Sweatpants Season a.k.a the Reason Why You Aren’t Going after Your Goals [ep. #185]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self & I!
Are you stuck in 'sweatpants season,' coasting through your business in autopilot mode but not making any progress toward your juicy 2024 goals? It's time to shake things up, baby! In today's episode, I'll dive deep into the mindset shift that separates the dreamers from the action-takers. I'm here to challenge you to step up as the CEO you're meant to be—not just in title, but in thought, action, and energy.
We'll explore how subconscious reprogramming can take your business to new heights and why strategy alone won't cut it. So if you've been feeling frustrated or stuck, wondering why your goals seem just out of reach, this is the wake-up call you need.
Join me as we uncover the real reasons holding you back and how to break free from the safety of the known. Your next level awaits, and it's more accessible than you think. Tune in now, and let's leave 'sweatpants season' behind for good!
Topics covered on Sweatpants Season:
Major changes are coming to the Higher Self & I in July!
How can you break free from the 'sweatpants season' of comfort and take control of your business?
Dopamine can be both a friend and foe when it comes to achieving your long-term business goals.
How does the brain's reward system impact your ability to stick to your long-term goals, and what strategies can help you overcome these challenges?
Why is trusting yourself as a CEO crucial for navigating through tough times in business, and how can you build that trust?
The subconscious tools that can help you avoid falling back into 'sweatpants season'.
Connect with Rebecca Haydon:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Quote:
“That next level is fully fucking available for you.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Higher Self & I, your go to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one way ticket towards success. I'm your host, Rebecca Haydon, mindset and business mentor, ready to help you unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass CEO who is here to claim her fricking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing? Sign Let's go, baby!
[00:00:49] hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to Higher Self and I, and in fact, the last podcast with the name Higher Self and I, oh my goodness. I am so pumped for what is dropping next week. Yes, July is the month where you are going to see. Some incredible changes around the podcast, and some changes in the business.
[00:01:20] I've literally got goosebumps talking about it. And, I can't wait. I literally cannot wait. I know I've dropped it in a couple of times over the last couple of podcasts, but it really feels like I have created a business, and a space, and a podcast that's almost I almost feel like I've outgrown Higher Self I, and it was ready for this, like Next fricking level.
[00:01:46] And you know that I'm all about the next level, navigating the next level, getting yourself to the next level, not staying in sweatpants season where you are comfortable and cruising in your business, because I know you're a high achiever, I know that you are here for big things, and I follow suit obviously because I walk the walk and I talk the bloody talk.
[00:02:14] So it was, it felt just so right. And I think with going off on maternity leave very soon, it just felt so perfect to align where I'm going. Big picture vision over the next five years to start the chain of events now. So this is the last Higher Self and I podcast. Can we take a moment please? Because the podcast for me.
[00:02:40] It I've still got goosebumps. The podcast for me, I think, is Possibly One. If not the favorite creative project I have in the business. I love Instagram and stories and doing vlogs every now and again, but the podcast for me is such a joy. It is my stage, it's where I get to be the, the person that I want to be.
[00:03:08] Grew up with, you know, visioning for myself, the cameras, the mic, the performer in me comes out. But equally, I get to do it as Rebecca Haydon, and the joy that I get from knowing that people tune in every Tuesday, my absolute OGs who, if you've been here since we launched four years ago, when it was called Women Who Can, What a throwback.
[00:03:35] And every iteration since, and we've been through quite a few iterations since, it truly is just such a joy on seeing people commenting and sharing and the downloads and how it helps you. You know, I have so many people who say it's like this extra coaching session a week and you resonate and you're having these pops of aha moments and it's making you realize things and I just want to.
[00:04:03] Say how grateful I am for you tuning in and watching or listening week to week, or if you, if you're in a full binge of the podcast right now, which I know a lot of people do, it truly means the world because it is the place where I can go way further than a caption ever would, way further than a story would ever let me.
[00:04:26] And actually have a space where I can take the knowledge that I have around the subconscious and NLP and hypnotherapy, all of the work that I do inside the business and strategy, kind of bringing it all together with that, and be able to give you something that's going to help you change. Going to help you change your life, change your business, change your mindset.
