Success Story: From a Constant Hustle to an Aligned Business with Abbey Renee [ep.141]

22 Aug

This juicy episode is filled with actionable strategies, empowering stories, and practical tips that will guide you toward building your own aligned business. Get ready to step into your power, prioritise your well-being, and create a business and life that lights you up!

**Topics covered on Building an Aligned Business:**

How can embracing your feminine side enhance your business success and overall well-being?
What impact does operating solely from a masculine energy have on your relationships and personal fulfilment?
How prioritising self-care can actually help you create an aligned business?
The holistic approach to entrepreneurship that focuses on optimal well-being.
Interrupting old patterns and rewiring your brain lead to more sustainable and fulfilling work habits.
The red flags indicating that you're putting too much emphasis on your business at the expense of your health and happiness.
Where should you start if you want to shift your focus from constant hustle to an aligned business?
How can envisioning your ideal day and lifestyle help you align your actions with your desires and create a more joyful and purposeful business?
Why is it crucial to go all-in on yourself and invest in mentorship to unlock your full potential and create an aligned business?
Creating a new baseline of safety within your nervous system to empower you to step into your higher self.
What role does curiosity play in starting your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling entrepreneurial path?
The benefits of connecting with like-minded women in business.

More about Abbey Renee:

Abbey is a mentor and coach for ambitious high achieving female entrepreneurs, and CEOs. Her mission is to support women to expand & grow their business with a holistic approach to health, lifestyle & optimal wellbeing so they can be embodied & thrive in all aspects of their life and build a wildly successful business. She is all about optimal health & performance, mindset & inner work, embodiment & true alignment and lifestyle design.

Resources mentioned:

Watch the IG Live

Connect with Abbey Renee:

Instagram: @abbeyrenee___
Facebook group: The Embodied Woman Community
Website: www.shor.by/AbbeyReneeCoaching
Podcast: The I Am Project Podcast

Connect with Bec:

Quote:

“You can still make a huge impact and you can still make a lot of money, and still hold a lot of success without sacrificing your health.“ - Abbey Renee

“What's the point of people paying you all this money when really you are not actually performing at your best and you're not thriving in your life or in your business?” - Abbey Renee

Transcription:

Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!

[00:00:00] Bec: Hello, beautiful, welcome to Higher Self & I. And I, listeners, like I said, I've given her a very big introduction, but I am so excited to have my gorgeous client, well, ex client, previous client, I dunno what word you say anymore when you, when you leave me. Um, but I have my beautiful client, Abby, here, who was my six month in my six month one-to-one container.

[00:00:24] Bec: And I know today is gonna be, So unbelievably juicy because the whole time together was unbelievably juicy and I cannot wait to dive in. So welcome, Abby. I am so happy that you're

[00:00:37] Abby: here. Thank you so much, Beck. I am so excited to be on your podcast. Like I've been a, a little mini fan for quite some time, so it's like kind of surreal being on this 'cause I've like, Binged listened to your podcast for like two years, which is crazy.

[00:00:54] Abby: So it's like kind of weird, but cool. Like a full circle moment. Yeah, I was just

[00:00:59] Bec: about to say, it's like a full 360 isn't it? Of, of actually going from listening to it and I know so many people go back and binge and, and listen to it, which makes me so happy. But here you are. You are. You are here. You're

[00:01:12] Abby: on it.

[00:01:13] Abby: I know. It's so cool and I'm just so excited to talk to you today. It's gonna be so cool.

[00:01:18] Bec: Same. I cannot wait. So I think let's kind of start from the very beginning. It was very strange how you randomly dropped into my Instagram on one one singular day, and I know exactly where I was when you messaged me, which I find a bit weird as well.

[00:01:35] Bec: But I think it was just like this beautiful synchronicity of how you found me, what you were looking for, and what we actually then went on to do because it was very different to what you first. Came to me for really, and I remember having the conversation and it was around the time for those who don't know or haven't listened way back into the podcast where I was doing a lot of visibility work, um, a lot of content work of how to speak to your ideal clients and um, create consistent clients from that, which I still do within the business, but obviously mindset is more of a forefront now.

[00:02:09] Bec: Um, but yeah. What were you looking for when you first came to me? 'cause it's, uh, it was a journey, wasn't it?

[00:02:15] Abby: It was, and I think like your content really stood out to me because it was very like empowering. You were showing me this like whole other realm of doing business that felt really good to me. And I was like, is this a thing?

[00:02:31] Abby: Is this possible? And like you were like the portal to this whole new like coaching online business. Universe. That was it. It, it blew my mind because I had come from building a business and being in the coaching space from such a different, um, area, I guess. So like health and fitness and I, I kind of got sucked into that sort of bro marketing, uh, style of building a [00:03:00] business that kind of left me feeling really burnt out and I didn't feel very aligned in the way that I was.

[00:03:07] Abby: Building my business and I thought it was like a me problem, but then I, I saw your contact, I think you came up on my explore page, which is so crazy because like the amount of people that can come up in your explore page is like out of millions, billions of accounts. Right? And like your, you came up and there was just this post.

[00:03:26] Abby: I go, I don't actually even remember the post, to be honest. I should have actually gone back in. Tried to see which one it was. I reckon I could pick it, but, um, and, and then I just stalked you for like three days and I was like, I've just gotta message you. I've gotta just talk to you, get on a call with you.

[00:03:41] Abby: And yeah, there was just something about you, there was an energy thing and Yeah, there was just this lightness, this brightness, this like sunshine, this like, New way of doing business and I was like, I wanna be part of that. I wanna learn from you. There's something about you, I think like sometimes when you come across somebody, it's just an energy thing that you're like, mm, I really resonate with this human.

[00:04:06] Abby: Um, I also resonate with your story a little bit as well and how you've like completely moved your life over, you moved over to Australia. Um, And there was just bits of your story that I could really resonate with as well. 'cause I moved a lot of my life across the other side of the country, away from all of my friends and family during Covid.

[00:04:23] Abby: Um, and I think at the time I was pretty, I felt a bit lonely in my business and I felt a bit just lost. I think. I think I'd kind of lost my way and I still had this underlying drive to succeed. And this. Driving force to wanna build a really beautiful business and to impact other women's lives like on such a deeper level, which I was already doing at the time, which was amazing and it was great and I had a really great thriving business.

