Why Your Money Story Is Holding You Back From Massive Wealth [ep. #109]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self & I!
Do you find yourself having the same money issues all over again? Do you feel like you are stuck on the same monthly revenue, whether it’s 2K, 5K, or 10K? Maybe one month you finally hit your dream number, and you think: “Yes, finally! I made it! It will just go higher and higher from here!” But when the next month comes, you go back to the same income as previous months. You thought that was your big break, so what the heck happened? It almost feels like an invisible force holds you back from stepping into the next level of wealth, right?
That’s you and your money story, hun! I hear this with my one-on-one coaching clients all the time. They feel like they hit a wall and can’t climb over it, no matter how hard they try. Then they start feeling stagnant and wonder why they are stuck in the current reality, why they can’t step into that higher version of themselves and attract massive wealth. In today’s podcast episode, I help you to do exactly that!
Tune in as I share with you how you can identify your money story, where it came from, what you make it to mean about you and your business, how you can shift into the new identity of your new money story, and much more!
Topics covered on Money Story:
What to do when you hit a wall and start feeling stagnant in your business?
A little challenge for you to identify your money story.
How to identify your behavior around money?
Some of my biggest money stories and what experiences created them.
Journal prompts to help you become aware of your money story.
When do we take on our biggest learnings around money?
Why do you need to detach yourself from money?
How did I help my client shift into the identity of the new money story?
What is a Friday Money Date and why should you start having it too?
Friday Money Date exercise that will help you to step into control of your money.
Why do you find yourself having the same money struggles all over again?
How can I support you in stepping into the next level of wealth?
Journal prompts:
What was the feeling about money like in the home where you grew up?
What was the feeling like about spending money?
What was the feeling like about saving money?
What was the feeling like about giving money away?
What’s your earliest money memory?
What messages did your mom/dad/caretaker pass down to you about money?
Do you remember hearing your parents talk about (or fight about) money?
Growing up, did you have more than/less than/about the same as your peers?
Connect with Bec:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
Quote:
“If you constantly find yourself in the same money issues, that's because you're not allowing yourself to be beyond your current reality.” - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Welcome to The Higher Self & I your go-to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one-way ticket towards the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and your business. I'm your host, Rebecca Haydon, mindset and Business Mentor. Ready. You unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass, c e o, who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing. Let's go baby. Hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to Higher Self & I, I hope you're well. I hope you're having a good day. Let's dive into today's episode. So today is all about diving into your money story and what is holding you back from massive wealth because quite frankly, January is here to bring massive wealth for you, and I want you to not only be in the most profound, solid foundational mindset to be able to allow wealth to come in, but to also be able to hold it, to hold it and sustain it and keep it as well.
[00:01:27] Now a lot of my clients, when they first come to work with me, especially my one-to-one six month clients, a lot of them are feeling quite stuck. Quite stagnant in their business. Maybe they have hit, um, an amount of money or an amount of reoccurring revenue and it just seems to be that they're hitting a wall and they can't get any further than that.
[00:01:49] And a lot of the time it comes down to the money story that they're holding, the way they feel around money, the way they handle money, the way they grew up around money. And a lot of this has quite a big impact on how they actually move forwards with their business. So I really wanted to spend some time today in today's podcast episode to actually dive into your own money story.
[00:02:11] I'm gonna be talking about my money story as well, and actually understanding where that story comes from. We're gonna have a look at what you are making that mean and what you make the money mean. We're having a look at your money ideas and then we're gonna have a look at shifting the identity to the n new story.
[00:02:27] So it's a full on episode, guys. , buckle in. Get your notebooks. We are ready to go. So let's first of all have a look at identifying your money story. And this actually comes from being very, Of how you feel and how you behave around money. So what I actually would suggest for you to do is to set up a little challenge for yourself in the next couple of days.
