Leaning Into Resistance: How to Stop Subconscious Blocks from Sabotaging Your Goals [ep. #202]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you ready to break through the invisible barriers that seem to pop up every time you're on the cusp of something great? It's time to lean into resistance, baby! In today's episode, we're going to dive deep into the mysteries of the subconscious mind and its impact on your business success.
I'm peeling back the layers of resistance – that pesky inner voice that whispers doubts just as you're about to leap forward. Together we'll explore why resistance isn't just an obstacle but a beacon signalling that you're close to a major breakthrough. I'll guide you through understanding this protective mechanism of your mind and share strategies to align your subconscious beliefs with your business goals.
By the end of the episode, you'll see resistance in a new light, not as a foe but as a friend guiding you towards your higher self. Let's lean into resistance and turn it into your powerhouse for success!
Topics covered on Leaning Into Resistance:
Different ways resistance can manifest in your business.
Why does your brain react with fear when you're about to make a significant change, and how can you navigate this?
Why should you actually welcome resistance in your business?
The neuroscience behind resistance and its emotional ties.
How can recognising and leaning into resistance help you smash your business goals?
Creating a clear strategic plan can help align the subconscious with your goals, reducing resistance.
Journal Prompts on Leaning Into Resistance:
Where am I feeling resistance right now?
What am I afraid of here? What is the worst-case scenario my subconscious is trying to protect me from?
What am I afraid will happen if I move forward with this?
What story is my subconscious telling me to keep me in my comfort zone?
How does resistance serve me right now?
If I removed the resistance, what would I have to do?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"Resistance is a natural subconscious response to growth." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again. Your business cannot outgrow your mindset and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
[00:00:26] So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve.
[00:00:31] Hello my gorgeous lady and welcome back to The Subconscious Expert. Ooh, today we are diving deep into a topic that pretty much affects every single business owner at some point. Welcome resistance to the podcast. Welcome, welcome, come on in.
[00:00:53] We know we are a part of all of us, and it does so very often show up to us. Protect you. Now, whether you felt stuck, whether you felt unsure, or whether you've just found yourself massively in avoidance, whether that's avoidance of needle moving activities or putting yourself out there, whatever that looks like, resistance is going to be playing a A massive part in how we navigate challenges, in how we set goals, in how we move forward to the success that you desire.
[00:01:28] But here is the bloody thing, and this is why I wanted to bring resistance as a guest onto the podcast today. Resistance isn't just a word. Just a surface level problem. There is a lot more happening beneath the surface, especially on a subconscious level. And in today's podcast episode, I really wanted to explore with you and with resistance as our guest, why resistance shows up and actually how you can lean into it.
[00:02:01] Into it and work through it because when you do that, when you understand that and you understand the tools and techniques to be able to lean into resistance, you will finally get yourself back on track. And actually hit your goals very intentionally. And the reason why I wanted to bring resistance onto the podcast today is because it is coming up so often with conversations that I've had with clients that I'm working with.
[00:02:28] And resistance is showing up a lot at the moment because of obviously the subconscious blocks that I work with and work on with clients.
[00:02:39] So let's. Go back to the very beginning and really start by talking about why resistance happens in the first place. Now, resistance isn't just procrastination or just a fear of failure, although those are very, very often those common surface level symptoms.
[00:03:00] Resistance at its very, very core is a form of subconscious self protection. So when your subconscious mind senses change, when it senses growth, when it senses Anything outside your zone of comfort, it can trigger resistance as a way of keeping you safe. And it is literally like your mind throwing up a red flag and saying, are you sure about that?
[00:03:35] Are we sure about this? Because the subconscious mind, if you've listened to a couple of my podcasts, is deeply rooted in safety and survival. And it doesn't care about your business goals, and it doesn't care about your revenue, and it doesn't care about the book deal that you want, or the speaking gig you fancy.
[00:03:54] It's primary function is to keep you within what it knows is safe. And even if that means keeping you stuck, as we know. Now what I find, and this is why resistance comes up so often with my clients. is because resistance often happens when you are on the verge of a breakthrough. Not a breakdown, a breakthrough.
[00:04:19] And I have a lot of people come into my world when they know that They're pretty close to this breakthrough, to this leap, to this next level, but they can't seem to pass it. And it's really not an uncommon feeling to feel right before something big is about to happen. Now, whether that's a Launching a new offer, whether that's landing a high ticket client that you've wanted, whether that's finally reaching those consistent five figure months you've been working towards.