[00:04:45] And, yeah, I just wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. So, it will be the last time that you hear me say, Hello, beautiful lady, and welcome back to Higher Self I, because there will be a new name next week. However, I ain't going anywhere. It's still gonna happen on a Tuesday. We have got huge, huge, huge things going on in July.
[00:05:04] Directly for the podcast and for the podcast alone, which is very, very exciting. I just can't wait to take you on this next iteration of Rebecca Haydon. And I know if you've been around since Australia days, you've seen Rebecca Haydon 2. 0 come out. And, you know, we're always constantly growing. And this is my permission to you to be like, go with it.
[00:05:27] Like, if you feel you've outgrown something or if you feel that it's time for a change, go with it. Go fucking with it, because it feels so exciting, and the ability to go with things, and to kind of allow myself to, to ne you know, level up, and to move through, and to feel the fear and do it anyway, has allowed me to really tap into exactly how I want my life to be, not only now, but in the future.
[00:05:57] And I see so many entrepreneurs stay small when astronomical goals are available to them. And I do not want that to be you. Like, I don't want that to be you. I don't want you to get to the end of this year and think, Oh, probably could have done better. Or watch your business besties or quote unquote competitors hit this record breaking month or change something in the business where you were like, I wish I did that, and you thinking, that could have been me.
[00:06:33] And it truly is time to take responsibility and to stop settling. So. Are you ready to make that shift? Are you ready to embrace the mindset of a CEO, do the deep subconscious reprogramming, and watch your bloody results soar? Because it is so, so, so available to you. And it really starts with the Shifting your subconscious mind to attract it.
[00:07:03] Your problem isn't strategy, it's embodying the mindset and the actions and the behaviors and the thoughts and the energy Not at your current level, but a CEO of a business at the level that you want to go to. Where you want to go. And this is truly what I want to talk about today. Because we are pretty much halfway through the year.
[00:07:32] We are. And I know, and I speak to a lot of people who are probably a little bit frustrated, upset, annoyed, at themselves, because I think you come to a place in your business where the awareness is, it is me that's holding myself back right now, and the frustration and the upset that you haven't hit your goals yet.
[00:07:57] But at the same time, and, Sprinkling this with a bit of kindness, have you actually changed anything in how you're showing up for and operating your business today versus in January, versus six months ago? Or are you just expecting the same mindset and the same input to get you to where you want to go?
[00:08:20] The multi five figure months, on repeat, sustainable, the speaking, the, the speaking gigs, the hiring the team, the focusing more on what lights you up, the creating viral content, the product suites, the travelling whilst making money, like all of these things, a lot of the time we make the plans, right? But we don't execute them.
[00:08:44] And it's not that you're not driven, and it's not that you're not ambitious, and it's not that you don't want it. It's, it's actually just a part of our natural behaviour to keep ourselves safe in what we know. To keep yourself in what we've coined, in my world, The Sweat Pant Season, which means being comfortable and doing the same things and expecting different results.
[00:09:13] And I wanted to, first of all, kind of tell you a little bit of what's going on with this, because it is frustrating when you make these vision boards or you write the things down and then you're like, Fucking hell, six months has gone. Maybe I've done a little bit to move towards it, but I keep getting in my own way.
[00:09:31] Like, I can't, like, if, if Three people say that to me every day. A hundred people say that to me every day. I don't even know if that's the phrase, but I've got to go with it. But it literally is. I have so many people inquire to work with me and they say, Bec, I know it's myself that's stopping me. And I wanted to talk a little bit into kind of the neuroscience of why that is.
[00:09:54] So the first thing that I see is really connected with our brain's reward system. So, this is dopamine, which we all know. And dopamine plays a real crucial role in motivation, which we know we cannot rely on in business, the goal directed behaviour, all of those things. So when we set goals, for example, you set a goal.
[00:10:20] At the beginning of the year, you make the plan, you get a really fucking big dopamine boost, which makes us feel good, it makes us feel motivated, it makes us feel woo hoo hoo! But actually, the execution of those plans often require sustained effort and delayed gratification. A. J. No immediate dopamine reward.
[00:10:50] And the anticipation of the reward, I see this all the time, the anticipation of it, of the reward, can be more satisfying than the hard work, the intentional work, the sustained habits, the shifting of beliefs and thoughts to actually achieve it. So you set these goals, the brain reward system works, the dopamine hits, we get the motivation, but actually what we need to be focusing on more than dopamine is the sustained effort and the being okay with delayed gratification, which is very hard in this time.
