I'M PREGNANT! How I Navigated the First Trimester & Business [ep. #167]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self & I!
Yes! You read that right! I'm pregnant!!! I'm so excited to finally share it with all of you. You have no idea how hard it was to keep it a secret!
So today's episode is all about what's been happening behind the scenes and how I navigated the first trimester and business. Spoiler alert: it was horrible! You'll hear the real deal on the tough parts, like dealing with tiredness and depression while running my business. I'm also chatting about the magical moment Jack and I decided to grow our family and the surprise Christmas gift of finding out we were going to be parents.
This isn't just a pregnancy update though; I'm sharing my top tips for handling big life changes without dropping the ball in your business. So whether you're expecting, planning a family, or just facing your own life shake-ups, this episode is full of stories and strategies that'll help you through. So grab a cuppa, get cozy, and let's dive in!
Topics covered on Navigating the First Trimester & Business:
What's been happening behind the scenes at Rebecca Haydon Headquarters?
How was the first trimester, and what did I struggle with most?
What strategies did I use to navigate the first trimester and business?
Did my pregnancy change any business plans?
What will happen to my business when the baby is here?
What advice do I have for you for navigating the first trimester and business?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
Connect with Bec:
Quote:
"Trimester one has been probably one of the hardest month and a half of my life so far." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Well, hello there, my beautiful podcast listeners. Oh my goodness, this feels so strange, but welcome back to Higher Self & I, a little bit of a different podcast episode today, because yes, if you haven't seen already, Tuesday the 13th, I announce that I am pregnant! Oh my god, I cannot tell you how long I have wanted to say that.
[00:00:33] How long I've wanted to tell you, how long I've wanted to share. Trimester 1 has literally been probably One of the hardest month and a half of my life so far. I'm going to get into all the juicy details. It was probably on par with the hardness of the breakup, if I'm honest. Um, and I know obviously episode 100 was the big announcement of the life change and meeting Jack.
[00:01:03] And then you've been on the journey with me pretty much since episode 100. And now we're like on episode, what? A hundred and like 67 or 60. So there's been quite a lot of episodes in between and I actually just wanted to do a bit of a podcast on how I have really navigated not being able to tell you this big secret because it has been really hard and I am so glad that I've had things set up in the business and I'm going to be getting into each of these today.
[00:01:35] to really allow me to take a bit of a step back the last month and a half because I've really needed it and I have so many questions and I think regardless of whether you relate to being pregnant or you relate to this story here. I have so many questions from people that ask me how to navigate life and business.
[00:01:59] Like when life is lifing, when tings be happening, how, how are we navigating that and still showing up in the business? Now to me. I felt like the last kind of month and a bit, I haven't showed up the way that I usually show up. However, on kind of talking to a few people who have known since pretty much I found out, they've been like, Bec, you literally couldn't tell, your energy's still been great.
[00:02:23] So, I do a very good job at being able to have life happen, to have things happen, to be navigating huge Emotions, and by God, have I been navigating huge emotions. Hormonally, more so than anything, um, but to be able to still show up in my business, show up for my clients, which I definitely have been, and actually show up for the life that I'm creating, more so than anything.
[00:02:49] And so I just wanted to do a bit of an open podcast where I talk about the last month, kind of talk about the pregnancy, talk about all the questions that are probably going to come my way. Once I announce it, [00:03:00] I haven't yet announced it. I have prerecorded this podcast episode, but I know when I'm going to announce it, which is the 13th of February, because that is our 12 week scan day.
[00:03:10] So we get the kind of thumbs up to tell the world. Um, and from then, obviously the podcast will be out, I think the Tuesday after. So, you are now the Tuesday after I've announced. So, let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start. So, as you know, me and Jack met in July of 2022, and the moment that we met, we both knew that this was it forever.
[00:03:38] And that little phrase, you know when you know, we both had that, and we both knew That no matter what we had to go through, no matter how hard it was going to be, that we were so committed to us together, to a life that we wanted to create together, that would, we, we would go through anything. And by God, we did.
[00:03:59] I've spoke about this a couple of times in a couple of different podcast episodes. And look, if you're new to the podcast and you don't know the whole story. please check out episode 100. It does explain everything. But we kind of knew. So creating a family, having a life together, getting engaged, being married, you know, all of the things that you do when you find the one, was always a conversation that we'd have, always something that we'd get really excited about.
