Do You Keep Getting in the Way of Your Own Success? [ep.131]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self and I!
Do you keep getting in the way of your own success? If the answer is a big fat yes, then you are in the right place today! I know you; I was you! You want to be a wealthy CEO, have freedom in your life and business, grow and scale your business at a rapid rate, and you can see yourself doing it but… You repeatedly fall into the vicious cycle of habits and behaviour patterns that don’t support you in stepping into the higher version of yourself.
It's your subconscious mind that's holding you back from unlocking your full potential. It doesn’t let you take the action that you KNOW you need to take if you want to achieve those big income goals you set for yourself.
Because it doesn't matter if you know you can achieve something if you are not actually doing the things to achieve it. So let’s talk about the four biggest reasons why you keep getting in the way of your success and what you can do to finally step into your higher self, baby!
Topics covered on Getting in the Way of Your Own Success:
What is achievement anxiety, and how can it hold you back from your success?
What can you do to overcome achievement anxiety and embrace the success you desire?
My struggle with achievement anxiety and how I handle it when it comes up again.
A powerful exercise to embody your expertise and overcome imposter syndrome when stepping into the higher self.
Judgment jitters and strategies you can use to overcome the fear of judgment and focus on taking action.
What is failure fright, and how can it hold you back from your success?
Reframing failure and developing resilience in the face of potential setbacks.
How to identify which one of the four reasons keeps getting in the way of your success?
Quote:
“It doesn't matter if you know you can achieve something, if you are not actually doing the things to achieve it.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Welcome to The Higher Self and I your go-to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one-way ticket towards the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and your business. I'm your host, Rebecca Haydon Mindset and business mentor ready to help. You unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass, CEO, who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing. Let's go baby. Hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to Higher Self and I, I am so glad that you are here. I am so glad that I'm in your ears and I'm absolutely loving the comments that I've been having from the podcast of recent.
[00:01:03] I think things have been landing, aha moments have been being had. I will talk English maybe in this podcast, and I'm just really, really loving that you are having breakthroughs from literally listening to the podcast. I had a comment the other day that was just so wonderful how this gorgeous, gorgeous lady had said that she was having a bit of a meltdown.
[00:01:30] And she listened to, to a certain podcast and she went away and she did the things that I told her to do in the podcast, and things shifted and she actually ended up getting two inquiries, like how freaking. Incredible is that, and I think that's why I love the podcast so much. That's why I love sitting down to record it.
[00:01:49] That's why I love being in your ears every single Tuesday on whatever day you choose to listen to me. So today's podcast, we are looking at something a little bit Drey, Drey, Drey. And that is because it is something that I keep seeing crop up. Every single time when it comes to achieving the success that you want, and that is you getting in the way of it.
[00:02:22] So do you keep getting in the way of your own success? If the answer is a big fat yes, then you are in the right goddamn place today. My love. We're gonna dive deep. So you wanna be a wealthy c e o. You wanna live and you want to lead your business with more intention. You want to grow and scale your business at a rapid rate.
[00:02:48] You wanna feel unfreaking stoppable, but. And the big, but you keep finding yourself stuck in a cycle of unproductive habits [00:03:00] or lack of focus. And what that's actually doing, and you can see yourself doing it most of the time, is it's holding you back from achieving your full, full potential. It's holding you back from achieving your big income goals.
[00:03:12] It's holding you back from playing bigger, from, from being bigger, from creating more from standing out. And I see this time and time again with my clients. They have the vision tick, they have the skillset tick. They have the strategy nine times outta 10 tick. But just like you, their mindset holds them back.
[00:03:34] And I, and I think like a lot of people think that mindset is just believing in your dreams and seeing it there. And yes, visualization. And yes, whilst this is very freaking important, there is so much more to it and it doesn't matter. If you know that you can achieve something, if you are not actually doing the things to achieve it, I'll say it again.
[00:04:01] It doesn't matter if you know you can achieve something, if you are not actually doing the things to achieve it. So today what I wanted to do is I wanted to dive into four of the biggest reasons that I see powerhouses just like you getting in their own way, and maybe you resonate with one of them, maybe you resonate with all four of them, and maybe we need to have a sit down and talk about it.