[00:04:52] Abby: But the way that I was going about building it just didn't feel good. And I was like, I, I, I didn't realize there was another way I could build a business. Um mm And I think when you, only when you know what, when you only know what you know, but then you discover this whole other way of building a business and you were like, proof of that.

[00:05:12] Abby: I was like, Okay. Like this chick's like kind of like five to 10 steps ahead of me. Like maybe some guidance would be really helpful. And like, because she's in this business realm, she's really good at content, she's really good at speaking to like an ideal client. She's really good at the mindset side of things.

[00:05:31] Abby: And I knew that I had some blocks mm-hmm. And everything as well, which I wanted support with. 'cause I kind of wanted to just. Understand like why I am holding myself back or why I am self-sabotaging a little bit, or why I am feeling this way. And it just really helped, like I, I was really drawn to the support that I knew, knew that you were going to be giving, um, in your space and in your world.

[00:05:55] Abby: And that's what really drew me to you. And I was like, I come, I feel like I'm kind of getting a lot here. [00:06:00] You know, in terms of a coach, you've got mindset, you've got business strategy, and you've also got like the content. And you know, 'cause social media and growing your business on social media is like, it's the number one thing we all need to be doing.

[00:06:12] Abby: And I, you were amazing at that. Like for me to find you come across, you three days later, drop into your dms, we get on a call and I sign up like, I was like that. That's a, that's amazing. That's kind of crazy, but the process I want. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. That was the process that I wanted for my business.

[00:06:29] Abby: You know, I wanted people dropping into my dms, and I think that was a lot of your content at the time as well, which is so beautiful. And I. It's been really cool to like see you shift and change, um, over the course of 12 months, which is just, yeah, the growth, but we'll get into that. But that's like kind of how I found Beck, which is bizarre, but I, yeah.

[00:06:47] Abby: I just have, ugh, the stars aligned and I'm just so grateful for that moment. Yeah. Yeah,

[00:06:53] Bec: I completely agree. And I think from what we went on and did together as as a team, and I really did see us as a team because it was this mentorship where I held you in that space for something that you thought you wanted.

[00:07:07] Bec: Well, something that you wanted to really let go of in the way of. The bro marketing and that sort of side of things. I, I remember you saying that you were just constantly like pushing in the dms for discovery calls and it all felt so, like I, I've got goosebumps. Like it all felt so unaligned with what you actually wanted and actually to then open your eyes to like, I think I, I think I remember you saying like, so you don't ask anyone on a call, and I'm like, no, like people just come in from what I'm doing and what the, what that looks like, and then how we then started to really dive into that and what that looked like for you.

[00:07:43] Bec: In the, in the beginning, we really did start to shift how you were showing up, and I remember that having such quite a, a big impact on what that looked like for you. But from doing that, we then started to find out that you were like, wow. I want so much more than this, than what you were talking about at the time.

[00:08:00] Bec: Can you remember kind of going through that and having that realization of, okay, I've been speaking to this one person. And that's great and that's okay, but like there's just this whole other world of people that I wanna speak to. And then how that kind of transformed into basically what your business is now, isn't it?

[00:08:20] Abby: Yeah, it's kind, it kind of happened very organically just through the conversations that we were having and like I never felt. Like, I, I never felt like I could hold back from you. Like you create like a, such a safe space. Like I just, sometimes I would just come in with stuff and I would just start ranting about something and it would just lead to something else and then lead to something else.

[00:08:46] Abby: And then like, I would be talking, I'm like, but this is what I want. Like, I, I kind of feel like this is my direction, but then I don't feel like there was some like imposter syndrome coming on, like coming into it and self-doubt. And, but I just, I had this like, Feeling [00:09:00] and this energy, I'm like, but I feel like I need to be working with these sorts of women because like the, I resonate with them and that's me.

[00:09:06] Abby: And, you know, I've been in this place and I, I wanna be able to help them not go through what I've been through. Um, and then you actually sparked the idea of, um, working with more entrepreneurial, c e o, um, very ambitious, high achieving women, because that I, I see that in myself and I've. I've built my business, um, you know, from a place of like.

[00:09:32] Abby: Like not being in alignment with myself. And I felt like I was, in a way masking, masking a lot of parts of myself that weren't authentic and weren't who I wanted to be and who I wanted to show. Mm-hmm. So it was like, I know you talk a lot about like identity shifting, but I really felt like I was shifting my identity and really getting to know myself at, at such a core level.

[00:09:57] Abby: Um, That over time my beliefs started to shift and with like the hypnosis work that you gave me to do, you know, all the workbooks, every single question, like I dived in, I did the work, she was there. Like I, I was there and I would come in with you when I had a question, like I was willing to go all in. I think like, When you're so determined to want something so bad in your life, like you want a deeper impact, you have a deeper mission, but you're just sort of also finding yourself along the way.

[00:10:28] Abby: Um, there's a lot of shedding and there's a lot of like having to release a lot of parts that don't serve you anymore, and. There's just so, so much that you need to, like, mold out of, to mold into, if that makes sense. Mm-hmm. Like it's this whole shift of the way that you are seeing the way that you do business, the way that you can impact a human's life.

[00:10:52] Abby: Um, the way that you can show up for yourself on a daily basis differently. Like you can be that change if you choose, if you put in the work and I put in the work every day, that meant pulling back a bit. That actually meant resting, that meant surrendering. Um, and, you know, I showed up as best as I could, but I, I felt like I needed some deeper kind of healing and conversations to get to know myself and build that relationship with myself so that I knew clearly exactly what I wanted to do, because, I think like I, I had this idea of what I wanted to do and I followed that and it was sort of like someone else's idea of what I think I wanted in a way, like subconsciously.

[00:11:41] Abby: And I think that's what I kind of realized was subconsciously I wanted something that I actually didn't want. So it was actually even getting like going through a fair few ego deaths and my ego took quite a hit to actually, you know, be like, I actually don't want that. I want this. How can I make [00:12:00] that happen?

[00:12:00] Abby: And how can I start stepping into that with more confidence, more conviction, and more embodiment of that, of, of that vision that I have for myself. Um, so that was sort of like, just through organically, like our conversations that we had together, this, all these sort of like, Um, I guess internal shifts started to happen 'cause I was like, I can see a much more exciting, um, path for me and I would rather much do this than, and, and, and kind of, um, dissolve what I'd already built.