[00:04:59] Basically, the closer you get to that next level, the more resistance you are likely to feel. Because, to your subconscious mind, growth The ultimate unknown, like the ultimate unknown. And as we know, the subconscious craves absolute safety, stability, predictability, and growth equals change for your subconscious, right?
[00:05:27] Growth represents change, and change, even when consciously it's very positive for us, can feel like a threat to your subconscious, because it doesn't distinguish between good Growth represents change. Like, more income or more clients and bad change. And it knows that if it is a step outside of your comfort zone, and you are stepping into the unknown, that is going to feel unsafe.
[00:05:55] Even if we know logically that's exactly what you want. So, what I see with resistance, um, as you get closer to that next level, Whether it is doubling what you're earning, whether it's launching, expanding, going viral, whatever that looks like, your subconscious kicks in. And it kicks in to protect you from potential risks, whether it's failure, rejection, success.
[00:06:24] Resistance can arrive, not just from the fear of failure, but from the fear of success. What can I handle? What if I, you know, can't handle the growth? What if I'm not good enough to maintain this level? What if I outgrow my current relationships? All of the things that we speak about in a lot of the podcasts that have gone out recently, these subconscious fears can create a very, very powerful pullback that is keeping you stuck at your current level.
[00:06:52] And I know consciously you are freaking ready to soar. Like, you can feel it in your body that you are. You know in your mind that you are. But it's that pullback that keeps happening, and like I said, it's usually when you are on the verge Of a breakthrough, because your subconscious is like, shit, it's close, it's really close, and it brings resistance in, the part of resistance, hello resistance, welcome in, welcome to the podcast, um, it brings that part in, and that then shines out in your external reality.
[00:07:27] So, the frustrating part is When resistance shows up, it often stops you from working intentionally. And working intentionally on the very things that will move your business forwards. You know, you know, those little tasks that you need to focus on, whether it's creating the content, whether it's pitching to podcasts, whether it's setting up a sales funnel, whatever those are on your list, you instead find yourself caught up in the busy work, in avoidance, in avoidance altogether, to be honest, that is resistance, plain and simple.
[00:08:11] And what is happening is that your subconscious is using resistance. So that part of you, that part of resistance, your subconscious is using that as a tool to keep you in the familiar. That's why you may find yourself cleaning your desk for the third time. In that hour. Or tweaking your website when you actually should be working on a high level strategy that actually brings you in clients.
[00:08:41] Or clicking around in Canva because you believe that your branding is not on point enough to sign clients. And the problem is you cannot reach your goals if you're always reacting to resistance instead of leaning into it. Really, really important. And actually, resistance is something that we can celebrate because you can be like, Wow, I'm in resistance.
[00:09:08] That must mean I'm really fucking close to a breakthrough or I'm really close to something coming into fruition. And what happens is we react to it. We freak out. Other parts come in. You overthink, you overwhelm, you overdo, you overwork, you hustle. Instead of leaning into it. And actually understanding it.
[00:09:34] And this is where most entrepreneurs get stuck. They're not being proactive because their subconscious is pulling them into a reactive, safe space. So many clients resonate when I say. You are reacting to your business rather than responding. And actually, when you're not being proactive, it often means that you are in that reactive cycle.
[00:10:01] If you are constantly responding to whatever is happening in the moment, instead of intentionally driving your business forwards, you are going to stay in that cycle. Because your subconscious mind loves the familiar, it loves the predictability, it wants to keep you in a space where it feels safe. Where it feels in control.
[00:10:24] The busy, busy tasks that aren't actually moving the needle. The tweaking the website, the checking the emails, the consistent scrolling through Instagram or TikTok for three hours. All of these tasks might give you a sense of accomplishment. And a pat on the back and look how good I've been today because they're familiar and they're easy, but they don't require you to step outside of your comfort zone.
[00:10:52] So actually all they're doing is keeping you safe from the discomfort of real growth. Literally, and it shows up in so many ways with so many different people. Perfectionism, overthinking, you know, the, is my offer good enough? Let me hold off onto the, on this launch until everything is perfect, when really what's happening here is your subconscious mind is using perfectionism as a way to avoid the next step.
[00:11:20] It's all this, it's all this protection. All this protection and it really is to keep you safe, literally to keep you safe. So let's have a quick look, um, really around the neuroscience behind resistance because I wanted to dig a little bit deeper into what's happening in your brain when you experience resistance.
[00:11:45] Now, resistance is a result of how the brain processes change and fear, like I've said, the whole of the podcast. Because our brain, Really, really thrives on patterns. We are living in a world where we play the same patterns day in, day out. I always use this example. The, when you get in the shower, you always do the same thing.
[00:12:18] Like, You have your shower routine, you find it weird if anyone does it the same way, you know, when I get in, I wet my hair, the shampoo goes on, then I dry the shamp I wash the shampoo out, the conditioner goes on, whilst the conditioner is in, I wash my body, I then wash my face, I then take the conditioner off.
[00:12:35] And if I'm to do that in any different way, I'm like, what the fuck was that shower? My shower doesn't feel complete if I was to, um, pause and do that. When I put the shampoo in, if I was to wash my body after the shampoo, I'm like, what the hell is going on? Because that's not the pattern I use. Now, I never think about my shower pattern because it's so subconscious, and we have patterns in business too.
[00:13:03] I always use the shower as an example, but the brain really thrives on patterns, and when we try Break these patterns, for example, like setting a big business goal or trying a new strategy, what happens is the amygdala, which is that part of your brain responsible for processing emotions, Like fear sends out warning signals.
[00:13:33] Warning, warning, warning. And your brain really perceives this change as a potential threat. And again, we know logically it is good for us. And your subconscious mind is very closely tied to the limbic system, which is why resistance often feels so strong. Because it's deeply, deeply emotional. Deeply emotional.
[00:14:01] And those emotions, the emotions that you feel in resistance, Trust me, we've all felt them. They can trigger the self sabotage, they can trigger the procrastination, they can trigger the avoidance. So it really is all working in the way it should, but not the way we need it to be, and it's very, very good to understand what's going on.
[00:14:24] Rebecca Haydon, Leanne Sia, Robyn Koslowitz, Robyn Koslowitz, Leanne Sia, Robyn Koslowitz, You will get uncomfortable because a lot of what I do is breaking your patterns and setting up new ones that serve you better. Whether that's a belief pattern, whether that's a behavioral pattern, whether that's a strategy pattern, that's all I really do inside the all I really do inside the business.
[00:14:59] But that is what's happening. And the moment that we break the pattern, that's where we have to turn up the subconscious work. Because the amygdala, the limbic system, like all of the emotions and the feelings and the parts, they will all kick into gear because it feels uncomfortable. So, now we know what we know.
[00:15:20] about what is going on and we've brought resistance into the chat. How can we lean into it? Now the first thing I want you to do and the very first step is actually recognizing that it's happening and I want you to recognize that it's happening without judgment because there are so many times that Pretty much every person I've ever worked with beat themselves up for procrastination, or not getting things done, or having the same thing on your tick list for months and months and months, and there's this real, like, berating of self that comes in because you are such a high achiever and you do want the best for yourself and you do know that you're capable of it, and What I want you to do is I want you to recognize that resistance is happening without the judgment.
[00:16:19] So we're becoming very neutral with it because when you understand this, You know that resistance is a natural subconscious response to growth. Now that, knowing that, say it with me, resistance is a natural subconscious response to growth. And again, resistance is a natural subconscious response to growth.
[00:16:48] That will start to allow you to approach things differently. Even knowing that, How much pressure does that take off yourself? How much more neutral can you be with resistance now? How much of the observer can you be with the resistance now? How much more in self are you knowing that resistance is a natural subconscious response to growth?
[00:17:14] We can view it now differently. Rather than just being really fucked off with yourself and frustrated and throwing your bloody toys out of the pram, we can start to approach it differently. Step 2. Obvious Awareness. Really, really create an awareness around the resistance. So, asking yourself, and I've got a couple of other prompts for this as well, Where am I feeling resistance right now?
[00:17:40] Get clear on what it is that you're avoiding. Is it launching? Is it selling? Is it creating a strategic plan? Is it showing up? What is it? And once you've actually identified where the resistance is showing up, you can then start to dig deeper. What am I afraid of here? What is that worst case scenario my subconscious is trying to protect me from?
[00:18:04] What bad things would happen if I actually did this? And really, really understanding that from a deeper level. You can ask questions like, what am I afraid will happen if I move forward with this? What story is my subconscious telling me to keep me in my comfort zone? How does resistance serve me right now?
[00:18:32] How does staying in resistance serve me right now? And if you removed the resistance, what would you have to do? Oh, goodness me. Because all of these questions are going to bring those subconscious fears to the surface, and that's where you can do work on them, whether it's with your, by yourself, whether it's in the membership, whatever that looks like for you, that's where you can start to move forward with.
[00:18:56] Understanding the beliefs and where they're being programmed from. You can start to reframe them. You can start to understand them. And actually, instead of seeing resistance as a reason to stop, you can see it as that opportunity to grow. Because the more resistance I feel, the closer I am to that breakthrough.
[00:19:18] So instead of avoiding it, instead of constantly procrastinating, Lean fucking into it. Lean into it because it is an absolute sign that something huge is on the horizon. Massively. Now, I wanted to, before we kind of close off, really speak into resistance with strategy and kind of that goal setting.
[00:19:45] Because, This is where it comes into play. When your subconscious mind is aligned with your goals, resistance starts to melt away. Now you might be thinking, I'm very aligned with my goals, Rebecca, and I have a lot of resistance. And I will say, yes, listener, you might consciously be aligned with your goals, but actually if you're not doing anything to work towards them, I would say subconsciously, you are not aligned with your goals at all.
[00:20:21] And most people set goals. Most people set themselves up at the start of the year, Q1 baby, here we go. And you'll set the goal, but your subconscious mind is working against you. And it will create resistance at every motherfucking traffic light and turn that you try to take. Because it's not When you can create a clear, strategic plan for your business, let's take you on for example, you're giving your subconscious mind something it deeply craves, that is certainty.
[00:21:02] The subconscious mind loves certainty. It thrives on the patterns, like we've spoke about. It thrives on the predictability, which is why it often triggers resistance when you're stepping into something new and unpredictable. Unfamiliar to you, because without a clear roadmap, your mind feels like it's navigating in the freaking dark.
[00:21:28] And this is why you can grow your business, flying by the seat of your pants, until a certain time where your subconscious goes, I cannot fucking take this anymore, or I can't hold this anymore. Because you are literally trying to run a business in the dark. And that is all. Ultimately with your subconscious going to increase anxiety, it's going to increase hesitation, procrastination, overwhelm, you name it.
[00:22:02] And by creating that strategic plan, you're essentially telling your subconscious, this is where we're going and here is a potential of how we're going to get there. You've moved from the unknown into the known and this gives your brain the certainty it needs to feel safe. And. Resistance comes up a lot because you are unclear with how to get to that next level.
[00:22:28] You are unclear of the steps that you need to take and then the subconscious doesn't support the next level that you want anyway. So it's just one big concoction of resistance. So instead of triggering resistance, You can then start to support your, your progress because it understands the path ahead.
[00:22:52] And this is why it's so important, so, so important that we have both a very aligned intentional strategy and the subconscious alignment too. They have to work in tandem together because when they are together, it's going to allow you to move through resistance with greater ease, with greater focus. It will keep you on track towards your bigger goals without the subconscious pulling you back into that reactive safe space.
[00:23:27] Because without it, your subconscious will default to resistance. There's too much to think about, there's too much decision fatigue, there is too much mental load when you don't have a plan, and you'll find yourself spinning your wheels again and again and again and again, instead of moving towards your goal.
[00:23:48] podcast recently, okay? You can have all the strategy in the world, but if your subconscious is holding you back, that strategy will fall flat. And the reverse is true too. You know, we need that plan. So you're not stuck in dreamland, but we need the subconscious to align with it as well. And that's, that's the magic spot where the resistance starts to fade away.
[00:24:14] So, if you've been in resistance in your business, I want you to know, you are normal. Woohoo! Maybe you don't want to be normal, but it's normal. It's very, very, very normal to feel resistance. I actually want you to start to celebrate it, because it doesn't have to stop you. And actually, it means that you're very close.
[00:24:37] to really uncovering that next level or that next block or that next phase of your life or your business etc. So I want you to go back, I want you to have a look at the prompts, I'll pop them in the show notes as well just so it's easier for you to grab them, really understand where resistance is showing up from, What it's keeping you safe from and try and lean into it.
[00:25:02] Go, okay, resistance. I'm here to fricking listen to you. Like, let me lean into it and start to see the magic unfold. I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode. I will see you on the next one. I love you lots. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So, whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favourite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that juicy 5 star rating.
[00:25:32] These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHaydon. com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!