Subconscious Basics: Understanding Limiting Beliefs [ep. #207]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are your limiting beliefs holding you back from smashing your goals? Over the next few weeks, we're going back to basics, peeling back the layers of the subconscious mind. This episode kicks off the "Subconscious Basics" series by diving into the nooks and crannies of limiting beliefs, the invisible rules that dictate what you can and cannot do. You might think you know everything there is to know about limiting beliefs, but stay tuned—you might hear something that will blow your mind.
I'll talk about how these beliefs are formed and how they silently shape your life and business. You'll discover how they operate on autopilot, disguising themselves as absolute truths, and learn how to detect them by examining life patterns and emotional reactions. But don't worry, I'm not just here to point out the problem. I'll also share strategies to challenge and reframe these beliefs, helping you pave the way for new, empowering thoughts.
Grab a notebook and a cup of tea as we uncover how to challenge and replace these outdated beliefs with new, empowering ones. Let's get started!
Topics covered on Limiting Beliefs:
What are limiting beliefs and how do they shape your life?
How are limiting beliefs formed and stored in the subconscious mind?
Why do limiting beliefs operate on autopilot, and how can you become aware of them?
What strategies can help you identify and challenge limiting beliefs?
How can you reframe your limiting beliefs?
What role does neuroplasticity play in changing thought patterns?
Journal Prompts on Limiting Beliefs:
What patterns keep repeating in my life?
What do I believe about myself or the situation that might be keeping me here?
What belief might be driving this emotion?
What am I afraid will happen if I act differently?
What do I believe about my abilities?
What’s the earliest memory I have of feeling this way?
Is this belief 100% true?
What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
“When you're not doing something that you know that you want to be doing or that you could be doing, it is usually a limiting belief.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before, and I will say it a hundred times again, your business cannot outgrow your mindset. And if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
[00:00:26] So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello, beautiful lady, and welcome back to the Subconscious Expert. On the podcast over the next couple of weeks, we are going back to basics. Hell yes, we are going back to the very beginning, the subconscious basics, and I really want to peel back the layers of the subconscious mind.
[00:00:53] I obviously know. Everything that I talk about on the podcast is very conceptual to what's going on in the business at that said time. And I use a lot of words, limiting belief, the amygdala, neuroscience, neural pathways, like I use a lot of phrases and, you know, understandings of the subconscious mind, that if you are new to my world or new to subconscious work, or to be honest, just need reminding because you've been in my world that long, I wanted to create somewhere that basically you could go back and go, right, what does she mean by the subconscious mind?
[00:01:32] What are the basics? What am I learning? What do I need to understand? And here we are creating a series called the subconscious basics. And quite frankly, I thought where else best to start than limiting beliefs, because they are the nooks and crannies of all the work that I do with clients and with myself, and actually understanding them.
[00:01:56] And you might be on this podcast being like, Oh, Beck, I already know what a limiting belief is. No, no, no. I want you to stay because you might hear something today that blows your mind of something that you didn't know about a limiting belief. And it could help you find even more to work through, which I think is very, very good.
[00:02:14] So today we are going into. Limiting beliefs, your subconscious beliefs. We're looking at how to detect it. What the hell is it, how it's formed and how it's probably showing up in your life, in your business and what we can do to move through it. So grab a notebook, grab a cup of tea, settle in, let's get bloody started.
[00:02:41] Now we're going to get started from the beginning of what is. A limiting belief. Now, a limiting belief is a very deeply rooted thought or assumption, very interesting word there, or story that's stored in your subconscious mind. And basically, a limiting belief is like a sneaky, sneaky set of invisible rules, that dictate what you can and cannot do, rules that you probably don't consciously agree to.
[00:03:16] Now, the thing is, these beliefs do not walk around with a flashing neon sign that says, Hey, I'm a limiting belief. Come and look at me. What they do is they disguise themselves as absolute truths. And you believe it to be absolute true, subconsciously. And because they operate on autopilot, sometimes, most of the time, you don't even realize they're calling the shots.
[00:03:48] So let me give you an example. Say you've got a belief like, I'm not good enough. The OG belief. You might not walk around saying that out loud. You might, but you might not. Now, that belief is quietly shaping everything that you do. Maybe you hesitate to put yourself forward for opportunities. Maybe you brush off compliments.
[00:04:13] Maybe you're second guessing everything you're doing in your business. And every time you act in alignment with that belief, Like holding yourself back, it reinforces that idea. And it's like your subconscious is saying, yep, yep, absolutely. You were right. We were right. We're not good enough. And it goes round and round and round in a loop.
[00:04:39] Now here's the kicker. Your subconscious. does not and will not question whether this belief is true or not. It accepts it as the goddamn truth and it runs with it. Because your subconscious's job is not to fact check, it's to protect you. So if this belief was formed during a moment where you felt rejected or embarrassed or unsafe, your subconscious filed it back away as a survival mechanism.
[00:05:14] So now every time something feels even remotely similar to that past experience, your subconscious activates the old belief, thinking that it is keeping you safe. Now, these beliefs are not the truth, ever, if I'm honest, with any client that I've ever worked with. They are stories. They are stories that your mind has repeated so many times that it's become your default.
[00:05:48] Now the good thing, you can rewrite them. Because they are absolutely not set in stone. It's just patterns that your mind and your body has practiced over and over and over again. And like any pattern, they can be replaced with something so much more empowering, powerful, and helpful for you. Now, from a neuroscience perspective, limiting beliefs aren't just kind of these abstract thoughts that pop into your head because of a certain experience.
[00:06:22] They are literally patterns of neural connections in your brain. And every time you think a thought, neurons in your brain fire together. Now, when those neurons fire, And they fire repeatedly in the same way, whether that's through self talk, whether that's through repeated experiences, whether that's through bloody reinforced behaviors that you're constantly doing, they create a neural pathway.
[00:06:58] And what I always say about a neural pathway is it's like a well Trodden path in a wood. So for example, if you repeatedly think, I'm not good enough, the neurons that's associated with that thought fire together every time you think that, and every time they fire, they strengthen. So over time, this pathway becomes the brain's default response, meaning that actually, That thought feels so automatic and so true, and a lot of the time it is not grounded in reality.
[00:07:45] And this is why limiting beliefs feel so deeply, deeply ingrained, because they're literally hardwired into your brain. And I'm not sure whether you've done work around this before, but there is a phrase that's always said that That goes, neurons that fire together, wire together. And what that means is the more you engage with that bloody belief, the stronger and the more efficient the neural connections become.
[00:08:17] Literally every time you repeat a belief that's not serving you, a story that's not serving you, a behavior that's not serving you, you are making it stronger as a pathway in your mind. And unfortunately, this efficiency of your brain can work against you when the belief is limiting. Now, it can work with us when the belief is a good one, and we keep thinking of making that one stronger.
[00:08:47] So you, you, you've done pretty well of making your limiting beliefs strong, so we can do very well of making beliefs that serve you better strong too. But, the more we think, the more they fire together, the more they wire together, the stronger it becomes, the more well ingrained the path is. Now, if you have a belief such as, um, I'm not good at public speaking, your brain is going to activate that pathway automatically every time you think about giving a speech.
[00:09:22] It will reinforce all of the feelings of the fear, Avoidance, Sick, Sweaty Palms, and the result is you will avoid public speaking altogether, which further strengths the neural pathways because the belief isn't challenged. Now, whilst some of these pathways are very strong, and I work with very strong pathways with clients, they are not permanent.
[00:09:48] They are not permanent. And your brain, very, very clever, and it's very, very adaptable. And that is thanks to neuroplasticity. You will hear me say that as well in the podcast, but what neuroplasticity means is that you can create new neural pathways by challenging and replacing old beliefs with new empowering ones that serve you better.
[00:10:14] And the more you consciously engage with those new thoughts, the more those patterns will strengthen. This is why I say the brain learns best from repetition, because the more we play in and strengthen the neural pathways of the new belief, the old ones will weaken because you're not thinking about them.
[00:10:30] So they're not firing and wiring together. Limiting beliefs, come on in. So, how are limiting beliefs formed? Now, let's kind of start with the foundation. Your subconscious mind is unbelievably impressionable during childhood. Now, they say particularly from birth to the age of around seven, and the reason why they say that is because at this time, during that time, that kind of slot of your life, your brain is operating primarily in what we call the theta brainwave state, which is the same brainwave state that we go into in hypnosis.
[00:11:17] And what this means is that your mind is From the ages of zero to seven is like a bloody sponge. It soaks up every word, every action, everything you see, every experience that is in your environment. And as children, we don't have the ability to critically evaluate what we hear. So we kind of don't have a filter, what we call the analytical mind.
[00:11:49] That's saying, Oh, that's not true, or that doesn't apply to me, or I don't believe that really. So when you are growing up and when a parent says to you, money doesn't grow on trees, Rebecca, or stop being so big headed. The subconscious mind will absorb that as a fact. It doesn't ask, it doesn't question, it doesn't ponder, it doesn't get curious.
[00:12:18] It doesn't go, is this universally true? Is this what every other person on the planet is thinking and believing? It simply records it and begins shaping your behaviors around that belief. And over time, these statements really form the foundations of your mental programming. Your beliefs about yourself, your beliefs about others, your beliefs about the world, your map of the world.
[00:12:47] Now, think about how much of what you believe today could have been shaped by someone else's words or behaviours when you were a child. Oh, like, did you grow up hearing, you're so clever, or why can't you get anything right? Both are going to have very lasting impact. Now, even if the intention wasn't harmful, and a lot of the time it isn't from parents, caregivers, people that we grow up with and around, sometimes they are, um, and they need to do work for themselves.
[00:13:26] It's not their fault, but your mind is. Is interpreting these messages in its own way, and it creates stories about your worth, about your abilities, and about your potential. So if you grew up herein, you are too sensitive, you might have internalized that, and you might internalize that as it's not sh it's not safe to show my emotions.
[00:13:55] Now as an adult, this then could show up with you, avoiding being vulnerable or demi, like dismissing your own feelings in a relationship. In in work, you can see how we literally put it into your backpack as a kid, carry it all the way through childhood, and then still play it out in adulthood. Now, what I do want to preface is limiting beliefs don't just come from childhood, and I have had this question quite a few times.
[00:14:25] They can form at any point in your life, most of the time, and especially during very, very emotionally charged experiences. And this is because your subconscious mind is always, always looking for patterns to help you survive and to help you avoid pain. for listening. So when something significant happens, whether it literally could have been yesterday, it locks onto the event and it locks onto the emotions that surround it.
[00:14:58] So when you experience something overwhelming or negative or really, really emotionally driven, your brain's amygdala, which is the emotional center, it kicks into overdrive. It flags the shit out of the moment as really important. There is a memory center that stores the event and it will store it in such vivid detail, including the feelings, including the perceived lessons.
[00:15:28] You know, if I put myself out there, I'll be judged. I'm not capable. I don't deserve success. And it will hold onto that. It will hold onto that. So yes, you absolutely can take limiting beliefs on.
[00:16:08] So please, stay tuned. Pfft. The end. And it does that by protecting you from perceived threats. So when a belief forms, your brain ties it directly to your survival instincts. So when you experience pain or rejection or failure, your subconscious creates a belief to prevent you from facing the same threat again.
[00:16:38] So if you were really embarrassed. Because you spoke out in assembly and you got your words wrong, your subconscious might create the belief, I shouldn't speak in front of people. And it will play that out, even though it happened when you were four years old in assembly. And your brain is thinking that it's helping you by avoiding the situations that could hurt you.
[00:17:05] But a lot of these, a lot of these avoidance, a lot of these limiting beliefs are outdated beliefs. But they are still holding you back and they're still keeping you safe every time. So that's kind of how they're formed. I wanna speak a little bit into kind of memory and emotion around beliefs as well, because when something significant happens.
[00:17:33] To you, your brain's amygdala, like I said, flags the event as important and the emotion and emotions that we feel are literally like a highlighter for your brain. So the stronger the emotional charge of an event, the more vividly it will store in your memory. And actually the more likely it is to influence your beliefs.
[00:18:00] And this is why. Negative experiences that you've gone through, like failure, like rejection, they can leave a real lasting impression. Like you could literally tap back into those emotions from the moment that you think about it. And that's why a lot of the time a belief can be taken on past 0 to 7. Like I was saying before, we can make the limiting beliefs stronger through repetition, so they don't just, a lot of the time what I see is when I'm doing this work with clients, beliefs don't just form from kind of one off events, in fact, they're often reinforced over time through repetition and This happens when you repeatedly hear or experience the same message.
[00:19:01] And like I said, every time you think the thought, your neurons in your brain are firing together. And then the more you think and act in that alignment with that belief, the stronger it becomes. You're walking that same path in the wood over and over and over again. And this is why beliefs like, I'm not smart enough, I'll never be successful, I'm not good enough, feel so ingrained because you have practiced them for years, years and years.
[00:19:33] And we need to stop practicing them and understand where they've come from to be able to move through them. So now you know what limiting belief are, what limiting belief is and how they're formed, I want to have a look at the impact.
[00:19:57] Now, your subconscious mind is truly the powerhouse behind your behaviors, and it drives 95 percent of your actions. So it's not something that you consciously control. It's more like an autopilot system that runs in the background. So even if you consciously want something, healthier lifestyle, better relationship.
[00:20:18] A bigger business, your subconscious programming can pull you in the opposite direction without even realizing it. I want you to think about it this way. Your, your conscious mind Might be steering the wheel and it's literally saying, I want to go in this direction, but your subconscious is the engine.
[00:20:41] And if your subconscious is programmed with limiting beliefs, such as, I can't succeed no matter what I do. It'll drive you towards actions, or probably inactions that align with those beliefs. And this is where this internal conflict creates a real sense of being stagnant, frustrated, stuck, can't make progress.
[00:21:06] That's where a lot of people come to work with me in that moment, because It is so frustrating when you consciously know what to do, how to do it, and there is something that's holding you back. And that is your limiting beliefs, whether it's decision making, whether it's relationships, whether it's your self worth, all of them can have such an impact on that and literally create a self fulfilling prophecy.
[00:21:38] So, Now we know, now we know what they are, now we know what they do and how they're formed, I want to look at how to detect them. So the first thing I want you to do is that you're going to have a look at your results. So I want you to literally examine areas in your life, whether it's business, whether it's relationships, whether it's money, whatever you want to do.
[00:22:05] I want you to examine areas in your life of where you feel stuck or where you feel unfulfilled. And I want you to ask yourself, what patterns keep bloody repeating in my life? What do I believe about myself or the situation that might be keeping me here? And what do I keep hearing? So what patterns keep repeating in my life?
[00:22:37] What do I believe about myself or the situation that might be keeping me here? And what do I keep hearing about those patterns or those beliefs? So we're going to look at your results first of all. Secondly, I want you to actually really notice your emotional reaction. Now, like I've said in the podcast, your emotions can really be a direct clue to hidden beliefs because when you feel resistance, when you feel fear, when you feel frustration, what I want you to ask from now on is what belief might be driving this emotion?
[00:23:14] What belief might be driving this emotion? And you can do Step three with this as well, where you kind of pay attention to what you're saying to yourself, because really your internal dialogue is literally a mirror of your subconscious. That's what I do. I am listening to my client's language at all times.
[00:23:39] They probably don't know it, but I am constantly listening to phrases and intonations and the way they say things, because it is a mirror of their subconscious. I'm not the kind of person who can, this is just how I am. I can't do this. You know, all of those phrases, they are going to give you such a powerful insight to what's going on from a limiting belief point of view.
[00:24:05] And then a couple of other prompts. What do I believe about my abilities? What's the worst thing that could happen if I fail? What's the earliest memory I have of feeling this way? So just kind of really understanding what's going on, where you are reacting, the emotions and things that are coming up. And usually when you're not doing something that you know that you want to be doing or that you could be doing, it is usually a limiting belief.
[00:24:37] So how do we start shifting them? The first thing is actually challenging it. The moment that you know what that belief is, sentence, phrase, emotion, challenge it. Is this belief 100 percent true? Is it? Have a little think. Have a little look. And you might have some parts that are like, yes, yes it is. And if you haven't How to dive into parts work yet.
[00:25:04] I do have a podcast on that. I will tag it in the show notes and you can go and have another subconscious lesson, but we're sticking to limiting beliefs over on this one. What evidence do you have that contradicts this belief? Because a lot of the time you are doing things that are contradicting the belief in a good way.
[00:25:22] So I, you know, sometimes I'll have clients that are like, Oh, I'm so bad at making decisions. And I'm like, okay. Well, when was the last time you made a good decision? And they'll tell me and I'm like, Oh, okay. So you, you can actually make good decisions. Is that right? And they're like, Oh, you've got me, you've got me.
[00:25:40] So we want to challenge the belief. The next thing we want to do is reframe it. This is kind of where I come in because you want to create new neural pathways. And with that, we need to understand the belief and why you took it on. We need to understand why that was there and, and why your inner child, the, the, the you at the time felt like they had to take it on as the truth.
[00:26:05] But what we also want to do is we want to take some real learnings from that belief that will allow you to let it go and reframe the belief, you know, create a new belief that is going to create that stronger neural pathway. So how can you reframe it? What would that look like? And a lot of the time, what I say with this is you maybe want step in stone beliefs.
[00:26:32] So instead of like, I'm not good enough, it could be, I'm learning to feel good enough every day, step in stone belief. And then the next thing I would do is actually take really small aligned actions to reinforce that new belief. So if your new belief is, I'm capable, I want you to really start by taking small steps that prove that to yourself.
[00:27:01] Because each action, and this is why I'm always in voxel with my one to ones, each action that you're doing to reinforce the new belief, Is rewiring that brain and it's making the new belief feel more real. We are strengthening the neural pathway. So those are a couple of things that you can do. I'll pop all of the journal prompts that I've popped in today in the show notes.
[00:27:24] You can go back in and look at those. You obviously have subconscious tools. Like I said, hypnosis, timeline therapy, NLP. So if you have listened to this podcast and you're like, by God, okay, yes, I get it. I am holding myself back. Well, my limiting beliefs are I would first start with the membership, the subconscious membership.
[00:27:44] I'll pop all of the details in the show notes, or if you want to move quicker and work with me one to one, I will pop the application form in there as well, but honestly. A lot of the time we do come back to limiting beliefs, when they were formed, how they're influencing you, but now you know how to be aware of them, where they've probably come from, what they're actually doing from a neuroscience perspective, which always feels a lot easier when you can understand that, and then how you can start using a bit of self reflection, emotional awareness, a bit of journaling to move through them as well.
[00:28:23] So I hope you've got a full understanding. I hope you've enjoyed the first Subconscious Basics episode, and I will see you in the next one. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode with me.
[00:28:43] Reviewing the podcast, and of course, ahem, that juicy 5 star rating. These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore RebeccaHaydon underscore, and for the full show notes and more resources, head over to RebeccaHaydon.
[00:29:07] com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!