[00:12:37] Abby: Um, which was really, really hard for me. But I knew that I just needed to work on myself. I need to shift and recalibrate and, um, And trust myself. And I think the self-trust journey for me has been, it's huge. Huge, yeah. Mm-hmm. That was, that was the biggest

[00:12:55] Bec: thing. And I think it comes back down to that, doesn't it?

[00:12:58] Bec: With the, with the identity piece. And I really wanna speak into that because I think there is so many, we do so much work on ourselves as entrepreneurs. I feel like you have to be doing work on yourself to, to stay sane in the entrepreneur space and understand yourself more. And I think the more that you do work on yourself, the more you do start.

[00:13:21] Bec: Shedding. The more you do start molding into that person that you desire to be, and actually what comes with that is the business might not feel aligned anymore, and that's okay. But I think so many people, I see so many women try and keep forcing themselves down that path and down that path and down that path that it ends up they end up quitting or leaving, or.

[00:13:44] Bec: Feeling so unaligned with the business that they believed they had, that it, you know, it just doesn't serve them. And I think seeing you go through that process, and ironically, I had been through that process with going home and, you know, going into Rebecca. 2.0, I'm currently going through it with Rebecca 3.0.

[00:14:02] Bec: You know, like we are always going through that shedding process and changing and shift in the business. And it does come down to you knowing yourself so clearly from an identity level of who you want to be. And I think that was the biggest thing that I loved seeing from you is that. You fucking showed up through thick, through thin, through hell, through so much, so many, what we called ego deaths, um, in, in our space together.

[00:14:35] Bec: But you carried on going. And I think that is just homage to you of like how much you show up for yourself and how much you believe in your dreams and your goals. And, and I, I don't think a lot of people would've stuck through that. I just wanted to say that today because it really is a testament to where you are going and what you'll achieve for you to be able to hold yourself in such [00:15:00] hard times.

[00:15:00] Bec: They were hard times, weren't they? You know, we can't beat around the bush here, so let's talk about the identity shift, because I think that that is one of the biggest things that happened and that came, you know, that was pure mindset. It was purely a moment where, We had to do the mindset work before the strategy was put on top.

[00:15:22] Bec: What do you think was the biggest belief shift that you had? Do you reckon?

[00:15:29] Abby: Uh, just like hearing all of that is actually making me really emotional. Uh, I got you. Yeah, you got me good. Um, you really holding my tears? Um, no. 'cause like, I think like the work that we've done's, like, oh, I don't wanna cry, but like it's, I've just been, um, to look back and, and reflect on who I was before.

[00:15:58] Abby: It's like

[00:16:03] Abby: the, the growth has been like astronomical, but it's because I, I believed I could do it. Mm-hmm. Oh, I, I did, I, I knew that I could do it. I knew that I had the courage to. Lean into the vulnerability. Mm-hmm. And the openness to receive feedback. Even though I, there's like, sometimes there's things that you don't wanna be reflected back 'cause you already know those things, but sometimes it's good to hear them.

[00:16:37] Abby: Mm-hmm. Because it's what keeps you going and it's what keeps getting you to grow, um, and to outgrow things as well and to leave things behind. Um, And I think that like, just my whole mindset, so like it's so different. It's so different. It's, I'm so much more resilient. Um, I know that I can change the narrative at any time, at any point in, in, at any moment.

[00:17:06] Abby: Um, I have so much more strength and power, like so much more just pure. Like self-awareness and authenticity to know myself because like, that is my power. Like I am me and that is my power. And like, I think that was one of the beliefs that we came, like we came it with. Yeah. Yeah. And um, and just being able to trust myself, like knowing that I can make decisions and I can make them for myself.

[00:17:38] Abby: And I don't have to consolidate, you know, every single person around me before I make a decision. Um, Yeah. I think all of that and every, like, everything that we've worked through, like I've just, I just poured my heart into this work and it's really paid off. Mm-hmm. It's been [00:18:00] just absolutely transformative.

[00:18:01] Abby: Like transformative at like the highest level. My standards have changed, my boundaries have changed. I'm so much more intentional with how I spend my energy, how I spend my time. I am so much more driven to the mission that I have to help other women in business and to help them optimize their health alongside their mindset, to help them feel emotionally free.

[00:18:22] Abby: Um, because this is, like, this is really kind of what it's about. It's, it's about freeing yourself. It's about feeling free, uh, of your limitations and the, and the limiting beliefs that you have about yourself and, and where you're going. And knowing that. You are worthy and deserving of everything you desire and everything that you want in life.

[00:18:46] Abby: Like life is so short. We get to live once. You know, and I, I think that when you really take a leap and you invest in yourself and you get into rooms with people that really expand you and make you question things and get, get you curious about who, like the way that you are and how you think and how you behave and how you can do things differently, like it really does just.

[00:19:10] Abby: It transforms you as a human and your, your human experience. And that's priceless. That, that's lifelong shit. That's like you get to take everything you've learned with this other person, with you into the rest of your life, and you get to be a better human for your partner. You get to be a better human for your friends, for your mom, for your sister.

[00:19:36] Abby: For your colleagues, for your team members, your audience, like your clients. Like, it, it, it, it ripples into your energy, ripples into every other aspect of your life and your relationships, which are one of the most important things. You need a treasure and, um, you know, hold very tightly. And, um, yeah, just working on yourself and, and, and taking that leap and being brave and leaning in and being vulnerable, like there's so much.

[00:20:05] Abby: There's so much goodness and it's such a gift to give to yourself when you go through it and when you come out the other end. 'cause it's just. There's just a new level of internal freedom within yourself that you just can't put a price on.

[00:20:18] Bec: Yeah, and I was literally just about to say that like, yes, I love people having r o I from a monetary perspective when they work with me and whether it's in the six months that we work together, or whether it's four years later, you know, whatever that looks like for them.

[00:20:31] Bec: But actually for me, It is very, very aligned with what you just said in the ripple effect of the rest of your life. Because the things that you go through and the things that I teach you and the way that you can now self-coach yourself, which is, I know something that you said within our live that we did last week on Instagram.