[00:04:26] But I wanted to. Show you the four biggest reasons and the four biggest things that I see when it comes to, um, when it comes to getting in the way of your own success. And I'll tell you which one I, wh which I, which camp I fall in every now and again too. So I'm gonna go through the four biggest reasons, and then within, within each of those reasons, I'm then gonna go on and tell you what you can do if that one feels the most prominent for you right now.
[00:04:55] So let's dive the frig. In number one, achievement anxiety. What I mean by that is the fear of fricking success. And a lot of time when we are getting in the way of our own success, what I see is that it feels too scary to actually own what you want. It feels too scary to actually go. Oh my God, that's what I want.
[00:05:28] It feels too scary to have the success, to have the money, to have the clients, and nine times out of 10 you, you get a bit like cross with yourself because you're like, be like, honestly, this is what I want. Like I want this, I wanna be playing bigger. I wanna be. Speaking on stages. I want the book tour. I want the TED talk.
[00:05:48] I want the million pounds, I want the whatever else. The big scary goal is for you. You know, you want it consciously, but subconsciously [00:06:00] it scares the. Fucking shit out of you to actually have it in your life. And the the questions around how will I deal with it when I get it? Will I lose friends when I get there?
[00:06:11] Will people want more money from me? Um, will I be able to handle that amount of success? Will I be able to handle the negative comments? Will people think differently of me? And this camp holds you back from actually doing the thing. Now, lo and behold, I've started with the camp that I fall into and that I've had to do a lot of freaking work around, to be honest.
[00:06:37] And what I've found, and I'll be very honest with you, but what I've found more so since moving back from Australia is I've actually. Lost a lot of friends I've asked. I've actually lost a lot of my friends who I used to have before I moved to Australia, and I thought I didn't really speak to them a lot when I was in Australia, purely because I was in Australia, but now I'm back in the uk.
[00:06:59] I've actually found that because I changed so much as a person. During my self-development, um, journey and because I've changed so much with my boundaries, the biggest one because I've changed so much with how my life is and I go traveling a lot and I have more money than I used to have, I lost a lot of friends and.
[00:07:22] I think that's like, one of the things that used to come up for me so much was like, what will people say? What will people think? Um, what beliefs will people have about me? And it was like this fear of being successful. And I remember I used to say, um, I used to say like, I'm almost too, it almost feels too powerful for me to be like, I almost feel like I will be too powerful for even my sail self to handle.
[00:07:50] And this was like, When I was really thinking about stepping into my higher self, so there was a lot of, um, work that I had to do around it. There was a lot of work that I had to do around the inchi, the achievement anxiety section of this podcast, and actually things did happen that I was scared of happening.
[00:08:09] People did leave my life. People did get triggered by me, but actually I understood how I was going to handle it before it happened. So when it did happen, I did handle it and I'm okay. And I will create new friends and I will create new relationships and I will create, there's lots of different things that happened through it, but equally, I went and pushed through it.
[00:08:32] So does achievement anxiety ring any bell bells for you? That kind of scared of actually owning what you want? Scared of actually stepping into who you want to be through the fear of success. That is one big camp that I see. The second camp that we're going to move into today is fraud. Frenzy. Yes. I've alliterated every single one of these.
[00:08:58] We've had achievement [00:09:00] anxiety, and now we're moving into fraud Frenzy. And that is the one and only imposter syndrome and the fear of not being the real deal. Now, this comes up a lot and actually came up in one of the sessions that I had with one of my gorgeous clients, one of my three month, one-to-one clients.
[00:09:20] Um, this week actually, it was our last session together, and it came up because she really felt like she couldn't fully own. What she was talking about and to an extent, I was in this camp too, probably around 20 20, 20 21, because when you are speaking about playing bigger and being bigger and you haven't achieved the goals that you wanna achieve yet, it kind of makes you feel a little bit like a fraud.
[00:09:55] However, there is such a powerful embodiment piece around imposter syndrome and around the fear of not being the real deal. And this comes back to being as if, because when we fall into that camp and when I see my clients fall into that camp, a lot of the times it's coming from subconscious beliefs that are just absolute bullshit.
[00:10:17] Anyway, so. There's always gonna be imposter syndrome there. Like even the biggest, um, even the biggest business owners feel imposter syndrome somehow, somewhere in some way, shape or form. And I think just knowing that if you can actually embody what you are teaching, embody what you're selling, embody of really stepping into that being as if it's no longer act as if it's be as if.
[00:10:43] And I've said that on podcast many, many times before, but actually it's really, really. Stepping into that power. And that was something that really freaking changed the trajectory of my business. And I remember doing a podcast interview with, with Helen actually at Girl and Filtered, and I was on her podcast.
[00:11:01] I'll link it below if you haven't listened. Um, We talk a lot about content and visibility, cuz that was what I was really focusing in on at the time. But I talked about how really getting over this kind of fear of not being the real deal, um, was through the embodiment of me just going, you know what?
[00:11:19] Fuck it. I'm gonna step into it and I'm gonna believe it myself so other people can feel that energy online. So when I see kind of the imposter syndrome, it's the questioning your every, your, every decision. It's the kind of feeling like you can't show up in the way that you want to because you are quote unquote, not there yet.
[00:11:40] Are we ever there yet? Um, all of these kind of thoughts coming up around being an impost, being fraud. Not being the real deal that actually gets in the way of your success and it stops you because you think that you are not ready or you think you are not there yet, or you think that your clients are not going [00:12:00] to believe what you are teaching them.
[00:12:02] All of these things are coming up when really actually you do freaking know what you're talking about. And if you didn't, you would go and find out. You would go and learn. You would go and be a step ahead of your clients and actually really stepping into that belief. So number two of getting in your own way.
[00:12:22] Fraud frenzy, imposter syndrome. Oh yes. Number three, ready for the alliteration? Haha. Number three is the judgment jitters, the fear of judgment. What will other people think of me? If I actually step into this, what are other people gonna say? What are my friends from before going to say, what is my old boss going to say?
[00:12:47] What is my family going to say? And this stops you from being successful. It stops you from stepping into the life that you actually really freaking want. And I think this goes hand in hand with number one that I was talking about, the achievement anxiety, you know, like that feels too scary to actually own what you want.
[00:13:08] And fear of judgment, again, was a huge thing that I had to break through. Um, and still to this day, like things crop up and I'm like, oh God, like I need to, I need to calm down a bit. Or oh God, like, This month's been a little bit too successful. Maybe I need to pull back a little bit and I really have to check in with myself and, and, and go, no, it's fine.
[00:13:31] Like maybe people are judging you, but what the fuck can you do about it anyway? You know, it's on them. It's their map of the world, it's their story. I had an incredible podcast about fear of judgment. I'll tag it in the show notes. Um, But the Fear of Judgment podcast went down an absolute hoot, and there was lots of reframes in that.
[00:13:50] So definitely go and, and listen to that podcast as well. But yes, I, I see the fear of judgment come up so often that stops you from getting, like, that gets in the way of your own success because you're so busy being focused on what other people will think that you stop taking the action, you spend all your energy and.
[00:14:12] All your time focusing on what other people will think that you then procrastinate on the things that you just need to bloody do anyway. So number three, judgment jitters, fear of judgment. And then the last camp, and the last reason that I see powerhouses getting in the way of their own success is failure fright.
[00:14:32] Oh yes, the last alliteration. The last alliteration for today. And that's the fear of failure. And probably one of the biggest ones that I see if I'm honest, because I think as a human it is so natural to, I mean, we are programmed to look at the negatives. You know, when we were cavemen, we had to seek out [00:15:00] the lions that were gonna chase us and eat us.
[00:15:02] We had to be hyper aware of them. And so that make, that makes us now very hyper aware of. What if it all goes wrong? What could go wrong? What if this doesn't work and we get so again, hyper-focused on it not working or it potentially not working, or it might not become a thing that we put all our focus there and then lo and behold, it fricking doesn't because you're proving yourself right.
[00:15:32] The subconscious looks for evidence. So if that's the thoughts you are thinking, it will go and find the evidence to prove that to be true. And you know what? What happens if it doesn't actually happen? And I think with the fear of failure, what I always say to my clients is, okay, let's play. Let's play the fear till the end.
[00:15:53] What happens if it doesn't actually happen? What will you do? You'll solve it, you'll sort it out. You'll try something new. You know, I always used to do it when I, um, was first moving to Australia. Like everyone thought I was absolutely batshit crazy when I was moving to Australia and, and I said to them, I was like, well, what's the bloody worst that can happen?
[00:16:14] I've spent money on the flight. I get there, I don't like it. Or you know, we don't get on or I miss my family, what do I do? I get a fucking flight home. Is it really that big of a deal? Is it really gonna stop me from going, doing something that actually ended up changing my life because it meant that I started my business?
[00:16:33] So actually that fear of failure is holding you back from being successful because you are playing into the fears that probably will never, ever come true. You know those nights when you're lying in bed and you think of every fucking possible reason as to why your business is not gonna come true or what's gonna happen, or that you're gonna go to jail, I don't know.
[00:16:56] Does that ever come true? No, it bloody doesn't. So why are we spending time in the failure fright when actually it never comes to fruition anyway. And even if it did come to fruition, you would be able to handle it. You would be able to handle it. So these are the four camps that I see people falling into.
[00:17:18] Achievement anxiety, which is the fear of success, fraud, frenzy, the imposter syndrome, and fear of not being the real deal. Judgment jitters, the fear of judgment of peers, friends, family. What if it doesn't happen? How fricking embarrassing. And then failure, fright, the fear of failure. What happens if it doesn't actually happen?
[00:17:38] Now, as I've been going through these four, One might have resonated most for you. All four might have resonated or a couple might have resonated. Whichever one has resonated with you, I want you to just go and ask yourself a few questions around it. So with the kind of fear of success, The [00:18:00] achievement anxiety.
[00:18:01] I want you to start to have a look at how you will handle that success. I've done a lot of podcasts around this, especially when you are kind of up-leveling, moving to the next level of your business. How are you going to deal with it? Teach the subconscious mind, show it, visualize it. And start putting it into action to show the subconscious that it's not as scary as you think it is safe for me to be in this next level.
[00:18:25] It is safe for me to step into this. Really have a think about that. If fraud, frenzy, imposter syndrome has been your biggest, um, warning sign today, really go and have a look at really being as if. It's all about the belief of yourself with imposter syndrome and just see where that lack of belief is coming from.
[00:18:52] Is it your voice that you hear? Is it someone else's around you that you hear? Who is it that tell that's telling you that you're not good enough? Who is it that tell, that's telling you that you're impost, that you're an imposter? And then go and do work on that belief. If you need help with that, you know where I am from one to one.
[00:19:09] Or to be honest, even in the membership, women are getting such incredible breakthroughs in the higher self society membership. At the moment. We are looking at procrastination right now, but imposter syndrome is definitely going to be a topic that I cover in the next couple of months, and you can join the membership anytime throughout the month and all of the things will be in there too.
[00:19:30] Now, if judgment jitters, the fear of judgment is your bag, what I want you to really think about is okay. If people are judging me, it is their map of the world. It is how they've been brought up. It's the beliefs that they've had. It's the stories, it's the conditioning, it's their perception. It has actually got nothing to do with you.
[00:19:58] It is just mirroring back to them what they lack or what they need to work on. And that is a them thing. It is not a you thing. So we don't need to let fear of judgment get in the way. And then the last one, the fear of failure. Just like I said, failure, fright. Play the fear till the end. Okay, well, if it was to happen, how would I handle it?
[00:20:19] If it was to happen, what would happen? What would I do? And just shut the fear up because it's like, actually, either way I'm gonna deal with it. So why are we gotta focus on it? We don't. So if you are putting off important tasks and you're wasting hours on doing something that feels productive, but you didn't make any money or you spent half your time making plans, watching the new master classes to get inspired, and then you don't implement anything from them.
[00:20:47] Or if you keep saying that you want multi five figure months, uh, multi six figure business, and then you wake up every day doing the same thing that kept you at that low cash months. Probably isn't [00:21:00] strategy. It's going to be mindset, and it's gonna be one of those camps. So what do you say? Is it time? I think it's time.
[00:21:08] I think it's time to finally overcome your real problem. So that you can break three and you can amplify your fricking genius. Let me know in the dms, drop on in over on Instagram and tell me which camper that you are in. Achievement, anxiety, fraud, frenzy, judgment jitters, or failure fright. I hope you remember my wonderful alliteration and if you do want help with this, if you do wanna get out of the way.
[00:21:40] Of yourself and you want to step into that freaking successful business. I have spots opening for my private mentorship and it's yours to claim. So drop on in and I will see you in the next episode. Love you Lord. Your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast. So if you have enjoyed the episode today, please make sure that you are sharing.
[00:22:07] Or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear rolls. Now, if we are not connected on Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore. Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!