[00:02:55] Maybe you do it for the rest of the week. If you're listening to this, when the podcast episode comes out on a Tuesday, I want you to grab a notebook or maybe even start a new note on your. Um, notes app on your phone about how you behave around money. So this really starts to bring the awareness of how that feels.
[00:03:14] So I want you to have a look at lots of different things around money, how it feels when you spend money, maybe how it feels when you invest money, maybe how it feels when you. Give money when you receive money, when you are around money, when you are opening your bank account. You know, a lot of my clients come to me when we first start working together and they're like, Beck, I can't even open my bank account.
[00:03:35] It's too scary. I'd rather not look. So it's actually becoming very aware of the identity that you hold around money. and how you are behaving around it as well. Because remember, money is energy. We never really, unless you receive cash, maybe you got a couple of Christmas cards, there's some cash in it, but you know, we very, very rarely hold that piece of paper or hold the coins.
[00:04:01] We see it on a screen. There's a certain amount of numbers there and we believe that to be true. And it's not in physical form , it's there on, on a screen that we are believing is that much. And that's what it is. The energy is what it's around it and we believe and, and. Kind of bring up ourself and our stories into what that money is for us and what the numbers actually mean.
[00:04:26] So when you start having a look at your money story, just start to have a look around your behaviors. Now, a lot of the time your behaviors are gonna come from the thoughts and feelings that are in your mind, are in your body. So once you've kind of seen your behaviors, you can start to see what thoughts and feelings you.
[00:04:43] Around those. So for instance, one of my biggest money stories, um, was that I had to give. . I was such a giver, and this meant that no matter how much money I had coming in, I always felt the need to give, to give out, to give back, to give to someone else, which is fine. It really is fine. However, it didn't always need to be that.
[00:05:10] All the time, you know, like I would spend a lot of money on partners or friends or my mom and dad. And actually I went back to where this story began and I remember that I used to go . Really silly story, but this is where the, this is where the belief came from. I used to go shopping. with my friends on a weekend, we would go to the local shopping center for, you know, go and have a look at clothes, visit Tammy Girl for those who, whoever went to Tammy Girl, um, and get, you know, have, my mom and dad used to give me money to go shopping and every single time.
[00:05:46] every single time without fail. And I can tell you quite a lot of the things that I bought, I would buy a present for them rather than buying something for me. So I would go shopping, I'd have this money, and then I would. Spend the money on them as a present. Now that's very nice, right? But they were giving me the money for me to use for myself.
[00:06:10] And I remember having a conversation and I brought this . I mean, some of the stuff I brought was very questionable, but I brought this, um, photo frame, which, you know, back in the day where you used to have like photo frame. Had little spiny things on them and stuff. I, it's really hard to explain, but I brought this photo frame from my mom and dad and that was kind of the pinnacle for them, where they sat me down and they were like, Beck, we were giving you this money for you to spend on you.
[00:06:37] If we wanted a photo frame that had a spinny thing on the end of it, , we would go and buy it ourself. Like, you don't need to keep buying stuff for us to give back or to, to make us feel happy or to make us feel. Better, whatever that is. Like you, it, it is okay for you to spend that money on yourself and looking back and kind of unpicking that money story, it came a lot from people pleasing, you know, like wanting to please my mom and dad wanting to please the people around me by giving them and almost buying my love for them, you know, when we really look at it in, in those deeper terms.
[00:07:14] But that was one part of my money story. So when I started my business and I had a lot of mo I had more money coming in. Than I ever had before. I was spending a lot on my, my previous partner. I was spending a lot on other things that we were doing, which was, is absolutely fine, but actually that money was for the business and to grow the business and actually invest back into the business.
[00:07:36] So hopefully that's given you some sort of identification on where you can look within that money story. Again, I know I spoke about this in a couple of podcast episodes back, another one of my money stories. When my dad had a very bad accident, I was only in year six at that point, so I was still very, um, kind of picking up what's going on.