[00:20:50] Bec: I'll tag it in the show notes if you haven't watched it. It's, it's beautiful as well. Um, But like, just having that self-awareness now for you to be able to coach [00:21:00] yourself is that's gonna last you full life. Like you, you will never let go of that and you will, you know, if you go on to have kids, you'll teach your kids or you will teach your partner or your friends or your family, like whatever that is.

[00:21:11] Bec: And I think that was for you to go through that, that work and, and probably. Deeper than I've ever experienced with any client, if I'm honest. Like the way that you held yourself in those times. And there was lots of, you know, turmoil that showed up in that, in the, in the space of us working together from even outside the business, really, you know, there was lots of different changes and, and life changes that were going on around you.

[00:21:35] Bec: But to hold yourself in, that was. So completely magical. And I think the biggest thing for me watching you as your coach was the, the strength of the trust muscle. Because you know, like I remember when you were doing. This was way back when, when we started together, but like, you know, every, every question you're like, but be, can I just check this with you for a minute?

[00:21:56] Bec: Hang on, let me just check. You. Can you just check this? And it was all like the, I need her to check. Like, it is all gotta be a check. Like let's check, check, check, check, check. And actually, like I saw kind of from doing the work together and building the trust, Muscle and you then coming into the container and being like, this is the idea I have.

[00:22:13] Bec: I'm definitely gonna do it, but I just need maybe a little bit of help with messaging or a little, and you knew exactly what you wanted. To get from kind of me as your coach, rather than being like, what do you think of the, and what do you think of this? It was so different, wasn't it? That change of trust?

[00:22:30] Bec: Did you see that both in the business and outside the business as well?

[00:22:36] Abby: Yeah, I think, um, because I was working through this sort of self-trust piece in being able to own and trust in my decisions, um, I, I, I kind of felt, I was like, I just want you to tell me what to do literally and just tell me what to do.

[00:22:52] Abby: Literally, literally it's like, just tell me what to do. Like, I dunno what to do. I dunno what I'm doing. I dunno where I'm going. I, I dunno, like, it was just this story that I had. Um, and it, it really did just come. Back to how I just have always relied on other people to give me the answer and to, to make the choice for me, basically.

[00:23:15] Abby: Mm-hmm. Um, or at least get me 90% of the way there. So then all I have to say is yes or no. Um, So I've, and, and that goes back to childhood, that goes back through my whole life. Um, and it's just always been a part of me, but it's a part of me that I've really worked on. 'cause I've become so conscious of it.

[00:23:34] Abby: I've brought it from the back of my subconscious and I've brought it forward and I started witnessing it in real time and I was like, oh, okay. Like I'm taking so long to figure out what I'm having for dinner. Mm-hmm. And I. Even taking forever to work out what I post today or what I do in my business today.

[00:23:55] Abby: And it just, it just, there was a disconnect and I hated it. And I was like, [00:24:00] the top CEOs of billionaires, successful entrepreneurs, like high performing business women are not sitting here for half an hour. Wondering whether they're going to do the thing or not. Yeah. You know, and it's just like, who do I wanna be?

[00:24:16] Abby: Do I wanna be that person that's gonna sit on the couch and like figure out what we're having for dinner for 20 minutes? Or am I just gonna go and like say, yep, this is what we're doing, and, or this is what we're having, let's get it done. Go and do it. Yeah. And go and do it. Like it's. It just came back to that.

[00:24:33] Abby: I'm like, I don't wanna be someone that's procrastinating or like taking so much longer to make a decision because when I, 'cause that's not how I wanna live my life. I'm literally wasting my life away. That's time I could be, I don't know, putting into other things that are more important. So it came back to like those little micro, um, just even decision making.

[00:24:54] Abby: Yeah. Things as well. So, um, Yeah. The, it, it's trust it. It was also, I'll also say on this, um, from like a body perspec, like a body connection, mind to body connection perspective as well. Like, I found it difficult to tune in with my, with what I felt like I wanted. Hmm. So I was, I was looking, I was. Choose. I was, um, how do I say it?

[00:25:21] Abby: Like, um, I was thinking I was too in my head and I was out of touch and out of connection with my body and what I had, what I've worked on doing is actually tuning in to what my heart space wants, what my gut feel wants, and actually just asking myself like, what do I feel like or what do I really want?

[00:25:43] Abby: And just taking a moment to like, Actually ask myself, ask my intuition, because it's intuition is, and your gut instinct, which is where like your trust and like, you know, all of that stems from, and witnessing it from a, like a, being a con from a prefrontal cortex perspective. Like, you know, consciously being aware of these moments, but then also checking in like intuitively within the body is also really important because then.

[00:26:12] Abby: Like, that's you connecting with yourself and what you need and what you want. Um, and this goes for anything that you want in your life or in your business. Yeah. Um, you know, sometimes we don't always. Really need chocolate. Sometimes we need a walk or we need love and connection with our, with our partner or with a friend or our mom.

[00:26:35] Abby: Sometimes we need more of an emotional need. So that's what I've learned to distinguish is like, what do I really need? Do I really need this? Or is this something that I actually like that my, that my body actually needs? Mm-hmm. Or that my business actually needs. So I think just that constant check-in and being very curious around.

[00:26:54] Abby: What I felt like I needed that, like, because I was so out of touch with [00:27:00] myself for so long, um, I was always thinking more logical, but sometimes you just need to feel into like what you want and what you need.

[00:27:12] Bec: And I love that from like that logical prefrontal cortex perspective versus the, the kind of limbic system and the feelings and sitting in that, sitting in those feelings and allowing yourself to feel those feelings.

[00:27:24] Bec: 'cause I think this, you know, I was very prone to this and I know we, we actually used me as an ideal client for you when we first started. Creating your messaging, didn't we? 'cause I was very much in the, like, the, I've gotta do this and this is what's gotta be done and I'm not doing enough and let's, let's do some more.

[00:27:41] Bec: And it was very coming from that, like, no matter how I'm feeling, what I'm doing, what my body's going, what bit of my cycle I'm in, I'm gonna be fucking working. And that's all, that's all that counts. And actually, you know, having that. That space to work through that. And I think that's what happened with you as well.

[00:27:58] Bec: You kind of allowed yourself to actually sit, and sometimes that feels uncomfortable to really sit or, you know, sometimes it feels uncomfortable to actually allow yourself to understand what you actually need versus what you're telling yourself needs. To be done right now and then, and then sitting and allowing that to flow.