[00:11:32] That we live in. Because everything is not delayed. Gratification. We can access things very quickly. From the money in our money apps, from TikTok, like, anything you want to learn, anything you want to know. We do not have to wait for a carrier pigeon to bring it to us anymore. We can literally find out within a second, right?
[00:11:54] So we are in, and almost programmed as a society, to have this instant gratification. And, sometimes, in business, it is going to be delayed, because you are going to have to stack your success, stack your work, stack your content, stack your showing up, stack your selling, to a point where you can then receive, yes, the gratification, the dopamine hits, etc.
[00:12:24] But it's what you're doing when you are not receiving the dopamine that really fucking counts. It's what's happening when people aren't buying, when people aren't clicking on your content, when people aren't saying yes. That's the time that it matters. And actually, relying on dopamine alone, Relying on motivation alone, without systems in place, without habits in place, without this kind of solidified subconscious mindset in place, is going to make you keep going back to the goal, slightly changing it, have dopamine hit for about a week, fall off the bandwagon, go back, get it for a week, fall off.
[00:13:01] Like, we're just, you're just in this constant cycle, and you do it so often that you've then trained your brain that that's what you do. I know. I can see it happening to you. So one of the things that we see that keeps us safe is the lack of sustained effort and being okay with delayed gratification, which is why I say patience is one of the biggest things I had to learn in business because sometimes things take a while to land or your audience needs to be more educated on what you're launching.
[00:13:33] There's a lot of things where we have to have patience in business. And that comes down to the subconscious belief that it is going to happen for you and you are on the way and the universe is meeting you halfway and how can you sustain that patience? The second thing that I see is the prefrontal cortex, that executive little CEO of our brain.
[00:13:57] And it is responsible for the executive functions such as planning, decision making, impulse control. I've spoke about it a lot on the podcast. However, this part of the brain requires quite significant energy and effort to function. Now, when we're placed and faced with challenges, on the way to our goal, our brains will either default to conserving the energy or slip into the amygdala, which is your fight or flight.
[00:14:36] And when you're in the amygdala, the thick of the amygdala, when you're in the thick of your thoughts and feelings, the prefrontal cortex cannot switch on. We can't make decisions as clear as we would if we're just in the prefrontal cortex. And the conserving of energy, the avoidance that I see, especially if these goals that you've mapped out for yourself or the thing that you really want can feel quite quote unquote heavy because of maybe the belief system that you have behind it or potentially the amount of work that needs to go into it, so you just default to doing the tasks that you find easy.
[00:15:20] And I have so many clients who do work hard in their business but they're working hard on tasks that feel easy, which sounds backwards, but if you know, you know. You know, I used to have this with Voxer. I was like, Voxer was my go to easy task in the business, because I knew I could go in there, I could get instant gratification, because I've helped the client, but then I was in Voxer all day and not doing any of the other work that I needed to do in the business.
[00:15:47] Hence, the boundaries that I have in place. And this kind of, In and out of the amygdala and the stories that you're telling yourself and not being able to play into the prefrontal cortex, which is where your, where self lives. If we look at parts work that I do in the business, that is where self lives.
[00:16:06] Calm, curious, confident, capable, creative. I've spoke about this a lot. And actually when we're in the kind of planning and the decision making, which you need when you're moving towards your goals, because otherwise you then just start doing the same things week in, week out, day in, day out. And you don't have, like, a, okay, this is the goal that I'm setting, what do I need to be doing today to work towards it?
[00:16:29] Goes back to the instant gratification, delayed gratification, et cetera. The third thing that I see is, what I've talked about, is the fear and the fear. The amygdala. So, the amygdala is really involved in processing emotions such as fear and anxiety. And when we step out of our comfort zone, when we step out of sweatpants season, to execute the new plans that's going to take us to the next goal, that's going to take us to that next juicy level of ours, the amygdala can trigger the fear response.
[00:17:08] Now, the fear might be fear of failure, a lot of the time uncertainty, even more of the time success, and subconsciously what happens is your brain is perceiving the unfamiliar, the goal that you really want, even though logically you know you really want it, but subconsciously your brain is perceiving that unfamiliar as a threat.
[00:17:35] So that then leads to self avoidance. To maintain a sense of safety, I must get back into my sweatpants. I love this analogy. Um, and it's through subconscious work to make you feel okay of that next level that's going to help you sustain the next level and not fall amygdala. The fourth thing I see is habits.
[00:18:02] Our brains are really wired to create and follow routine because it requires less cognitive effort and when we implement new plans we are essentially, what we've talked about already, we're We are essentially having to break old habits to form new ones. which can be challenging because it requires a lot of mental energy and persistence.
[00:18:37] Now, if all of your mental energy is going into the fight or flight response, decision fatigue, overthinking, playing into your limiting beliefs, you are going to have no mental energy to stick to new habits that you want to bring in. The subconscious mind really, really prefers the path of least resistance, I say it all the time, and it will stick to familiar routines.
[00:19:03] Which is why, if you are not keeping up with the subconscious work, if you are not maintaining the subconscious work, you probably will fall back into old patterns. You probably will fall back into old beliefs and old stories. It's the maintenance that keeps you in that new pathway and grows the new pathway, but equally, When we're putting new plans in, maybe a new way of doing social media, a new way of showing up, a new way of selling.
[00:19:29] Whatever it is that's going to help you get towards your goal. It's going to require cognitive effort, and I think that's where everyone goes wrong with subconscious work. And I saw this so often when I used to work in weight loss, and I did hypnotherapy for weight loss. Because everyone thought I was gonna wave my magic fucking subconscious wand and then, then not have to do any work.
[00:19:55] Like, Becky can rewire my subconscious mind, I can go about the way I used to go, nothing needs to change. Absolutely not! This is why I specifically say that you have to be an action taker to work with me. I specifically say that you have to be okay with being uncomfortable. I specifically say that you That the subconscious requires you to put the work in, and if my client is not putting the work in, they do not get the results.
[00:20:24] It's as simple as that. And actually, kind of really looking at that, like, the subconscious work is work, but the way it pays off in your life is 100 million times more beneficial and more positive than the pain of putting the work in. And I really can tell the clients who put the work in, from a subconscious perspective, and are constantly cognitively putting the effort in, to the ones who don't.
[00:20:57] And it is literally as simple as that, because Creating new habits, changing old beliefs, bringing in a new way or a new system of doing things requires cognitive effort. And if you can't display A bit of self, um, trust, and a bit of like, yes, I'm gonna fucking do this for myself, because I actually really want it.
[00:21:23] If you can't display that, then don't have a business. Because it really does take effort to shift your subconscious mind, but it is so fucking worth it. It is so worth it. And, um, It is, it is work. It is hard work to shift out of beliefs that you've had for 20, 30, 50 years. I completely get it. It's uncomfortable, it's vulnerable, it's You navigate a lot when we do the work, and that's why I love longer term containers, because I hold my clients so unbelievably powerfully in them.
[00:21:59] But it really does take that cognitive effort, and if you're not willing to put in the cognitive effort to change, you will never change. Wow. Ted, talk over. Goodness me. The last thing that I see when it comes to not sticking to your goals is the lack of immediate feedback, and this kind of goes into that, um, dopamine motivation hit.
[00:22:24] Now, immediate feedback, immediate external validation, is a very fucking powerful motivator. We know that. We know that as humans, and I think it is more than okay to have it as well. However, long term goals, plans, goals that you're putting in, especially long term ones, They lack immediate feedback, or actual visible process, uh, progress sometimes, and what happens is it actually makes it harder for our brains to stay engaged and motivated because we are naturally drawn to To activities that provide this quick, tangible results, which is fine, and we can put those into our week to week so we can literally keep hitting that dopamine reward, but actually you need to become okay with it.
[00:23:20] The lack of immediate feedback, the lack of visible progress, and this again comes down to the patience, more than anything it comes down to the trust within yourself and the trust that it will happen to you. And again, this is where we see things go wrong because the lack of immediate feedback then makes you stop trusting in yourself, which then makes you stop believing in yourself.
[00:23:43] It is a, a concoction of a cocktail, it really, really is. And all of these I feel like, I feel like I'm a little bit sparse today girls. She's got a sparse margarita out but it really is just an eye opener for you to show you that you can be hitting your goals, to show you that you can be in it for the long game, you can be in it to sustain success and actually just knowing these things sometimes you go, oh, Yeah, I mean, who am I kidding?
[00:24:18] And I've been there, like, I've been there. I have fucking been there. And still slip into the complacency sometimes, still put the sweatpants on, and that's okay. But when you are the type of person that you are, which I know you are because you're listening to this podcast, I know you want more in your life, and I know that you're capable of doing it.
[00:24:39] And it really is just so powerful to see My clients step into their next level and that's something that I really want to help you in as well to step into that next level and sustain it and it's coming from your It's coming from your subconscious, it's coming from the neuroscience of our mind, and understanding that, and knowing why you're behaving the way that you're behaving, or knowing why you're doing the things or not doing the things, is, is literally the key to your success.
[00:25:09] And with this all in mind, the biggest mindset shifts I see my clients unlock to hold this sustained focus, to not rely on motivation, to not rely on external validation all the time, this comes down to a couple of things. The first thing, I've said this before, trust. Trusting themselves as a CEO, as a business owner, but trusting them in general.
[00:25:41] Like the trust you have for yourself that this is going to happen for you, that your success is inevitable, all of the big affirmations that we hear in the industry, but it really is true. It does really come down to the trust because you have to hold the trust for yourself and for your success and for your vision board even through the really shit times of business.
[00:26:09] The decision making, the launches, the what to go ahead with, the what to not do, the what to say, when to say no to clients that don't align with you, the setting the boundaries in the business, the, you know, everything that happens in business, it comes down to the trust in yourself. Like, not only for you to trust the decisions that you're making, but trust that it's gonna fucking happen for you.
[00:26:33] I see so many people fall because they don't trust that it can happen for them. And I really don't want that to, to, to be your reality, I really don't. Second thing is responsibility, like feeling empowered to have more responsibility in the business because subconsciously you've done the work to create the foundations to hold it.
[00:26:56] So you can commit to taking the action without burnout and resistance and really step into that next level CEO, which gives you safety in the structure. Not sabotaging yourself because of the lack of external validation maybe at this, you know, at this time in your business or, you know, allowing yourself to find the flow in the structure.
[00:27:16] Again, that prefrontal cortex, your creativity. And then the last thing is the belief in self. The belief of, like, of course. Of course. I say this to my clients all the time. Like, when they message me with a win, I'm like, of course you fucking had this win. Like, of course you can do that. Of course this has happened.
[00:27:37] Of course you can. Because I know they can, I see it within them, and Inside my world, I make you see it too, because I spent a lot of my life not seeing what other people saw of me. And it was such a hindrance to my success. Still slip it back into it every now and again, which I get called out by Jackal, you know.
[00:28:01] When I'm in it. Um, but, to be able to, like, stand in the belief of yourself, in the belief of what you're doing, in the belief of what you want to create, in the belief of your business, in the belief of the money you want to earn, whatever it is, It's just the most powerful, and the most successful people believe.
[00:28:20] I always used to wonder this in the performing arts industry, I'm like, how are they getting where they are? Because they're no more talented than I am, they're, they haven't got anything that I haven't got. How are they getting there? It's because they believed in themselves. So if you've taken anything from today, I want you to know that that next level is fully fucking available for you.
[00:28:45] It's fully available for you and you will go into it and back out of it. Hell, we're here for sustainability in my world and this is what it's all about. The sustainability of the next level, continuous growth, because you have it. Subconscious tools, programs to both pain and do. We'll see you on the podcast.
[00:29:11] She's not, um, but thank you for joining me today. I love you so very much. And if you are ready to do the work, power up. My subconscious mini mind is the absolute place to start. You've already heard me talk about it in the ad, in today's podcast episode, but if you want to go to that next level, and subconsciously work through the four areas, that is your starting point.
[00:29:42] I couldn't bang on about it enough. The last round that I did was very, very difficult. Out of this world, the breakthroughs, the aha moments, the realizations that then went on to change people's business and lives, it was insane. So, I'll hopefully see you there. Mwah! Bye for now!
[00:30:02] Your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast. So if you have enjoyed the episode today, Please make sure that you are sharing or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear holes. Now if we're not connected on Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore.
[00:30:28] Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!