calling you out. If you've done that with my podcast, we are literally going to neurologically.
Rewire you and the more you take action from the version of you you are becoming in the most micro of ways, the more you are going to reinforce the new neural pathways every time you do something that is in the frequency, in the feelings, in the emotions, in the way that she moves, in, the way that she thinks, in the way that she feels.
Of your new identity is a ting, ting ting vote. So each one, each [00:15:00] micro action. And this is why I always say to my clients like, go Micro, you don't need to be. Doing the big, big things to really slot in that, that new identity. And that's why sometimes I can pop outta nowhere and do something huge and then everyone goes, fucking beck, where did you, it's the micro actions that I've been doing time after time, after time, after time, that's allowed me to then do the big things and hold it very well.
Be very successful and then carry on growing the micro, micro moments. If you take anything away from this podcast, it is that the micro ways, and every time you do those micro actions, it is a vote for the new identity and every time you do them, each one of those are going to weaken the hold of the old one.
It is like it's, it's naturally going to happen. We are not just changing what you are doing. We are building the identity of someone who holds, [00:16:00] who lives, who leads from that place daily, not just when you're showing up on stories, not just when you're doing client calls every single day. Behind the scenes.
Behind the scenes, and that is really, really so important. So what could those micro actions look like? You know, we want to shift from this embodiment, you know, rather than just thinking about it, rather than just, um, journaling about it. We really want to hold that new identity. From this, this place of embodiment.
You practice in it, day in, day out, these micro moments and to hold that new identity, your nervous system truly needs like certainty. It needs certainty, it needs predictive. It needs to feel familiar with the success before it arrives. So [00:17:00] let's go through a couple of things that you can do that. Are truly gonna bring in these micro moments.
So first of all is a bit of a tracking, um, exercise and tracking almost your self-concept. You know, tracking your identity instead of tracking your income. Instead of tracking how many new followers you've had, I want you to track some identity shifts. So like, what evidence did I. Have today that I embodied my next level self.
That means that you're going to have to put some things in place before you ask yourself that question on the end of the day, like what evidence did I embody my, what evidence do I have that I really embodied my next level self Today it's gonna really work with the reticular activated system. 'cause you are looking through your day [00:18:00] and you are allowing yourself to kind of bring in this tracking and being like, yeah.
Yeah, I really changed how I was thinking at that point, or I, yeah, actually I shifted my energy before I did this, or, oh, I caught myself in that spiral. I. Or I showed up to this live feeling X, y, Z. So like really tracking what you're doing. And that comes from having this awareness, having this awareness of the micro actions.
I, I would give you that as a, as a, as a thing to do. But I want you to do that anyway without me even talking about, like, go away and think about what are these micro actions that are gonna compound to your next level. So then. We are gonna track them. Self concept tracking. Number two is having a bit of a disruption pattern.
You know, like really kind of clicking yourself in and asking yourself some questions in the way of like, what's one thing I [00:19:00] do today if I fully believed I could hold this next level? And then literally do it before your system, your subconscious can resist it. Like, what's one thing I do today if I believed I could hold this next level?
I love that. Then the third thing I want you to do is actually kind of practicing through what we call the alpha brainwave state. So in hypnotherapy we take you into the theater brainwave state, but the brainwave state just before that is called Alpha, and I have spoke about this on the podcast before.
Now in when you are in alpha brainwave state. That's usually when we are doing a task that we've done many, many times before, so we can do it very subconsciously. For example, driving, walking, putting your makeup on, brushing your teeth, so these [00:20:00] kind of alpha brainwave state. Tasks that we do. What I actually want you to do, because we're already tapping into the subconscious in that alpha brainwave state, we're already kind of allowing the gatekeeper to let us through a little bit more than when we're in just kind of conscious, everyday brainwave state.
I want you to actually start to think about how you would do that action. As your next level self, and instead of kind of being in like a visualization or closing your eyes, like I want you to walk. If you're on the walk, I want you to go, okay, on this walk, I'm gonna walk like my next level self. I'm gonna walk as if everything I wanted, everything I desired has already come true.
I'm brushing my teeth this morning as if I'm about to go and do the day that. Feels my next level self day, like it's already happening. It's [00:21:00] already here. I'm putting my makeup on in the day. That is X, y, Z, and almost do these very small micro actions. Again, micro, micro, micro, doing these small micro actions that are more in the alpha brainwave state.
From your next level frequency. 'cause we're starting to really kind of move that radio station up and be able to hold it there. So doing these actions in that state and in that knowing and in that excitement and in that like it's already here, is going to start to shift how that feels in your body. And we are creating the safety around it.
We're creating the safety and like anything. We need to really flex that muscle. So the more you do that, the more you practice that, the more you be as if, the more the muscle will grow. The more easier it is, the more it becomes that well trodden path, which means that that's the first path we go to and [00:22:00] that's what we want.
So those are a couple of things that you can start doing. These are going to not only just support the shift and allow yourself to kind of be the elastic band and stay in the stay in that kind of tension until it becomes your normal, rather than snapping back. So you are going to be able to sustain it.
And when your nervous system is safe, your identity can expand. And when your identity expands, success becomes your new normal. Ta so bring in these micro moments. Have a little luck into when you stretch into that rubber band and you're like, whew, I'm in the stretchy bit of the rubber band. Like, let me breathe.
Let me bring in safety, let me understand what's kicking off here and how can I do the work on that. Come into my world and I'll help you. But really starting to understand how we create your next level in your now becoming that normal. And that is [00:23:00] in those every single day moments. It's not the big moments, it's not the big impressive things that you do.
It's in those micro, micro moments. And the more you practice those. And I think that's, you know, truly where the subconscious work lies. It's in repetition. Like my clients don't just come to one call. And yes, we get huge breakthroughs, but we have to then put in repetition after that to really create those new neural pathways nice and strong.
So really allow yourself, give yourself a chance. Basically give yourself a chance, because the reason why you're snapping back. It's because the repetition hasn't been there. You haven't, I wouldn't say you haven't committed to it enough, but really if you're snapping back like that, we need to do more repetitions with it.
So I hope this podcast episode has helped in some way, shape, or form. I'm looking forward to seeing what little micro actions you are bringing in. We want to really build this up and start to change the frequency of the radio. [00:24:00] No more heart seventies. We are fully on Radio one. I wish I. Thought of a better example than Radio One, which I'll never listened to anyway.
But anyway, I'll see you on the next episode. I love you lots. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast. And of course, that Juicy five star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you.
Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to www.rebeccahaydon.com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!