[00:28:15] Bec: That just gave you like this whole lease of life with what the actual, what your business has gone on to be now, I think, and we'll definitely speak into that in a min in a minute, but it really allowed you to. Let, I think that was like the biggest thing that allowed you to let go of that old identity, wasn't it?

[00:28:33] Bec: You know, the, the old bro marketing. How many pieces of content can I put out? What do I need to be planning? Like what does all that look like versus now? Like, your content is so powerful and it just fricking flows through you in the way of, because you allow it, doesn't it?

[00:28:51] Abby: Yeah, and I think it had a really big part.

[00:28:53] Abby: I. In me being very, in my masculine. So I was very like all about strategy and all about doing and hustling and taking action and analytical thinking and numbers and tracking and you know, that very like masculine hustle vibe. Um, and I was in that for quite some time that my feminine was very wounded. I never gave myself time to rest and to play and to connect and you know, like, That was, that was, it was very hard for me to soften and to come more into that feminine side of me that, you know, loves to, to play and connect and have fun and not be thinking about work all the time.

[00:29:36] Abby: And to be able to switch off and to be able to flow rather than have everything planned out and strategized. And. In order, et cetera. Mm-hmm. And having that constant structure all the time. Um, so yeah, I, um, it, it was also healing a lot of that, um, within myself because [00:30:00] when you're so driven in your masculine, it, it drives you to.

[00:30:08] Abby: Constantly be doing, and you are never just being, you know, you are never just soaking in those micro moments daily on, on a daily basis. Like when your partner comes home from work, like I would just ignore him and just continue working. Um, you know, now I see him and I, he comes home and we, you know, We're affectionate and I love seeing him and I'm like, oh, it's so nice to see you.

[00:30:32] Abby: And you know, it's just such a different energy just from like the micro moments daily because I'm so much more present and I'm so much more in flow and I know what my body needs. I know when my limit is. I know when I'm getting rundown or exhausted. Um, And I, I tend to, my, my basic needs, my health. Mm. Um, which was something that I was neglecting, um, whilst I was building my business.

[00:30:59] Abby: Okay. Like, you know, uh, on the outside it all looked great, but actually I was suffering internally and I was suffering a lot from, um, a gut health and hormonal, um, Perspective, which I got help with, um, eventually as well, alongside the work that we were doing. Um, so I, I, I went into a, a way more holistic, um, uh, Path, I suppose.

[00:31:24] Abby: Um, because, you know, I, I have, I've, um, done bodybuilding in the past as well, so I think a lot of that, um, prove, like trying to prove myself and trying to hustle and, um, and, and reach success and get money and get clients and do like, do this and do that, like that, that was the energy that I was in constantly.

[00:31:44] Abby: I was constantly, like my adrenaline was so, High. I was like burnt out. I was fright, I was exhausted. I was so fatigued, had brain fog. I had all these issues going on as well from a physiological perspective as well. Um, so it, it, it, it does like, it's just an energy thing, but it's also like taking a step back and going, how is this actually affecting my life right now?

[00:32:07] Abby: Am I, am I actually thriving or am I just surviving? Mm. And that's the point that I got to as well, um, from, yeah, a health and wellbeing perspective. And that's why that's such a, a huge, um, piece to my coaching is that because I am a nutrition coach, qualified as a nutrition coach, um, And I've spent a lot of time in the health and fitness space.

[00:32:30] Abby: Like I wanted that element to be in the coaching that I have as well as like the neuroscience as well as subconscious reprogramming as you know, the mindset, energetics, embodiment, um, pieces as well. Like it's a very holistic way of transforming like the human, um, because it's, it's basically what I've been through.

[00:32:51] Abby: Um, and I, and it, it works. It works and it, it's, It fucking transformative and it's, it's amazing. I love it. So

[00:32:59] Bec: [00:33:00] good. Yeah. And you've seen it firsthand, haven't you? You've gone from that, you've gone from that space, you've gone from the masculine and that this isn't saying that we don't have masculine still.

[00:33:09] Bec: It, it's, it's how you can go in and out of that. And I know we'll speak about that when we kind of get into speaking about what you do, but I think just. You swung so far into the masculine, didn't you? And then like we had to swing all the way back into the feminine and then kind of find this equilibrium between them both of how you can still have structure and strategy within your business that leads and kind of contains the the goal, but then, More, more importantly for you to be looking after yourself from outside of the business because that has such a big impact on the inside of the business.

[00:33:44] Bec: So it's kind of led us perfectly into what you do and, and I think let's kind of have a look at. Where you are now, what that looks like since we started working together. So like what the, let's talk a bit into the transformation of what, what it looks like now, how you run your business now, how you show up for yourself now.

[00:34:03] Bec: And I know that will probably naturally take us into kind of chatting about what you do as

[00:34:08] Abby: well. Mm. Yeah, for sure. Like, um, obviously through what I've shared, like I've been through quite a lot, um, in my own journey and I noticed that what, like being in spaces and masterminds and working with so many different high achieving, ambitious entrepreneurs, women in business, like, it's so incredible that we have this opportunity to.

[00:34:34] Abby: Literally change the world and impact people's lives. Like how beautiful is that? And I think that so many women are on a mission to really make a change in not only other people's life, but their own life as well. But that, that's coming at a huge cost. I'm seeing a lot of women burning out and I'm, they're, you know, they're operating from this very highly, um, Highly strong overstimulated, self-sacrificing, um, overwhelming sabotaging place that's really impacting the way that they feel in their business.

[00:35:09] Abby: How they're showing up in their business, how they're leading themselves in their life, um, how they're taking care of themselves and. It's definitely not an optimal standard. I mean, like you can just look at like the general population of the world and like the health standards that we currently have in today's society.

[00:35:25] Abby: It's very poor, it's very average and it's quite frankly like not good enough. Um, and I just think that the more optimal that women can be in business from not only health and wellbeing perspective, but from. Um, just being like a safer human and a safer embodied, beautiful feminine woman in business, which is a very masculine, um, energy and a very masculine, um, uh, place to be in.

[00:35:58] Abby: I and MAs, and [00:36:00] I'm not trying to deem demonize the masculine at all, but um, it has its place, but there just needs to be more healthy structures around that. Yeah. Um, which is what I help my clients with and it's. Really about optimizing the human and having, um, having them hi, hold a higher standard to themselves so they can actually look after themselves from a holistic standpoint, um, from their lifestyle through what they eat, what they consume, how, how they show up for themselves daily.