[00:07:56] My mom and dad were models for me, so I was kind of around the conversations they were having and, you know, a lot of things happened because my dad couldn't work for so long and we didn't get any compensation for his accident. There was a lot of, there was a lot of shit with money and that I, I took on a lot of money beliefs around that time.
[00:08:15] And you know, one of the biggest beliefs that I took on was, you know, spending money when it's not mine, as in credit cards or, uh, next account. You know, I went through that whole phase before I moved to Australia. So have a look at your money story. , what were the feelings about money like in your house where you grew up?
[00:08:36] What was the feelings like about spending money? What was the feelings about saving money? What was the feelings about giving money away? What was your earliest money? Memory? Really spend some time going through and kind of picking these out with a fine tooth comb. You know? What messages did your mom or your dad.
[00:08:55] Your caregivers passed down to you about money? You know, one of mine was money doesn't grow on trees and we have to work hard to make money. That's, I grew up in that family and my mom and dad are so freaking hardworking and I love that. And I love that. I'm hardworking too, but it doesn't have to be in correlation with the amount of money I make, and it is not now.
[00:09:15] So having a look, you know what do you remember hearing your parents talk about or fight about money? Did you. Have more or less, or about the same as your friends? Was there anything around there? You know when you go to your friend's house and you're like, wow, God, this is a nice house . You know, like what sort of money stories did you take on as a child and remember?
[00:09:39] We take on our biggest learnings from the ages of zero to seven, so it'll probably go back to that time. You might not be able to remember anything, but spend some time. If you need help with this, this is what I do within my one-to-one sessions, so just ping me a DM if you want some more information.
[00:09:53] I've got my one month. Three month and six month one-to-one at the moment. But really going back and identifying your mo money story is really where you need to be. And actually from doing the, um, the little task that I set you at the start of this podcast, what that's going to help you become aware of is your money story.
[00:10:13] So you might not be aware of it at the moment. You know, I have done a shit ton of work on money mindset and that is why I. more than ready enough to kind of speak about my money story and teach about the money story that you are holding and hold you in a space where you can shift through your money story and come out as a wealthy, beautiful woman.
[00:10:35] So really have a look at that. Have a look at what your behaviors are around money. Where are the fears, where are the worries? Um, do every time you have to pay your coach or every time you have. and pay your team. Do you get that little ugh feeling in your, in your belly? Do you, every time you sign a client, do you think, fuck, where's the next bit of money gonna come in from?
[00:10:57] You know, what sort of stories identifications have you got around that? So hopefully step number one is full and clear for you, because I've spent a good 10 minutes talking about it. But I really want you to get so, so clear. The next thing I want you to do when it comes to your money story and actually having a look as to why it's holding you back from massive wealth is be aware of what you are making the money mean.
[00:11:28] This was so huge for me because I see it. I mean, I see it now. You know, if I'm not making 10 K, I'm not good enough. But this was huge for me when I first started my business because the lack of money that I had, I was making it mean something about me. I was making it mean something from an identity level, like I am not good enough.
[00:11:47] I am not worthy. I am not. This is never gonna happen for me. I was really making. Bloody digits on a screen that we never get to hold anyway. I was making it mean something about myself, and we need to detach from that. Money is money and you are you and detach from that feeling because when we start to detach, you stop holding that, that feelings or thoughts or the, the externals onto the money that you are making, you can detach from that.
[00:12:20] and really be neutral to the process of making money. So beware of what you're making it mean. And I always use this example, you know, if you saw a thousand pound 1, 0, 0, 0 wrote written down on a piece of paper, if it had a pound sign in front of it, what are you making that mean? If you were to see that all dollars, wherever.
[00:12:41] What are you, me making that number mean? What feelings do you have around that number? What thoughts do you have around that number? Now, imagine if I scribbled out the dollar or the pound sign and it was just 1, 0, 0, 0. I would hazard a guess. It wouldn't have the same meanings, the same feelings, the same thoughts.
[00:13:03] A hun, a thousand miles written down has different meanings to you than a thousand pounds or a thousand dollars. And why is that? Because you are making it mean something. So if we can really kind of create that neutrality around that and that comes, you can create the neutrality from actually understanding what you're making it mean.
[00:13:25] So I used to, you know, every time my bank account would fall under a certain. Of pounds or dollars, it would've been dollars back then and got, I very got used to saying pounds again, thank God, , but when my bank account was, was below a certain amount of dollars, I was making that mean something about the business owner that I was, or I was making that mean something about the person that I was.
[00:13:48] And that's bullshit. How can we let a, a series of numbers affect how we feel about ourselves? No, no, no, no. So really be aware of what you're making it mean. What does a hundred pounds or dollars look like to you, and how does that mean? What does that mean to you? What does a million, you know, really having a look at the numbers, be aware of what you're making it mean and how that's tying into your money story.
[00:14:12] Okay. Now we really need to shift into the identity of the new story and we need to act upon it. So one of my clients, um, a couple of months ago, she was stuck on a certain amount of reoccurring revenue, and she was making it mean that she was stuck and stagnant in her business. Now, what we actually found out is that she wasn't, she was just going through a process of change, a process of, of evolution.
[00:14:38] She actually wasn't aligned with where she was going, and we shifted that and lo and behold, 6K revenue came in reoccurring for the, the kind of the four months coming up to what we were working towards. Now she shifted the identity to a new story, and not only did she do that, she acted upon it. So one of the things that she was not doing was holding and keeping track of her finances.
[00:15:03] She was making enough money to, you know, have the lifestyle that she wanted. So she was spending and she was going out. She was having a great time, but actually on reflection, when she actually had the courage and the confidence to sit down and have a look at her bank account, she was like, fucking halbeck.
[00:15:18] Like I am spending like ridiculous amounts of money in places that I don't really need to be spending it now. This is actually an abundance mindset. Having a look at your money and seeing where you actually didn't need to spend. And a lot of people think, well, you've got lots of money. You know, you can spend whatever you want.
[00:15:36] No, like I look after my money. I want that. I want that feeling of being in control. And yes, I could splash out, but. I want that there in my bank account and that's okay. So I think kind of detaching from the fact that, you know, if you've got more money, you have to spend more, you know, whatever that is, whatever your beliefs around that is.
[00:15:56] And that's exactly what my client did. She actually had a look. Now I used to do this on an Excel spreadsheet. and I used to download every single week. I had a Friday money date. If you haven't got a money date in, get one in, but I used to have a Friday money date where I would open my bank account. I would actually go through.
[00:16:13] It was, it was quite time consuming, but it was really enjoyable. Not to start with, it was not enjoyable, but it was. It was really good to see and write down where I had been, what I was spending my money. and what was going on in the week. Now, a lot of the times people say, you can tell your values from the
[00:16:33] You can tell your values from what you spend in your bank account. So if your value is you wanna, you know, if one of your higher self habits is to be really, really healthy and look after yourself, but your bank account is showing that you've been to McDonald's four times this week. We've got a slight misalignment there.
[00:16:50] So what it actually started to do is to show me not only where I was spending my money, but who. Being as I was spending my money too. So I would have all of the, the places that I've been in, Uh, column. And I would have, and I, and actually split it up as to where I was spending it. So it, was it investments, was it in courses?
[00:17:10] Was it um, on my health, like the gym? Was it at a coffee shop? You know, food, um, was it going out? Was it having fun? So I spread across the categories, across the Excel spreadsheet, and then I would put the numbers in. Now at the end, See how much I was spending in each category. So again, going back to the wheel of life and seeing where your values are lying to the money that you're making.
[00:17:32] But also what I used to do is I used to go back and highlight where I could have not spent that money. . So say for instance, I'd had two coffees that day. Definitely more so likely to have two coffees in Australia. Cause I still to this day do not like the coffees in England. But you know, if I'd had two coffees in that day, I would highlight one of them and be like, I didn't really need that.
[00:17:57] You know, I'd already had one coffee. So that would've been, I think it was $5 60 in Australia that I used to spend on coffee a day. That I could have saved or I could have still had and held in my bank account. So it was a really nice action upon the new story that I was stepping into of being in control of my money because a lot of the time, this goes back to last week's episode, you feel out of control in your business or that lack of safety, but actually you are not doing things that act upon the safety that you want to bring in and how you want to be with your money.
[00:18:31] Really have a look once you've got your money story of as where it was, you know, what was the feelings around money when you were growing up, what was saving, you know, what were the saving conversations? What were the spending conversations? What were the feelings around giving money away? All of those prompts that we went through, and I'll pop the prompts into the show notes as well.
[00:18:50] Um, , but really identifying and becoming aware of that behavior. Be aware of what you're making the money mean, and then actually then start to shift into the new identity. Now this is really important, like I said, because if you are living in your current money reality, not being able to see that you are gonna get money from other places or when that next money's gonna come in, and that's how entrepreneurship is guys.
[00:19:15] But, If you are living in that current reality, you will always, always get that current reality That's next week's podcast. So tune in next week if you, if that hit you hard. So, you know, if you, if you constantly find yourself in the same money issues or the same money worries, or the same money struggles, that's because you're not allowing yourself to be beyond your current reality.
[00:19:39] So when you shift into the new identity that looks more of the feelings, what's the feelings around the safety and the con, you know, all of the things that we did in last week's episode, what are the feelings around having security with money or in security with your business and actually tapping into those feelings now today and act upon it?
[00:20:00] It doesn't happen by sitting on your ass. We all know this. You've got to act upon it. You know, what is it? Do you need to go and write down the things that you owe and break it down of how much you can put away per month? Do you want to go and have a look at what you spent the most money on last? Last month and then go, right.
[00:20:17] Every time I go to spend money on that, I'm actually gonna put it in a savings account instead. Do you need to go and learn about how to save? Do you need to go and learn about what to invest in? Do you need to learn about your taxes? There's a lot of things that put us off when it comes to money and money mindset, and what we're actually doing is not only are we putting it off and not doing it, so getting in more.
[00:20:40] Tr traumatic times and more rigmaroles as we go along. But we're also saying to the universe, oh actually I'm not ready. Nah, I don't wanna look at that. That feels scary. Well, of course you're not gonna get any more money because it's scary to the money that you've got now. So why would you have more money come in?
[00:20:56] So really start having a look at that new story. Spend some time doing that Spider di diagram. , my new identity, my new money identity is put those little, um, arrows off. You know, who is she? How does she show up? How does she feel around money? When does she check her bank account? Does she put money away for savings?
[00:21:15] What does that look like? What is she spending her money on? And then act upon that nice and slowly pick one thing, fricking do it, actually do it and, and commit to it. And start moving into that. That's exactly what I've. So many of my clients, we go through a lot of money work together, especially because we're moving into that next level, the next level of reoccurring revenue, the next level of of revenue coming in, the next level of wealth.
[00:21:42] We've got to make sure that your subconscious believes and knows that you can hold it. So feel like I've been on my soapbox today, guys, if this has resonated with you. Go and do the thing. Don't just listen to this. Do not just listen to this podcast and then never go anywhere and never do any anything with it.
[00:22:03] Go and actually do the thing. So have a look at your money story. Have a look at what you're making the money mean. Have some time mapping out your new identity and where you want that to go. And then start taking the action. And like I said, if you want to hold, if you want someone to hold you in that accountability of stepping into that next level of wealth.
[00:22:23] Come on over to my dms and let's jump on a call or have a chat in the dms of what it looks like to work together, one-to-one. I hope you have a lovely day, and, um, c your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast. So if you have enjoyed the episode today, please make sure that you are sharing.
[00:22:43] Or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear rolls. Now, if we are not connected on Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore. Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!