How to Stop Overthinking & Start Taking Action Instead [ep. #229]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to The Subconscious Expert!
Are you caught in the exhausting loop of overthinking every single business decision? Let's talk about how to stop overthinking once and for all!
Overthinking in business stems from deeper subconscious patterns that keep you stuck, not from lack of knowledge or ability. I see this pattern repeatedly with my clients—they know what they want to do, but their brain won't stop spinning the same thoughts over and over again. This protective mechanism is actually trying to keep you safe, but it's costing you clarity, momentum, and growth.
So in today's episode, I dive into why we overthink, what's happening in your nervous system during these spirals, and, most importantly, how to break free from this pattern.
You'll learn how to shift from mental noise to embodied decision-making, rebuild self-trust, and create the safety your body needs to move forward. I'll show you how to recognise when you're in an overthinking spiral and give you tools to move from paralysis to purposeful action—not because everything's perfectly mapped out, but because you're rooted in yourself.
Topics covered on How to Stop Overthinking:
Why does your brain create overthinking loops, and what's the hidden reason behind this protection strategy?
How does your nervous system physically respond when you're stuck in decision paralysis?
Identify the secondary gains of your overthinking loop.
What practical steps can you take today to stop overthinking?
How can you recognise when your spiral is happening and pull yourself back into conscious awareness?
What does the regulation of your nervous system have to do with making better business decisions?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
213. The Safety of Success: Why Subconscious Self-Sabotage Kicks In When You’re Winning
227. How to Tell If You’re Making Business Moves from Fear or from Power
228. Avoidance in Business: Why You’re Stuck, Subconscious Blocks, and How to Break Through
Quote:
"Overthinking is literally a sign that your body doesn't feel safe enough to decide.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription:
Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] You are listening to the Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind blowing results you desire in your life and business. I've said it before and I will say it a hundred times again, your business cannot outgrow your mindset, and if you wanna grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious.
So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve. Hello my gorgeous lady. Welcome back to the subconscious expert. Oh yes. We are here with the subconscious work again today because we're talking, we are diving into overthinking. Oh yes. Something we all love to do as humans and it reminds me of.
A lot of clients that come to me who we actually do the [00:01:00] work on overthinking, and then they get a little bit scared that they've got nothing to overthink about. You know, we get to the point where they're like, hang on back. Like, I can't worry about, there's nothing to worry about and I'm worried about that.
So we are talking about overthinking today, the spirals, the stuckness, the second guessing, and a lot of the time. You know, deep down what you want to do. You do. I know you do, and you are building something amazing. You are holding so much. You are showing up, you're doing the thing, but your brain will not stop spinning the same thoughts over and over and over again and man alive.
Is it quite frustrating? Frustrating and anger? We get a lot of these emotions, especially at the overthinking part within us. Um, and we're gonna be diving into today, so I [00:02:00] know there is a lot of thoughts that kind kind of come up around business. Some of the ones that I see the most is like. You know, am I pricing too high?
What if no one buys? Should I launch the podcast? I kind of wanna rest right now, but have I done enough today? What if this post doesn't land? Should I launch this now or should I wait? And it's almost like constantly, especially in business, your brain will not turn off. And actually at the beginning of your business, what used to be clarity, what used to be excitement, what used to be passion is now foggy, really heavy and actually hard to move through.
And this episode is gonna shift a bit of that baby. We are going to shift. I really wanna deep go kind of deep into. Dig deep. I tried to say then, or go deep. Uh, I really wanna dig deep into one, why we overthink [00:03:00] two, what's currently happening in the subconscious and your nervous system actually, when that kicks in.
But most importantly, at the end of today's episode, we're gonna be starting to break the loop of this overthinking so you can move forwards and actually move forwards with a lot of trust, with a lot of clarity, really in self. Again, so. Let's dive in. The root, the root, the root of overthinking. What you need to know, first of all, is it's a protection strategy from your subconscious.
Very, very clever. You don't overthink a lot of the time because you are indecisive or weak or lacking clarity, which your brain perceives you to have. You know, oh, like I can't make this decision, so I must be indecisive, or I can't make this decision. This decision, this makes me a shit business owner, or I can't make this, uh, you know, I can't get this clarity and therefore I'm not good at this.
That's where your, that's where your brain [00:04:00] goes because it's again, masking what's currently going on. But actually what's happening is some part of you, some part of you what, whatever part that is. Hello parts. I know you're here. I know you're listening, but some part of you learned that actually. Slowing down or over preparing or staying in the thinking or the planning phase keeps you safe.
And actually as a business owner, this pattern gets reinforced all the fricking time. And as a business owner. You are constantly, constantly holding space for risk holding space for decisions, for visibility, for being seen, for being paid, for being chosen, for putting food on the table and a roof over your head.[00:05:00]
You know, you are constantly holding space for that. And do not forget that. Do not forget that. And actually, if your subconscious sees. All of those things, or one of those things is dangerous. Even just a tiny, tiny smidgy, little bit, your mind will protect you. And it will protect you by very cleverly looping the overthinking thoughts.
Because if you are in overthinking, she ain't taking any action. Yeah, we did the job, baby. We got a good, we got her back into overthinking and we did nothing again today. Woo-hoo. So, you know, instead of posting, you edit the caption. 400,000 times instead of launching. You wait until that perfect time instead of resting.
I know there's a lot of you out there. You plan and plan and plan and plan and plan even in your head, even while you pretend that you're taking time off the business on the evening, or you're having [00:06:00] a bath or you are, you know, sipping a glass of wine, you are still planning in your head because it feels absolutely lazy to stop.
Now overthinking, like I said, is your subconscious trying to literally buy you time to avoid the perceived pain, and that pain will look different to everyone. It might be the, the fear of being rejected. It could be failing, it could be success, it could be the pain of launching and kind of hearing crickets or.
The sneaky one that I see so very often in a lot of my ideal clients is the pain of actually getting what you want, the the pain of having the big life, the pain of actually following through the pain of you doing what you are on this fricking world to do, and then wondering if you can hold it. And that's why the more you grow, the more this comes up [00:07:00] from a neuroscience perspective, when you are in a spiral, it's not just your subconscious, it's actually a bit of nervous system activation as well.
Now, your brain, your subconscious, is hardwired to avoid uncertainty. That's why the fear of the unknown is a real. Fucking thing. We are literally wired, hardwired to avoid uncertainty. So when you're about to make a move in business that feels stretchy, and whether that's raising your prices, investing, selling, launching, shifting your niche.
Having a big uphold of your business, whatever that is, putting, even putting boundaries in your brain is scanning that as a potential threat. And ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Your amygdala lights up and that's your emotion center now when the amygdala is lit up. So I just want you to imagine kind of like the [00:08:00] emotions in your body is, is.
On the light is on. What happens then is your prefrontal cortex, which is the CEO, the decision maker, where we are predominantly in self, the logic center, which we want to use in business. It dims itself down, so the amygdala lights up and the prefrontal cortex goes and dims itself down. And with this your body.
Goes into fight, it goes into flight, or it goes into freeze and in freeze, it's like, well, we'll, we'll have another go tomorrow. Um, let me just ask my coach one more time, or let me just think this, you know, like, let me just think this through just a little bit longer and then you're stuck again. The pattern, the pattern, the pattern, but overthinking.
And this is one big takeaway I want you to take from this podcast. [00:09:00] Overthinking is literally a sign that your body doesn't feel safe enough to decide. It doesn't feel safe enough to decide. And that's the real work. Like that is the real work. That's like, that's not just mindset. That's not just logic.
That's like literally building felt safety, which I do with my clients all the time in your body. And when we do that, what you will find is that action then becomes natural, that safety in your body. That's the first thing I want you to think about. Just that safety in your body. Where does that feel? How do you feel it?
When was the last time that you felt truly safe in your body? You might not be able to go back to a time that's okay. We can create one. What do you want safety to feel like? But really try and pull from that because we want to build that in your [00:10:00] body, in your business now. I'm gonna get a little bit spicy on your ash, your ash, your ass, because sometimes with overthinking we have a little hidden payoff, a secondary gain, as we call it.
And I've got a podcast episode on that. I'll link it in the show notes. The biggest reason that sometimes you stay in overthinking. It's usually because it gives us something and secondary gain sometimes can be really hard to look at. It's quite confronting and usually is when I mirror it back to clients or I get them to think about it.
And I had a couple of people, um, say like, Ooh, wow, like that hit that, that hurt. That feels uncomfortable. But actually it opens your eyes to currently why you're doing the behaviors that you're doing when you think about it. If you are still thinking about the idea, [00:11:00] you don't have to launch it yet. If you're still tweaking the offer, you don't have to sell it yet.
If you're still deciding on two paths of the business, you don't have to commit to either, do you? And actually what overthinking is doing is giving us temporary relief. Like, it's like I don't wanna take this risk, so I am gonna sit where I'll just either still think about it or still tweak, or still be in deciding because if I stay in that, then I don't have to risk.
And what's actually happening there is that's that perceived safety of you not taking the risk comes at a cost. And I see it so, so often, the cost of clarity, the cost of momentum, the cost of compounding, the momentum, the cost of actually becoming the version of you who [00:12:00] leads herf rigging business. And that's what we need to question.
Is it safer for me to keep, you know, tippy toeing, egg shelling on this idea, or do I just need to launch it? And actually that's where we can create the safety. Now, I also wanna speak about self-trust because a lot of overthinking comes from the lack of self-trust. And most women that I work with, most incredible women that I have in my one-to-one containers.
My world, the subconscious membership, wherever you are, don't have a decision making problem. They don't. And they know they don't. And I know that you know that. They know that they don't. They have a self-trust wound and part of them. Doesn't trust that they'll be okay if the thing doesn't work, whether, if it's, no one signs up, if someone judges [00:13:00] them, if they succeed, and suddenly everything changes.
So what happens is they loop not because they don't know what to do, but because they don't trust themselves. And whether that's trust themselves to hold the outcome or any of the things that I've just said. This isn't through logic, it's not through the conscious mind. It's not through more strategy. We need to rebuild self-trust from the inside out.
It's those micro, micro moments of safe, really embodied, really aligned choices. So I want you to ask yourself right now, if I fully trusted myself. What would I choose? What would I do? What decision would I make? And I want you to ask it, and I want you to feel it, [00:14:00] and I've got goosebumps saying this, but I want you to have the answer literally come from your body and not your brain.
One thing that I always say to my clients is get out of your head and into your body. Get out of your head and into your body, so let the answer come from you, from your body, not your brain. If I fully trusted myself right now, what would I choose? What would I do? What would I decide? How would I move? And then anchor it.
Say it freaking out loud. Say it out loud right here, right now, wherever you are, if you're in the shower, if you're on a walk, if you're in the car, I don't care. I want you to say it out loud, write it down, and then I want you to take one micro action, micro, tiny, tiny, tiny action from that place, even if it's just stepping away from your desk or [00:15:00] hitting post or sending the dm.
Because every time you act from trust, especially, especially, especially, especially when it feels stretchy, you are showing your subconscious, it's safe for me to move. I've got me, it's safe for me to move. I've got me, I just saw 4, 4, 4 on the podcast thing. It's safe for me to move. I've got me. And that really starts to change everything.
So what could. Life look like on the other side of the overthinking, on the other side of the spiral. It's not that the thoughts stop, it's just that they stop leading the show and actually you start to lead. Self starts to lead. Self-trust leads, body leads, and that's the real shift from the mental noise.
That is really the real shift from the mental noise. And trust me, my mental noise [00:16:00] can be that loud sometimes. And I, and I know I use this example where I used to go to bed and be like, who the hell was I today? Who was that? I do not know. And that's because my parts were so prominent. The overthinking was so prominent or whatever parts were in place at that time.
They were so prominent that I did not go into Rebecca Hayden self at all in that day. And I used to get into bed and be like, I have no fucking clue who I was today. That is weird. So. I want you to look at your day to day. And actually have a little conversation with a couple of those spirals that are coming up, or even if it is the overthinking, if you've hit this because you're like, fuck, I'm sick of overthinking right now, and I just want you to say to overthinking, Hey, I understand what you're doing.
Becky's actually told me, and now I really do understand what you're doing and I get it. I know [00:17:00] that you wanna keep me safe. I know that you wanna keep us protected, and I know that you've done an incredible job of this probably my whole life. So thank you. Thank you for being there, and thank you for protecting me.
But actually today I want us to work together. I want us to work together and I want to show you how I can trust myself in moments in micro moments. So if it's okay today, I'm gonna lead the ship and I literally put myself visually on the head of the ship by the steering wheel and all my parts behind me on the ship and off we sail into the future and just have that conversation.
Because when you are in that, you will stop chasing validation or certainty and you will really start to create safety. And then you move and you move and you move and you move and you don't move because everything's perfectly mapped out. But because you are [00:18:00] rooted in yourself. We don't need everything mapped out to an inch of its life to make the move say yes and figure it out later.
My motto throughout the whole of my business, you know, that's what your business wants from you. I don't want perfection. I don't. I don't constant thinking. It's fucking tiring. It's mentally tiring. I just want your clarity. I want your commitment. I want your leadership. That is something that you can build every day, every single day.
If you start listening to yourself, get out of your head and into your body, out of your head and into your body. So couple of things we've, we've got lots of things to think about already, but couple of kind of. Steps that you can do. Um, to start breaking this overthinking pattern, the first thing that I want you to do is literally name, name the loop, name the spiral.
I've spoke about spirals as well on the podcasts before. I [00:19:00] will link a couple of the podcast episodes that kind of link to that as well if you're kind of in this spiral and wanna do more work around it. Name the loop. You know, what decision am I avoiding right now? What feels unsafe about taking action?
What do I fear will actually happen if I move forwards? And what that will do is you are becoming curious. All of those questions are the big fat C curious, and it immediately will pull you out of the spin. Pull you out of the spiral, pull you out of the overthinking, and it will pull you into conscious awareness.
Just get to know it because otherwise you'll sit in, sit in it, and you'll sit in it for a day, a week, a month, a year, and then you'll come to the end of the year and you're like, fuck, I'm still in the same position. You need to get curious. You need to become the observer of your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors.
It's the work that brings the magic. So when we know that, I then want you to regulate. [00:20:00] So before the decision or before the action, or before you work through the fear, I just want you to regulate whether it's. Breath, literally through breath work. Whether it's bloody cold water, whether it's gentle movement, whether it's music, whatever that looks like, I want you to start to ground into, I'm safe to decide.
I'm safe to lead. I'm safe to lead. I. Your brain will never, ever, ever find clarity, creativity, confidence. If your body is in the threat response, it never will. So we have to bring in that regulated nervous system. Third thing is what I spoke about in in today's podcast episode with the self-trust. So like I said, most overthinking is actually self-doubt in a little disguise.
So if I fully trusted myself right [00:21:00] now, what would I choose? Anchor it, say it out loud, write it down, act from that place, that micro action that I spoke about. And then lastly is obviously the subconscious rewiring. You know, look at what programs and beliefs are underneath the overthinking. It could be, well, I need to get it right, or I'll fail.
I. Could be, you know, there there's plenty, a plethora of beliefs that could be under your overthinking. So really having a look at shifting that belief, the membership will really help you there if that's something you want to do and kind of be, in my world, this is the work that I guide my clients through daily, literally daily, because until your subconscious feels safe, your brain will always find a reason to pause.
It will always find a reason. So I want you to go and have a work on these. [00:22:00] Have a little look into the overthinking, have a chat with them, understand them, start to nurture them a little bit more. And I want you to actually know before we finish this podcast episode, like any woman who is growing their business, you know, any entrepreneur, woman, or man, I don't care, whoever you are.
It is not that they never overthink, I still overthink, but it's that we have built the tools and we have the safety to one, notice it faster, to two, regulate quicker and to three fucking move anyway. Move anyway. And that gets to be you too. You get to run a business where that clarity is your baseline, where your decisions are from that self-trust that we were just talking about, not constant survival, and actually where you take action that reflects where you [00:23:00] actually want to go and it doesn't reflect your bloody fear.
So. If you know that this is something that you want to work on more deeply, you already know that this is the subconscious work than I do with my clients every single day. I would suggest you jump into the membership. First of all, I will tag it in the show notes. There is a lot of tools in there to help you break the spirals, really have a look at the beliefs, have the support from hypnosis and visualizations, and EFT.
We have the mindset Q and as in there as well, which is amazing. You get an hour with me to ask and bring whatever you need. So if you are ready to like let go of this mental noise, um, I've got you. I've got you, baby. I've bloody got you. I hope this podcast episode has resonated, landed in some way, shape, or form, and is going to help you to really just loosen the overthinking and to be able to come back into self, back into that prefrontal cortex and run the, run your business the way that you know that you can.
I love you so [00:24:00] much. Thank you for being here, and I'll see you on the next episode. I love to see you plugging in and listening to the podcast every week. So whilst you're here, I would love for you to spend a moment sharing your favorite episode, reviewing the podcast, and of course, that Juicy five Star rating.
These little acts of kindness really help the podcast reach more incredible powerhouses just like you. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, add me at underscore Rebecca Hayden underscore. And for the full show notes and more resources, head over to rebecca hayden.com. I'll see you there.
More about The Subconscious Expert:
Welcome to The Subconscious Expert, the podcast where your subconscious becomes your one-way ticket to the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and business! I’m your host, Rebecca Haydon, The Subconscious Expert who went from being stuck in victim mode to a multi 6 figure business owner. Each week, I will be giving you the subconscious tools and techniques so you can become the woman who is living out her vision with a life and business that she is truly OBSESSED with. I have said it before, and I will say it 100 times again: "Your business can't outgrow your mindset, and if you want to grow your business, it always starts with growing your subconscious." So let's dive into the subconscious breakthrough you so deeply deserve!