[00:36:28] Abby: Um, so this is, this is more from like a, a, a deeper level, um, health, um, Pathway and coaching that I, that I do with my clients. And, but then it's also the blocks and seeing what's really like holding them back from doing the thing and reprogramming, rewiring the way that they're working because we get really, um, like the brain loves patterns.

[00:36:52] Abby: And when we get into these patterns, it can be really, really difficult to rewire and to re um, reprogram the way that we do things because we're just so comfortable and safe. And. Like it only knows what it knows through the patterns and the, the way that you've gone about doing your life and, and working in your business and the hours that you work, um, and the way that you spend your time or the way that you procrastinate or avoid, or, um, you know, the way that you eat, um, all those things it.

[00:37:23] Abby: It stems from these patterns that our brain creates over time and over years and years and years. And until you start to interrupt those patterns, is when we can start to create more behavioral change. Um, and yeah, it, I, I think like the more that you can master yourself, I. Um, and step into more of like a feminine leader.

[00:37:43] Abby: You're just gonna thrive and you wanna thrive behind the, the scenes of your business, um, which is gonna allow you to show up better in your business. You're going to have more energy. You're going to not feel so tired and fatigued and burnt out. You're not gonna be having any, um, you know, health issues if you suffer from things like P C O S or ac like, you know, hormonal acne.

[00:38:07] Abby: Um, or if you have any like, Gut issues like i b s or anything, you know, that's symptomatic that you've been dealing with a lot, or if you've had constant sinuses, like there's so many symptoms that you could be experiencing that you're just sort of like neglecting. And I neglected so many signs of, um, what I was experiencing at the time.

[00:38:26] Abby: 'cause I was like, I'll just get through it. Oh. Like I'll just push through. Um, You know, you create all these excuses for yourself, just for the sake of your business. Business, yeah. For the sake of work, for the sake of your clients and success. And, um, all of that is beautiful. But like, if that's not, if you are not, you know, optimized within yourself and you're not even getting enough, like good quality sleep, like, you know, what's the point of people paying you all this money when really you are not actually performing at your best and you're like, you're not thriving in.

[00:38:59] Abby: Your life or in [00:39:00] your business. And I think that integrity is really a really key value of mine. And I, I, I lead with, um, By example, basically, like I, I will always do that. I'm very embodied in what I do. Yeah. I wouldn't be throwing the word embodiment around if I wasn't truly actually doing the things behind the scenes to actually optimize myself, my brain cognition, my gut, my health, my hormones, my my work life balance, um, my relationships and how I nourish them and care for them.

[00:39:32] Abby: And it, it is just a whole holistic way of, um, building a business. And because, you know, business is just one extension of you. Like you have your whole, you have your whole life, you have your whole life outside of your business. And as much as our business gives us so much life and it, there's so much passion there, it can also be so detrimental to.

[00:39:51] Abby: Um, your health, your health long term, and Ill mm-hmm. Like in like, long-term illnesses, diseases, and we just wanna be able to like, stop that as much as possible. Um, now, um, so that you are, yeah. You're, you're setting, uh, good habits and behaviors, especially also if you wanna raise children. Like, it's really important too that you, you're not passing on any, um, bad habits or, um mm-hmm.

[00:40:16] Abby: You know, mindset blocks onto them as well.

[00:40:20] Bec: Yeah. And I think it's like crazy, isn't it? Because, you know, uh, I think the entrepreneur space was big before Covid, but obviously really, really, really grew during Covid and it was a time where everyone, you know, hustle and the kind of, that was where I almost saw bro marketing really grow because no one really had any time to do.

[00:40:41] Bec: No one had anything else to do other than work on their business. I know that was definitely the pattern that I was in. You're like, we can't go out, we can't do this, we can't do this. Like, all we can do is go for a walk. And again, that's, you know, some more excuses to add in, but there's, I. There was a time where that hustle was so part of it and it was so part of everyone's messaging as well.

[00:41:02] Bec: And I feel like I've really seen the shift both online and what people are talking about. And I think this is kind of like as you came into your own, was when we started to really move away from that and everyone was like, oh my God, like my health is shocked. I am really burnt out. I am constantly thinking about my business and I didn't really start it for this.

[00:41:24] Bec: What are the biggest things that you see? Within the clients that you work with, the clients that you serve, that your community, that they've, that they're kind of falling foul to when it comes to growing their business but not really looking after their health. Where are like the biggest red flags for you?

[00:41:41] Bec: Would you say?

[00:41:44] Abby: Um, I would say the amount of work that they're putting in, because I think Covid and like working from home can sort of suck you into working all hours of the day. Um, and this can lead into like resentment. [00:42:00] Um, Which leads into like your friendships and your relationship, and it can impact like your mood and your energy if you're just, and, and even your clients, like just over-delivering, like over like, Overdelivering to everyone else, like kind of the people pleasing stuff as well.

[00:42:16] Abby: Mm. Like, um, you know, bending over backwards for others when you haven't even eaten and it's like 2:00 PM Yeah. Like it's, it's the little things like that. Um, and it's not, it's, it's the, there's like a worthiness piece of like, oh, I don't, I, I. I, I need to do this and, and, and sort of like a reward piece as well.

[00:42:36] Abby: Like I need to feel like fulfilled and like I've achieved this and then I can eat or then I can go for a walk or then I can go to the gym. But then that doesn't happen all week. Um, yeah. And so there, there's that. There's like, There's also, um, like the self-trust thing, like just trusting in your decisions.

[00:42:57] Abby: Owning, owning your worth, and owning what, like what you have time for and what you don't. Mm. And setting boundaries, I think as well, like, yeah, I think that's a huge one. Being able to trust in those decisions and being like, you know, this is what I want. And actually knowing what you want and being very clear on that.

[00:43:18] Abby: Um, and those are a few things like, um, and then I would say that like it's, it's the whole piece around if your business is coming before you, that's a huge red flag for me. Mm-hmm. Um, I think you. To be successful and to have an optimized business, we need to work with your nervous system and have and build that capacity and that window of tolerance to be able to hold more and to be able to grow and to not feel triggered or impacted by little things that happen in your business that then make you feel like you've gotta continue working or overworking or getting it done.