[00:04:25] And we had started having the conversation. about having babies, about having children. It's something that I've always wanted. I think anyone who knows me really, really well will know how motherly I am. If you've ever met my mom, Mama Jules, as everyone calls her, she is the most motherly mother you will ever meet in your life, and that's what I was brought up with.
[00:04:49] And so I just knew, following in her footsteps. steps that motherhood was something that I wanted to experience. That was definitely something for me. And quite frankly, I know I have, I'm not there yet. Um, I'm due around the 23rd of August of this year, 2024. Um, so we're kind of still not set on the date till.
[00:05:11] The, the first scan, the first proper scan, but I know that when baby comes along, like I am going to blossom and I think so many people have said that and I, I really, really do believe and, and see that for myself. So children has always been a conversation that me and Jack have had and I think the older I was getting, which is a bit of societal pressure, the older I was getting, the more I was a little bit like, oh, the clock is ticking.
[00:05:40] And that's how it felt. Look, it's a belief of mine that I probably don't need to play into, but equally, kind of on reflection, I didn't want to be a lot, a lot older than I am now. I'm 31 now. I didn't want to be a lot older than I am now to have my first baby. And I think that's kind of looking at how old I want mom and dad to be, to be [00:06:00] grandparents.
[00:06:00] How old I want to be when they're a certain age, you know, when you kind of track track of the dates So we really had a conversation that we were ready, you know that we felt ready and this kind of happened Probably September time. We really started to talk about it And I think especially with bringing, you know, having Amelia in our life, which is Jack's sister's baby our niece and goddaughter and kind of having her in our life and looking after her and you know we've looked after her on our own quite a lot taking her to soft play i know i share it on my stories all the time like she's a huge part of our life and i think it made jack c more than more than me but jack c kind of How ready we are, how ready he is, how ready I am and kind of that natural next step for us as the next chapter of our life.
[00:06:55] So we'd had the conversation and we kind of left it at that really and I massively track my period so I use the natural cycles app, well I did use the natural cycles app, so I knew when ovulation was, I knew where I was. In my period, like, on my cycle, and so we said and decided that we'd start trying in December.
[00:07:20] Now, yes, the baby is not going to be called Manhattan, but yes, the baby was conceived in New York. That might be a little bit too much information for you, but everyone's guessing, and everyone is saying to me, Are you gonna call the baby New York? So, we decided, and obviously, the, you know, through many, many stories and through many, many friends and experiences, I did not have in my head that it would happen first time, you know, it wasn't something that I was like, okay, this definitely could happen.
[00:07:52] You usually don't hear it happen a lot because you hear a lot of the stories of how long it's taken and how difficult it can be to conceive, et cetera. But because we'd never been in a position to try, I was like, well. Let's have a go. What's the worst that can happen? And, you know, whatever would happen from there, I would obviously do whatever we needed to do for me to be able to conceive.
[00:08:15] So when we got to New York , um, we then got engaged, which I was half, I half knew was happening. Half Jack literally played the best game in the world, was the best actor I've ever seen. The most calm, nonchalant. Casual guy I've ever seen before a proposal. You know the films you watch when they're literally a blubbering mess and nervous and like, can't string a sentence together.
[00:08:40] He was letting me go in his bag, he was, you know, like, really casual about everything. There was nothing in there that was giving me, I'm gonna propose to you vibes. So I actually started to believe that He wasn't proposing. In fact, I was 99 percent sure that he wasn't going to. He played such a good game.
[00:08:57] So well done, Jack. I love you. [00:09:00] And when we got engaged, we'd obviously been trying over the whole of New York and we got engaged on the Wednesday. And actually from getting engaged, I was a little bit like, okay, I kind of feel good. Like we can live in this engagement bubble. I'm okay if it doesn't happen this month.
[00:09:17] Um, we'll just keep on trying. So. The 23rd of December rolls around and I was due on on the 20th and I'm usually like clockwork 27 to 28 days I will come on so I know kind of from 29 days I'm like okay let's give it a go. Did the pregnancy test at Hannah's house because we were actually looking after Amelia.
[00:09:43] The day before so we went and looked after Amelia stayed over And then was at theirs because we had like meals and stuff It was christmas and we were walking back from the pub and hannah was like, so What's the lowdown? Where are we in it all and I was like look i'm like a couple of days late. I haven't come on yet.
