The Secret Power of Detachment in Business [ep. #206]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you gripping your business goals so tightly that they seem to slip further away? In today’s episode, I'm going to dive into the art of detachment in business and how it might just be the missing piece to achieving your dreams with less struggle. We'll chat about the tricky balance between ambition and the frustration of not yet reaching your goals, and why sometimes, letting go can actually bring you closer to what you want.
You'll learn how detachment can calm your mind, open up creativity, and align your subconscious with your true desires. I’ll guide you through practical techniques to release the grip of attachment and embrace a state of flow and neutrality. By shifting your mindset, you can open yourself to new opportunities and accelerate your journey towards your dreams.
Join me to see how detachment can become your best friend in business, helping you handle the ups and downs of ambition with a bit more ease and a lot more clarity. Don't miss out on this chance to learn something new that could change the way you work towards your dreams.
Topics covered on Detachment in Business:
What is the difference between attachment and detachment?
How does clinging to your goals activate stress responses in your brain?
Why does detachment lead to a state of calm neutrality and enhance creativity?
How can you train your subconscious to lean into detachment in business?
What exercise can help you release the need for control?
How can detachment in business lead to attracting success and opportunities rather than chasing them?
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
"When you let go of that grip and move into neutrality, you create space for your dreams to come in. You're no longer chasing them; you're attracting them." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again, your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
[00:00:26] So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve.
[00:00:30] Hello, my beautiful lady, and welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. Today, we are diving into the art of detaching. Yes, the power of detachment and actually the power in letting go. Thank you. To actually achieve your goals faster, which as a high achiever and a hard worker and wanting to be busy and hustle, we find quite hard to hear, but there is something so powerful in detachment.
[00:01:05] And today I really want to dive in from both As always, a subconscious perspective and a neuroscience perspective for you to understand what's actually happening when we are so fixated and attached to our goals versus when we bring in this detachment and what that can look like for you. Now I know that this is something that Many, many, many of you grapple with, and that tension between wanting something so unbelievably deeply and knowing that you're meant for it and knowing that you're made for it and know it can a hundred percent happen for you, but also feeling the frustration because it, because it is not damn here yet.
[00:01:52] And that frustration, impatience, Overwhelm all the parts that come in really is the difference between attaching and detaching. So in today's podcast episode, we're going to break down what detachment actually really means. We're going to have a look at why it becomes so transformative and actually how you can use the power of the subconscious of neuroscience to bring in a bit of a bit more of a state of neutrality.
[00:02:23] And, and almost ease into your goals, ease into your dreams. That's the dream, right? That neutrality behind things can actually speed up the process of bringing in what you desire. And I want you to really see why holding on too tight while having those kind of palms gripped so tightly on what you want might be the very thing that's blocking you.
[00:02:51] So let's do that. Bloody dive in. Now, before we get going, what I want us to do is actually understand attachment versus detachment. So we are going back to basics here with what do we mean by attachment versus detachment? Because I think there's a lot of people that throw this word, like, you, you've just got to detach from your, you've just got to detach.
[00:03:16] You've just got to detach. You've just got to detach. And actually you're like, but what the fuck? Does that look like and how do I do it? So, attachment, as I see it, is a real mental and an emotional grip around our desires. And it's when we think about our goal and we really feel this attachment. And I'm going to be talking about the word, uh, the word, uh, the word, uh, the word, you'll feel successful when, insert goal, and that energy is Essentially, what it's doing is broadcasting to your subconscious that I don't have this yet.
[00:04:04] That is the message that you are sending it. And the subconscious mind registers that feeling of lack. And what does it do? It reinforces it. So ironically, when we actually cling to the goal more, the more you stay in the loop of not having it again and again and again. Now, detachment, on the other hand, is this feeling of whole and complete and at peace in the present moment, regardless of whether that goal or that dream or that desire Actually materializes and really it's a state of this calm neutrality that sends your subconscious a little message that's saying, I'm enough, I'm enough right here, right now.
[00:05:02] And when you send out that energy, you remove resistance. Now, from a neuroscience perspective, clinging, like clinging onto your goal and the attachment around it, what actually happens is it activates a part of our brain associated with stress. And that's specifically the amygdala, which I've spoke about quite a few times in podcasts.
[00:05:26] Now, when we're in attachment mode, let's call it that, when you're in attachment mode, all of these areas in your mind, in your brain goes into overdrive. And when you believe that you can't be X without it, when you can't be happy without it, when you can't be fulfilled without it, when you're putting this big, massive, imaginary goalpost on what you are trying to achieve, you are going to trigger what is known as the emotional survival mode.
[00:05:59] You become tunnel visioned, you become completely stuck in lack, and your brain sees your goal as something that you must have to feel safe or to feel happy. And actually that survival response, what I see time and time again, is it locks up your creativity, It locks up your problem solving abilities. It locks up the reticular activated system because all you're focusing on is the fact that you don't have it yet.