[00:44:03] Abby: And, You know, at all cost, like mm-hmm. No matter the cost and the cost is women's health. The cost is women not taking care of themselves on optimal level, and that's where we can run into difficulties with getting symptomatic gut issues. Um, low self-esteem, low confidence, constantly feeling stressed and like not feeling productive, procrastinating.

[00:44:34] Abby: Um, it, it, it filters into all of that. Um, I. It's, it's fulfilling your basic needs, like sleep, hydration, nourishment, eating three meals a day, not skipping breakfast, not relying on coffee to get you through till 3:00 PM Um, it's all of these things and it's, it's just, it's deciding that you don't wanna continue working like this anymore.

[00:44:58] Abby: Like what is your relationship [00:45:00] like with work? You know, we have to be able to establish more healthy boundaries and. To help you, like, feel good every day, like wake up feeling excited, feeling aligned, like feeling embodied and you know, having fun in your business. Creating more play into your day and, and getting back into the things that you loved as a kid.

[00:45:23] Abby: Mm-hmm. You know, if music was your thing, then like, you know, I, I've just got, I've just bought a, um, like a keyboard 'cause I miss playing. Like music and I miss playing the guitar and you know, I wanna get into painting. 'cause I used to love drawing and painting as a kid. Like, we leave all these fun things behind to be like adults.

[00:45:43] Abby: Hmm. Um, to run a business and be like a boss bitch. But like, where's the fun? Where's the like, I wanna travel. I wanna see the world, I wanna explore like, I wanna like actually live my life. Um, like my business is just a one little part of me, but it's not everything. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think you can still make a huge impact and you can still make a lot of money, um, and still hold a lot of success without, I.

[00:46:11] Abby: But you can do it smarter and you don't have to sacrifice your health for that. And it, it's just not worth it because without your health, like what do you have? Yeah. Like you've got nothing. So yeah, I think that's just, it's a get, yeah. Not settling for average. Not settling, settling for healthy, but more like the new standard is like optimal in my world.

[00:46:33] Bec: Yeah. I love that. And I think there's, this is why I was so excited for you to step into this because this is a fricking message that needs to, to be heard, and it really is like, not enough people, not enough female entrepreneurs are looking towards that to help them grow their business because they don't see that as the case.

[00:46:52] Bec: And, and you know, like, I obviously don't, I don't work in the, the health realms within my. Coaching container, but within my mentorship, when we do mindset, a lot of it is the habits that you have in and outside of your business that really are having an impact. And I know when I'm at Optimal Health, my energy is better, therefore I show up more, therefore I sell more.

[00:47:12] Bec: That it's that knock on effect, isn't it? It's not just the. Learning the strategy and then being able to execute it. It's like, okay, like what else am I having that's going to support me to be able to, like you said, still have the success, but actually just have a really fricking good time doing it. Like I think that's like one of the things for me, especially when I came home and I saw this a lot because in Australia, and you said this earlier, You know, I was very lonely, like it was me and my ex and didn't really have any friends and I didn't really do anything.

[00:47:44] Bec: So there was nothing else to do other than work on my business. And my ex never liked going out anyway, so I was like, well, if you are gonna play PlayStation, I'll go and work on my business. Like that's how it's gonna be. So when I got home and I was like, Okay, now I've got [00:48:00] friends and Jack's here and like we wanna do things all the time and we wanna go and have experiences and have fun.

[00:48:07] Bec: That was like a huge thing that I had to work through in the way of like balance, because I was like, oh no. Like I can't show up on stories every day now because one, I don't want to, and two, I'm just fucking having a good time. And it's that, like that polarity of the balance, isn't it? You know, I was almost forced into doing that.

[00:48:26] Bec: I was, I was almost like forced into. Creating the balance because if I'd stayed in Australia, I would've carried on doing the thing. But where would you say for people to start, if they're like so all consumed in their business, not eat until three horrendous hours, which is fine. I know it's coming from the best intentions of the fact that you wanna be successful.

[00:48:48] Bec: We know that. But. Now you've heard this podcast and I can, I can hear in your, in your head, we're in your ears right now and you're going, oh, okay, this needs to be addressed. Where would you say for them to start, if they were to start on this journey?

[00:49:04] Abby: Well, I'll tell you where you don't start again, which is downloading.

[00:49:09] Abby: More freebies, investing into more courses, investing into the next marketing strategy, the next business course. Like, trust me, girl, I've been there. I've fucking done every strategy and every strategy works. It's the one that actually feels good for you, but if you don't feel good, then how do you know what you really need?

[00:49:28] Abby: Mm-hmm. Right? So it's like where do you start? Like. Whenever I start with my clients, like I just, we just have a conversation to see what's like really coming up and usually it's like a Pandora's box that just gets opened and it's just, mm. There's so much to unpack and that, but, and that's why I always, I, I have a long term, like a longer.

[00:49:50] Abby: Mentorship container. Yeah. Like, and I, that's why I love loved working with you because I was like, oh, I've got six months to, you know, be with Beck and we can work through so much together. Like, I was never in the mindset of like, I need like a six week accelerator program. Quick in, get me, yeah, the results like quickly and I can like get a quick cash injection into my business and then I'll feel okay.

[00:50:13] Abby: And then I'll be happy. Trust me, no matter, like even if you get all the money right now, like you're not going to actually feel what you think you're going to feel. You can, you can feel what you wanna feel at any point in time if you choose, but it's a choice. Um, so yeah, what I'll, what I'll say to that is that, you know, you've just gotta start with getting curious about yourself in how you're showing up and what you ideally want.

[00:50:44] Abby: How does your ideal day look? How does your lifestyle look like? Really actually sitting down with yourself and going like, You know what, like I'm actually not really that fulfilled and happy in the way that I'm working. I don't love my office space. Like I'd [00:51:00] rather be at like a cafe or I'd rather be out in different environments.

[00:51:02] Abby: I'd probably rather actually be in Bali right now. And being a digital nomad actually, um, you know, like you don't, we don't have to be tied to our desk. We don't have to be tied to our offices. Like we can create the life that we want at any point in time and we can feel into. How we wanna feel. We can like literally like imagine like how our higher self or the woman that is earning 20 K month, 50 K months, a hundred K a month, and be like, okay, how would she be showing up every day?