[00:10:02] Um But I just haven't had chance to buy a pregnancy test because it was Christmas, there was a lot going on. And she lo and behold had a pregnancy test in her house, which obviously was from, um, when, you know, when they were trying for Amelia. And I did the test upstairs and boom, it read pregnant. So I actually found out on the 23rd of December, which was a bit crazy because then the whole concept of Christmas completely changed for me.
[00:10:33] And if you've watched me on social media, you know how much I'm partial to a glass of Malbec and how much I love a little cocktail every now and again. So it was a little bit of a shift, a real big, a real big change of how, um, Of, of my life in a very short amount of time over one of the biggest kind of festive periods that we have in the year.
[00:10:58] And It was actually Hannah that found out first because Hannah's got three floors to her house So I we always stay in one of the rooms upstairs on the third floor I'd come down and Hannah was sitting on the bed literally ready and waiting And I showed her the test and then I called Jack up and Jack was obviously the next to know So we were like in a bit of this bubble.
[00:11:20] I didn't tell anyone apart from my mom And I actually messaged her, she was out shopping with my dad, and I messaged her saying, are you ready for August? And she was like, what the, what the hell do you mean, am I ready for August? And then I sent her a picture of the pregnancy test, um, and she was obviously over the moon and delighted and trying to like hide it because we just didn't want to say everything to everyone because Christmas was the day after, and literally all our family, my family and Jack's family.
[00:11:48] were together on Christmas day as well. So, yes, that's kind of how it all unfolded. Christmas day was very weird. I had to keep, um, I [00:12:00] had to keep going out to the garage to fill my glass up with Zero alcohol red wine and zero alcohol Prosecco y type champagne. Literally no one blinked an eyelid, but they definitely would have blinked an eyelid if I didn't drink.
[00:12:16] So, I made sure I kept up that appearance. It literally I mean, I sound like an alcoholic right now. I'm I'm not. A hundred percent not. I just really do like a glass of red wine. So After Christmas, we had that little bit of time in between where I was trying to get my head around things and I think the pressure then started and I think this is kind of where I went into a bit of a colossal identity crisis, if I'm quite honest.
[00:12:45] Because the pressure of having the business exactly the way I wanted it to be pregnant and to have the baby started to feel very, very real. And I had spoken about it. I'd spoken to my coach Bridget about it. This was prior to knowing that we were pregnant. I knew exactly what I wanted to create this year.
[00:13:06] I knew exactly where I wanted to go. Power up was one of the starting points in that and how I wanted the business to be moving forwards. Um, kind of really scaling back the one to ones, etc. So I really started to I really started to kind of map out what I wanted that to look like. However, trimester one is not a great time to be mapping or creating anything.
[00:13:35] Anything. And you hear all these stories about trimester one, and most of the stories about being sick and having morning sickness, which I cannot believe I'm about to say have had zero. sickness, zero morning sickness at all. However, what I have had is the most insane amount of tiredness and my hormones have literally made me a crazy woman.
[00:14:07] And for me to be really aligned with what I'm talking about, with what I'm selling, to be embodied, I have to do the work. And I always have done. Anyone who has followed me for a long time, anyone who has been my client, anyone who sees me behind the scenes knows how embodied I am with the things that I am teaching, with the things that I am selling, with the things that I'm creating.
[00:14:32] And what I've really found hard during trimester one. Is that my thoughts and feelings have been that hormonal that it's almost like there is nothing wrong, you know, I'm setting up the business I'm still signing clients I'm still having like this like nothing on face value has been quote unquote wrong or disastrous or bad, but The anxiety [00:15:00] and probably a little bit of depression that I've felt over the last month and a half has been next level and I've really struggled to be able to show up in the way that I show up because I haven't been able to share it.
[00:15:16] Now I am pretty much an oversharer and I will share anything. Quote unquote, I've just shared with you conceiving in New York, however, not being able to kind of back up the way I'm feeling and how I am getting through it has been really hard and I think it's been a really beautiful testament to myself to know how open and to know how much I do share with you and how much I do, you know, navigate things.
[00:15:47] Obviously, I always navigate behind the scenes and then I'll tell you. How I've navigated it. But to not be able to tell you this has been horrendous. Like, it's, I've really, really struggled. And I think, like, that's why I haven't been vlogging, because literally, Trimester 1 has taken over my days. I have never been so tired.
[00:16:07] There's been a lot of push and a lot of resistance on my identity. Because I'm such a hard worker, because I'm such a doer, because I'm so in the masculine, because I'm so Because I love what I do so much and I want to do it so often, it has been really hard, really difficult to actually sit and rest, and it has been a big lesson that I have been working on this since 2021.
[00:16:38] I really have like the feminine side, that kind of palms open, relax, have the space, have the time. I have been working on that. I really, really have. And I've got so much better, especially in 2023, because I was creating a life that I wanted. I didn't want my business to be the be all and end all of everything that I did.
[00:17:01] I was creating a life with Jack. I was creating a life with my family again. And so I did take time off. I have put really, really strong boundaries in place and I do really stick to them. However, being forced, physically bodily forced, to not be able to do the things in the way that I do them has been really challenging.
[00:17:20] So I've been doing a lot of work in abling myself to process that, to be able to sit. in that discomfort to be able to sit in the fact that I can't clean both the bathroom, the kitchen and the living room at the same time. I haven't been able to do the things that I usually do or show up in the way that I usually do, especially with the power and the energy that I show up in, the sunshine energy that I show up in, has been really, um, Has been a real lesson for me, and I think that's the first thing that I want to speak about is that kind of shift [00:18:00] in Identity that's happened in kind of over January obviously found out the 23rd of December I didn't come back to work properly until the first week of Jan and And I'm literally coming out of trimester one this week praise the blessed Lord Because I've heard a lot of people say that trimester two is just beautiful and energetic and stunning and really fun.
[00:18:25] So I can't wait. However, that was one of the first very big things that I really had to adjust to, I really had to understand. And the way that I got through it was, one, being really uncomfortable. I spent a hell of a lot of time being uncomfortable the last month. And in every sense of, every form. No, wait, what's the phrase?
[00:18:51] Every sense of the word, because uncomfortable in my body, uncomfortable because I felt nauseous, uncomfortable because I literally last week ate grapes and three potato waffles for my dinner. Like, it's been very uncomfortable in the way of my life and how I'm living it right now has changed. Um, but equally uncomfortable because I've had to stop being Miss Independent, which is a massive part of who I am and I think a very valuable and incredible part of who I am.
[00:19:23] Um, however, I've really had to lean on people over the past month and especially my team who have been absolutely amazing. And I'm so grateful that my business, my structures, my systems, my strategy was in place in order to lean on them. Because if I didn't have that, the energy that I've had has filled my clients and it has filled me still showing up consistently on social media, but I've not had the bandwidth to do anything else apart from that.
[00:19:58] So we'd actually mapped out in Q1. that after Power Up, I would then go into the launch of a free masterclass, which would then go into a launch of the Mastermind, which is launching currently. And I made the decision, um, because the masterclass was actually supposed to be a couple of weeks ago. And I made the decision to change the date.
[00:20:26] And the reason why I made that decision is because I, like I said, I'm so fully embodied in what I do. I love to share with you, I love the open relationship I have with my community. I love the fact that everyone is hanging off my every word and actually not being able to tell you this, not being able to share this with you, not being able to share this experience and get excited with you.
[00:20:53] Has felt really hard and it felt so hard that it started to feel so unaligned that I couldn't tell [00:21:00] you that I was like, there's no way that I can do a launch right now, there's no way that I can energetically show up in the way that I want to show up. So I decided to move the date back, everything is ready, everything is set, but I've decided to move the date back and we will be in launch, um, Will we be in launch?
[00:21:20] Yes, we'll be in launch the day that this podcast goes out. So, it's, it's really exciting because I will have announced it. I will be taking people with me, making you guess if it's a boy or a girl, you know, doing all those incredible things, but really taking you on the journey as well, bringing the vlog back, um, kind of being more open with how I want life to be and what I see that happen, you know, what I see happening.
[00:21:43] But yes, that has been probably one of the biggest battles that I've had within myself is still feeling aligned enough to show up and be consistent with that. And obviously I've still had clients coming in. I've still had people, um, joining power up. I've still had people coming in, which is incredible and a real testament to the dedication and commitment that I've already put into the business.
[00:22:08] But equally knowing that the moment that I share this with everyone and the experience. And the passion and the story that I get to tell with this is going to really catapult me into what I want the next level to look like as well, which will be really, really fun and I'm still navigating that. I'm still navigating how I want it to be.
[00:22:27] And I do have a plan for maternity leave, which everyone's asking me about, but I equally want to kind of take you with me on that. I've got a lot of people right now who. Maybe are thinking about having a baby and are a little bit like wow How the hell do I do this with my own business? I was definitely there and I want to be that person that you can lean on and equally I want you to be able to take things from me that you know might not resonate with being pregnant But it might Resonate with taking time off from the business or giving yourself more time or putting in more boundaries because that's, you know, it's going to be a lot of the things that are happening over the next couple of months.
[00:23:07] So I'm very excited to see where this year takes me. Obviously August is the due date, end of August, kind of going into September. is the due date. We're kind of looking at the 23rd of August. And I really want the business in such a really strong foundational, it already is, but even stronger than it is now, less reliant on my one to one containers, which is something that I've talked about quite openly and spoke about in the fact that.
[00:23:36] I want to start really, um, uh, what's the word? I can't think of the word. I want to start really shifting my business structure. So one to one is still a big part of that, but it is as big of a part as the membership and the passive courses and the courses that I've got planned to launch this year as well.
[00:23:57] So I'm very excited to take you on the journey. I [00:24:00] definitely am not going to, and I might eat my words on this. But right now, I'm not planning on going into hashtag mompreneur. I'm not planning on having a mom mastermind. I'm not planning on becoming this mom identity online. I'm still very, very much wanting to keep Rebecca Hayden my own identity and myself.
[00:24:25] As the business as my brand and the fact that I have a baby, uh, having a baby You know navigating that is just going to be part of my business rather than the full business. So don't worry I'm not gonna turn into full The mom podcast or anything like that. I mean, I might listen back to this in a year's time.
[00:24:49] I'd be like, Oh, we really went there, but no, I'm really, really certain that I still want this business to be exactly how I've been in the last couple of years. You know, the subconscious, the strategy that really supports you scaling and reaching that impact that you want to reach, becoming the niche, being and playing bigger.
[00:25:11] Getting more visible, you know, everything that I'm speaking about at the moment, that is not going anywhere either. So, I am so excited to take this on, take this journey with you. The journey of being pregnant and becoming a mother, and I'm sure I'll talk about it in other podcasts, but I really wanted to kind of share with you today how You know, the navigation of having things go on in your life and how you can get around that.
[00:25:38] So, just wanted to, before we finish, just go through a couple of things that have really helped me over the last couple, you know, over the last month. One is really Leaning in to the uncomfort. And I think sometimes it's literally the last thing you want to hear. It's the last thing you want to do because it does feel so uncomfortable because it does feel like you want to retract and like you don't want to deal with it, but actually leaning into the resistance, leaning into that uncomfort for me allowed me to move through it quicker, really allowed me to process it quicker.
[00:26:12] Secondly, for me was to stop becoming so independent and lean on people. I leant on my coach a lot more. I leant on my team a lot more. I, I leant on my, you know, family and friends a lot more. And I really, really valued that. And I really valued having conversations with them. You know, for me, I'm a massive, we, I need to talk this through.
[00:26:35] That's, that's, you know, that's my go to, to understand and process anything. I have to talk it through with at least five or six people, even if I'm having the same conversation. So having that and understanding that. was really, really important for me and not kind of shying away from that as part of, you know, part of me.
[00:26:54] And then the last thing was really having those systems in place. You know, I had the systems in [00:27:00] place to make sure content was out, to make sure I'm still showing up. How can I really rely on Previous Becky, you know, my, my good team member past Becky, she's done a lot for me. She's shown up a lot. She's done a lot of stories.
[00:27:20] We've got a lot in the archive. We don't need to keep creating the, you know, create the next wheel, a new wheel. So I've really been leaning on that to really help me through and to take the pressure off as well. So I'm not having to constantly recreate because quite frankly. Trimester one is not the time to be creating anything creativity has been through through the window That's the wrong phase down the drain Um, so kind of having that as well But I think just knowing that if you've got a business and you're creating a business and you're building a business To have those systems and procedures, SOPs, the way that you do things and getting really, really clear on that.
[00:28:05] So things can hold you. I always say, you know, have the glass and you be the water so you can flow in and out of your business. That is a huge part of what I do with my one to ones and it's so, so. So important for the sustainability of your business, because like I said, life is going to happen. Things are gonna, things are going to happen and that's okay.
[00:28:26] So I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode. If you haven't DM'd me yet, I'm sure we've had conversations across the board. Um, but please pop in. I'm really, really excited for this journey. Any words of wisdom, any tips, very, very welcome. And I will see you on the next episode. Love you lots.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!