[00:06:31] So it brings more of that in and it makes it harder to align you with what you are looking for. Now, detachment is like hitting the reset button because when we bring detachment in, It's calming your amygdala and actually brings you into the prefrontal cortex, which is the like rational CEO, creative brain.
[00:06:55] It brings that back online and it signals to the brain, I'm safe, I am safe. And actually in that state, we can access way more. Inspiration, way more clarity, way more ease. And this is where we start to have that collapsing time in inverted commas and quantum leaps, because it's speeding up the process because you have taken away that survival mode.
[00:07:23] That Oh my God, I will only be happy if I have that. I will only be XYZ if I have this and you go back into the prefrontal cortex. So now that you understand a little bit about the brain's response to attachment, I want to talk about why this really blocks your progress from a real subconscious level.
[00:07:46] Now, when you are clinging to an outcome, which I see very, very often, and it is very, very easy to fall into, when you're clinging on to an outcome that you desire, you're actually sending constant, constant, constant signals of scarcity and lack to your subconscious. And your brain is In its cleverness, tries to protect you, and it tries to protect you by filtering reality through that sense of urgency.
[00:08:18] So, like I said earlier, your reticular activated system then looks for proof of what you're lacking, that things are missing. And when you're operating from this scarcity, your subconscious knows. Focuses on all the ways that you are not there yet. All of them, it will seek and find every single one of them.
[00:08:43] And I know that you will resonate with this and what you're doing that there is you are really reinforcing the emotional gap between where you are and where you want to be. When you hold on so tightly to something happening and you believe it's going to happen in that way as well. You're actually clouding your abilities to see opportunities, to see solutions, to see steps that could actually bring you closer to the goal in other ways than you're trying to force right now.
[00:09:18] Your subconscious literally becomes locked into the belief that fulfillment or success is out there. Understand the CAN code more effectively. Hello, if you're new to my channel, welcome to my channel. container. Because we have to have that turned up when you are growing your business, when your subconscious feels safe, when it feels like it doesn't need to control every single detail, that's when it opens up to new possibilities.
[00:10:05] And a lot of the time when my clients have done this work, they have had opportunities and possibilities staring them in the bloody face for so long. And now they can actually see it. Now they can actually see it. So you can really see why this attachment actually grappling onto this goal or desire or dream is actually causing you not only to go into fight or flight, to be in the amygdala, but to also bring in the reticular activated system to focus on the fact that you don't have it yet and all the ways to prove that that is in fact true.
[00:10:46] Which, it might be true, you might not have it yet, but you're not giving yourself a fucking chance to have a look to see any way else of having it quicker, or in a different way. So, um, I wanted to give you a couple of techniques from a subconscious perspective on how we can train your subconscious for that true detachment.
[00:11:08] And you know me, I'm not like, yes, we do affirmations, but I'm not one for surface level affirmations. Like I want to shift your subconscious perspective. And how it perceives reality and actually rewire the patterns and the need and control. Like we want to do that. So the first thing I want you to have a look at is releasing the need and the need of this desire often will stem from a core memory or a very early experience.
[00:11:46] So if you are in a place right now. where you can think about something that you're holding on quite tightly to, or that you want to happen quicker than it is, and you think you're kind of sabotaging yourself in that right now. And if you can, I want you to just close your eyes. And I just want you to take some nice, deep breaths.
[00:12:04] If you can't close your eyes, that's fine. You can still listen to me and do this exercise. Just taking some nice, deep breaths. And I want you to imagine a line, just a nice, straight line or a wiggly line, whatever comes up for you, stretching out before you. Now, this is your timeline, so Whatever it looks like, however you see it, let it be.
[00:12:28] It's your timeline. Now, what I want you to do is I want you in your mind to trace back on this line the first time you felt this intense need or longing as though achieving something outside yourself would complete it. So that intense need or longing that the thing that you really want is going to be the thing that changes everything, that would complete you.
[00:13:03] And I just want you to really observe what emotions are coming up. Sometimes it's fear, sometimes it's insecurity, sometimes it's a feeling of not being enough. Just allow yourself to observe. No judgement. Neutral.
[00:13:22] And now I want you to imagine your current self stepping into that moment. Stepping in and offering comfort and offering reassurance to your younger self and just let them know that they are A whole and worthy exactly as they are. Exactly as they are. Now, whether this is your younger self yesterday, 10 years ago, 50 years ago, whatever that looks like for you, I just want you to let them know how worthy they are exactly as they are.
[00:14:01] With or without this,
[00:14:07] give yourself a moment. And then when you're feeling ready, just bring yourself back into the room. And really starting to see and retrain your subconscious to view yourself as whole and fulfilled now. Because we only have the now. We're always living in that future. We're always living in what we think it's going to give us and how we're going to feel.
[00:14:36] If you start doing X, Y, Z, it's going to make this such a big difference when actually all we can change is the here and now. And more importantly, the thing that we have most control over is our feelings and our thoughts. And sometimes we give that away to experiences or to memories or to things that we've gone through.
[00:15:01] But if we bring it back to us, and yeah, it's a nice to have, but you get to feel those feelings now. And I've spoken about that a lot. Now, the second thing that I want you to do is actually reconcile this inner conflict, because detachment, and I know that A part will have come up while you're listening to this when you go, well, it's all well and good for you to say this, Becky, because XYZ and well, you know, I haven't got it, which means XYZ like there will have been thoughts like that throughout this whole podcast.
[00:15:34] Hello parts. I can see you come on in. We are okay. You are safe. And what I see detachment. Being hard with is because you're dealing with parts of yourself that are in conflict. There's a part that wants control, really, really wants control. And there's a part that really desires that peace, that fulfillment now, that knowing, that trust, that believing.
[00:16:01] And actually, We can align these parts with your conscious self and start to create a bit of harmony together. So I want you to almost picture these two parts, whether this is like fully as characters in your mind or whatever that looks like for you. One may be seeing more as that gripper, that holding on tight, that fist clench, that jaw tighten, that why isn't it here yet?
[00:16:26] The part that believes it's safer to hold on tightly. And then the other part is that releaser, right? Palms open. The part that trusts in the ease, that trusts in you, that trusts that it is going to happen, of course, and actually we can just fucking enjoy ourselves during it. Now, I want you to visualize these parts standing in front of you.
[00:16:51] And I just want you to have a conversation with each of the parts, so I want you to ask each part to share its feelings, let them know, let them know what's going on, let them know that you hear them, I want you to acknowledge them, and often what I find is the gripper, that holding on tight, believes that if it lets go, you can do it.
[00:17:11] That you won't be as hardworking, that you won't be as driven, that it won't happen, or the dream might disappear, or that you won't get there quick enough. That, that, those are the stories of the gripper. And the releaser really knows that detachment will allow things to flow more. It will be more enjoyable.
[00:17:30] You get to feel the feelings now, and you get to enjoy the process and actually open your eyes to opportunities that you didn't even know would ever come. Absolutely exist. So what I want you to do is I just want to let both of them let both of them have a voice and I want you in self to really act as kind of a mediator.
[00:17:51] So I want you to find a bit of common ground between these parts because at the end of the day the gripper They both want the same thing. They both want you to get there, right? They both want you to achieve what you're wanting to achieve. And I really want you to see how they can work together or merge together to create a bit of a balanced self that can hold a tension.
[00:18:16] The intention that can hold it, that can hold you in it, but without clinging onto it. And there might be a bit of resistance. There might be another part that comes in, but I just want you to mediate with them. See what gripper has to say, see what releaser has to say. If you want to call them attachment and detachment, whatever feels good for you and just see if you can bring him a bit of peace and harmony and a bit of a conversation with them, how you can make a griper feel more safe to maybe go on holiday, take a seat, sit back and relax.
[00:18:51] Open the palms and how you can get releaser to be stronger in knowing and trusting and believing in yourself. So really kind of align, aligning them together with a sense of ease, a sense of wholeness, and actually knowing that releasing control is not only safe, but it's bloody empowering. And that can be so, so powerful to just have a moment with your parts, a moment with the parts that come up that are keeping you holding on and gripping so tightly.
[00:19:26] Now, Before we finish, I just wanted to kind of go through a couple of misconceptions about detachment because I hear it so often, you know, detachment means that I'm having to give up, or I'm not caring, or I'm not going to, uh, work hard enough, or, you know, all of these things, all of these stories that come up when you talk about detachment.
[00:19:48] But what actually detachment is, is one of the most empowering states you can reach. And you are putting a story on that if you think it's not true. It's you not caring because it's not saying I don't care. It's saying I trust that I am deserving and that I'm capable of creating this reality. I trust myself to take the action.
[00:20:13] I trust the timing. I trust the opportunities. I am open to that. Now, what, like we know, and like I've said in a couple of podcasts, the subconscious thrives on familiarity. So if you are in constant stress or urgency, it's going to recreate that state, but actually if you start to teach your subconscious to feel safe and to feel at ease with you working towards this and taking the action and aligning your business with the action and making sure that you are doing the needle moving activities.
[00:20:50] The micro steps that are going to reach you there, your subconscious will begin to align with a reality where your goals flow naturally. Honestly, it is the magic of detachment. When you can let go of that grip and you can move into that neutrality, you truly create space for your dreams to come in.
[00:21:14] You're no longer chasing them. You're bloody attracting them. That's what happens. It's happened time and time and time again with myself, with all the experiences I've had over the couple of last couple of years and with my clients as well. So if you find yourself getting caught in that. Anxious bloody attachment to your dreams.
[00:21:34] I just want you to remember today's episode. I want you to go back to the techniques, go back to the kind of release in the route of attachment, go back to those parts, have a speaking with them, but more importantly, train your subconscious to know and to build the trust and the belief and the understanding.
[00:21:54] And the knowing and the capability and the deserving and the timing, it's all of those parts that we want to tap into rather than frustration and impatience and overwhelm instead. I hope you've enjoyed today's episode and I will see you in the next one. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week.
[00:22:16] So, whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favourite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that juicy 5 star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHaydon.
[00:22:47] com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!