[00:51:31] Abby: How would she be like living her life? I. Like, what would she be doing? Would she be working four hours a day, six hours a day, eight hours a day? What feels good? Is she working Fridays? No. Okay. Is she working Mondays? No. No. When's her client calls? Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Cool. Like what is she doing Wednesdays or like, you know, are you taking we, um, monthly getaways with your partner and going to like these bougie hotels and having like, Spa days.

[00:51:56] Abby: I don't know. Like you can literally create whatever life you want. This is like the beautiful thing about life and about getting into spaces with people that are going to expand you and expand the possibilities for you and normalizing these things because this shit is fucking like real. Like you can actually create that.

[00:52:13] Abby: But it comes back down to like being able to believe that and actually being able to shift those belief, knowing that you can shift those beliefs and. People live in this, their current mindset for as long as they choose to live, and that that's perfect and fine. But I'm sure that the women listening to this podcast actually want more from themselves.

[00:52:34] Abby: They want more from their lives. They're sick of feeling stuck. They're sick of feeling overwhelmed. They're sick, sick of being in their head all the time. They want clarity. They want more confidence to show up, you know, on the daily without it feeling like a fucking like, Carrying up a ton of bricks up a hill.

[00:52:51] Abby: Like, you know, we want to feel light, we want to have ease in our business. We want to have play and connection and love and lots of money and lots of wealth and lots of riches. Not only tangibly, but like internally. We want that freedom, like this is what we want. We want freedom every single day. And you can actually tap into that every single day, which is.

[00:53:11] Abby: So, so beautiful. Like what a beautiful opportunity that is. Mm-hmm. Um, but it comes down to you deciding that you want that and going all in on yourself and getting into those spaces with. The women that are going to, you know, hold you to that higher standard for yourself, just like you did for me. And like, fuck, look at where I am now.

[00:53:32] Abby: Like my, my whole mindset trajectory is just so different. Like, you opened up a complete new world for me that I'm just, I feel so goddamn fucking. Like lit up in, and it's just like such a party every day now. Like I just, I love my life. I've fallen in love with it like more than ever. I've fallen in love with my partner more than ever.

[00:53:57] Abby: Um, we've been together, um, basically since [00:54:00] Covid, so like three and a half years. And, um, like I, I love where I live. I love waking up every day and doing what I love. Um, I get to travel, I get to. You know, I get to experience the life that I want to, and this is all possible when you go all in on yourself and you take that risk and.

[00:54:24] Abby: When you, when you trust that you know that this is what you want and that you can do the work, and that you can lean in and create a new baseline of safety, because I, I know a lot of, like women can feel quite dysregulated investing into themselves, but if you're, if we're able to create a new level of safety within your nervous system, To feel more comfortable with taking more risks.

[00:54:48] Abby: 'cause that's what life's about. Mm-hmm. Like, you gotta take risks, gotta like experience life. Yeah. You know, money comes and goes, money flows, it comes to you, you know, you deliver it to where you, you to the things that you value in your life. And for me, I, I value mentorship more than ever. I wish everyone would have a mentor, like just.

[00:55:08] Abby: In life. Yeah. And, um, you know, the world would be such a much more beautiful place I think if everyone had a mentor. But yeah, that's what I'll say to that. I think like, just going all in on yourself is just like, will always be the best decision you will ever fucking make. Mm.

[00:55:24] Bec: I loved every single moment of that.

[00:55:27] Bec: My, in fact, my cheeks are hurting so much because they're literally like, I put my eyelids, I'm smiling too

[00:55:34] Abby: much. You know, I, on a real, like, she was gone.

[00:55:39] Bec: She was on her TED Talk and I was fucking here for. I was like, this is gonna be the perfect clip for the

[00:55:46] Abby: social media post. I know. I was like, in my head, I was actually thinking about like, we're gonna make this, this one good.

[00:55:52] Abby: This is the gold.

[00:55:53] Bec: This is the gold. Um, but where can people find you? Thank you so much for coming. I want them to be in your magic experience. Your magic work with you in your magic. So where can people find you and, um, what does that look like?

[00:56:09] Abby: That looks like stalking me on my Instagram and then falling into my dms just like I did when I have a, I have a podcast as well, which um, yes, you can all check out as well.

[00:56:22] Abby: Um, it's called the I AM Project podcast. Um, so you can have a little listen to that. I also have a Facebook group you can become part of as well. And um, yeah, Instagram's where I hang out a lot. Um, but just like coming to my dms, I actually just love talking to, um, women in business. Like, I just, I think it's so cool that we're all doing this thing.

[00:56:45] Abby: Um, and I just love learning. I love like getting to know what people do in their business and like how they're doing things and how everything's going. And like, I just, I love, I think like, Sometimes in business, like what we've touched on [00:57:00] today can be quite like lonely and mm-hmm. Like, I definitely feel that at times sometimes, but, um, it helps just, you know, reaching out.

[00:57:08] Abby: Like, you know, it's, it's not always about like, you know, getting sales or like, no, not icky in any way. Like I've been through that, trust me. But, um, it's not like that. It's complete genuine, like love and like a great place to just. B, like you can always hang out in my dms. I, I love talking to, um, to so many different and, and create so many different connections.

[00:57:31] Abby: Like you are literally on the other side of the world, world right now, which is just hard blow my mind, you know? So it's just, you never know who you might meet and who you like the connections that you make and how that might, you know, Like flourish in the future. It's just, it's such a beau like what a beautiful world we get to live in.

[00:57:50] Abby: And this has just been so beautiful. So yeah, just thank you so much be, this has been, no, my pleasure's so nice. It's been

[00:57:57] Bec: a breath of fresh air for me and for everyone listening, I am sure. So thank you so. So much for coming along. Thank you for letting me hold you in six months worth of mentorship and it is just incredible seeing what you're doing now, what you've gone on to do and what you will go on to do.

[00:58:14] Bec: So I love you and thank you for coming on.

[00:58:17] Abby: Love you. Thank you. See you all

[00:58:19] Bec: later.

More about Higher Self & I:

Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!

Rebecca Haydon

Success Story: From a Constant Hustle to an Aligned Business with Abbey Renee [ep.141]

Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self and I!

Topics covered on Building an Aligned Business: