Being Afraid of What Will Become of My Life With Big Success and Money [ep. #115]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self & I!
Don’t you just love when you wake up in the morning, full of energy and with good vibes? You start the day with your morning routine, maybe you journal, look at your vision board, listen to a self-hypnosis track, or visualize. As you close your eyes, you call in all the success, wealth, and money you desire. You can see that juicy life coming to fruition, ideal clients coming TO YOU, hitting that next 3K, 5K, 10K, 20K, traveling around the world, and creating experiences you dreamed about! Yes, it’s happening, gorgeous!
But suddenly…ouch…punch to the gut. “What about my partner? He/she doesn’t have a flexible job. Will we break up? Will my family act differently around me? Will my friends expect me to pay for stuff?”
Sounds familiar? That’s your limiting beliefs bringing you down, making your brain panic, and subconsciously sabotaging you. Being afraid of what will become of your life as you step into the next level of your big success and money is a real thing. But no need to panic! Because I dive into how to get over the fear of big success and money in today's podcast episode. Let's tune in!
Topics covered on Big Success and Money:
A fear that comes up for many of my clients as they are stepping into the next level of success.
Where does this fear come from?
How can you step into big success and money without being scared of things changing around you?
How did my life change as I entered the next level of success?
3 most important things I learned from my success.
What will happen to people around you as you go through your transformation?
The comments that I received from people about the money and success I brought in my business.
What to do when you get triggered by someone’s else success?
How to assure your subconscious mind that you will handle big success and money?
Why playing the worst-case scenario in your head actually helps your subconscious mind?
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Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related episodes you may enjoy:
Quote:
“The number one thing I learned is that your own evolution can trigger those around you.” - Rebecca Haydon
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Highest Self & I your go-to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one-way ticket towards the mind-blowing results you desire in your life and your business. I'm your host, Rebecca Haydon, mindset and Business Mentor. Ready. You unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass, CEO, who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing. Let's go baby. Hello, gorgeous lady. Welcome back to Higher Self & I, I hope you're well. It is a beautiful, beautiful, sunny day today. I have ticked off a lot of things.
[00:01:00] I've been food shopping. I've been to the post office just to share life admin day. It's feeling good, you know, one of those days. But anyway, welcome back to Hi, yourself and I, I hope you are fantastic. Today I am talking through getting through, being afraid of what your life becomes with big success and big financial return.
[00:01:26] The reason why I wanted to speak upon this topic today is because the fear of success, the fear of big wealth, the fear of that next level comes up a lot for my, for my clients, and it came up a lot for me to be honest. When I started doing the work, when I started to really step into the person that I wanted to become, when I started to really step into what that life could look like.
[00:01:50] Is looking like, is feeling like, and I know a lot of people get worried that maybe friends won't come along. Maybe your partner or your husband or your wife or you know, there there's a lot of, um, forward facing worries that you think about subconsciously or consciously when you're stepping into this next level.
[00:02:18] And the upper limit is a thing. We know that it's, you know, gay Hendrix talks about it in the Big Leap. If you haven't read that book, I would definitely recommend, but a lot of it comes from that idealistic image we have or that that kind of. way we think about stepping into that next level and. you. When you close your eyes, you can, you can see that juicy life, right?
[00:02:45] You can see that life coming to, um, to fruition. You can see the abundance of money flowing into your account. If you allow yourself , you can see the way that you hold. Space for your incredible clients. You can see the experiences that you're having, maybe the travels that you're going on, the cocktails that you're drinking, the wine that's being poured.
[00:03:08] You can see all of this in your visualization. You can see all this when you close your eyes, maybe when you're on Pinterest doing your vision board, or you know, creating your vision board on Canva, wherever that is. And all of a sudden, boom, a sucker punch to the gut. You are brought down back to reality because the subconscious mind, the, the limiting beliefs that you have ingrained and patterned into the subconscious mind starts to panic or starts to feel unsafe or starts to feel, oh my God, What will happen to everyone around me?
[00:03:48] What will, what will my life become? If this was to happen, what will my friends say? Will I lose my partner? Will my life change drastically? Will people want more from me? Will people think differently of me? Hands up if you've had these thoughts. And actually what happens is we pull ourself back from creating the success due to these questions.
[00:04:12] And they are all questions, right? They're questions of the future that we know nothing about, and it's really educating your subconscious on how you would handle those, what that would look like. And quite frankly, I am one to really speak on this because. I did do a fuck ton of inner work. Um, I still do now and I have done since started my business and it actually did mean that I outgrew my partner and if I started my business and started my inner journey, knowing that, I dunno, would I have stopped.
[00:04:48] because actually you never know what's gonna happen around the corner, right? And if we live our life just constantly worrying about things that we have one no control over, but two, do we ever really know what's gonna happen in life anyway? , we don't get anywhere and. , the program beliefs that you've, that have supported you in the past are, all they're trying to do is keep you safe now, which is fine, which means you know, we can change those.
[00:05:13] Our brain is neuroplastic. You've heard me say it plenty of times, but how can we really step into the big success, the big wealth, the big life, and actually not be scared of things around us changing? Because we can only change ourself. We cannot change those around us. We have no control of changing those around us.
[00:05:37] We have no control of what other people think and feel about us, and actually the only person that we have control over is ourself. Our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, our behaviors. And yes, granted, a lot of the time when you are changing and you are being the embodiment of the change, people around you do pick up on that and they want to come with you.
[00:06:00] But sometimes people don't, people are not ready or they don't wanna do the work, and that is okay. So I wanted to actually do a podcast episode on what I learned when I started doing the work, when I started to step into success, when I started to step into. You know, bigger money, months, more wealth, more adventures, more experiences, and how that felt for me, what happened from like a, a logistical point of view.
[00:06:27] And I know for those you know, who have been listening to the podcast for, you know, the fans on the podcast, you will know what's happened and what I've been through. If you don't back to episode a hundred , I feel like I send people there every, every single, um, podcast, but it really does. Mean that you are going to be okay.
[00:06:47] What's the worst that could happen? Play the fear till the end. And really, you, you deal with it. You deal with it, right? So let's try and get through this belief of, you know, you'll lose things or people won't like you anymore, or we'll get comments, or whatever it is around that big fear of success. The big fear of big wealth.
[00:07:08] Um, because it does bring things in. now, the very first thing that I learned along this journey of really stepping into that, and let me put it out there, I am nowhere near where I wanna be when it comes to success and financial and life. I just wanna put it out there. . You know, I'm, I, I would say I'm 10% on the way to, to actually what that life of that dream life of mine looks like.
[00:07:34] But actually that 10% was a huge fucking thing for me. You know, like that was a. Big step, and I'm not disregarding that, but I just wanna say, you know, like I am still doing this work myself. I still get nervous around potentially one day going viral and some of the comments that people will say, it goes back to a lot of childhood wounds that I have around my weight, around my body image, and I'm working through that.
[00:07:59] So, you know, like it's, this happens in every single stage. I just wanted to tell you now, but number. What I learned is your own evolution can trigger those around you. and it will trigger those around you. Maybe it's the amount of money that you will, you will learn that would trigger someone. Maybe it's the way you go on to live your life that might trigger them.
[00:08:24] Maybe it is. Um, when you start to put up boundaries, if you've been that, you know, long-term people pleaser, hands up. You're in the same camp as me, and you start putting these boundaries up that will trigger people. There's going to be a lot of things that are gonna trigger those around you, and it is not yours to solve.
[00:08:46] Let me say that again. It is not yours to solve. It's. equally not yours to hold energy and space for either, because actually what you are showing or what they're being triggered by is something that they need to look at within themselves. And if they're ready for that, then incredible. You could potentially, you know, guide them to the right person or guide them and show them what you did.
[00:09:14] If that felt, if that felt good for you, but it is not yours to solve. That is on them. It is their map of the world. It is how they are seeing things. And actually what you are doing is you are mirroring, you're reflecting something that they need to dive into themselves. . And like I said, they might be ready to do it.
[00:09:37] They might not be, and that's okay. And just know that that's gonna happen. You know, there's been a ample amount of times that you've been triggered by other people that you've then gone, wow, I really need to do some work on this. You know, it happens to me. I get triggered and I, first of all question, okay, where's that coming from?
[00:09:57] Like, what do I need to look inside for? What is that trigger telling me? What is that trigger trying to protect me from? And actually that is, it is not on you to do that work for them. So if it is a best friend, if it is a loved one, if it is a family member, Yes, they might get triggered. You know what?
[00:10:19] They might even say something . You know, I've had people that are like, well, what are you gonna do with all of that money? I had someone say, um, oh, well you can buy that now because you're making X amount of months, aren't you? I had someone say, oh, is she paying for that because this is how much she made last month.
[00:10:37] She put it on social media. I've had all these comments and it has fuck all to do with me. It really has nothing to do. With you. It comes back to the comparison and what I speak about around comparison. It has more to do with them than it has to do with you. So when you are breaking into and breaking those boundaries and stepping into big success and big wealth and big magic, and playing fucking huge, which I know you are here for, you wouldn't be in my audience if you.
[00:11:09] You are going to trigger people around you and you need to be okay with that. And you need to hold that space for them. Yes, of course you are not gonna turn into this, you know, bitch, woman, I know that. But equally it's theirs to solve. It's theirs to work through. And if that's a conversation with you, then fine.
[00:11:26] If that's a conversation with them where you say like, Hey, like I feel. that this is happening right now. Never assume, by the way, if they've said something . Um, you know, is that a trigger for you? And, and if so, would you like a little bit of help with that? If that feels, feels good. . There's lots of ways around it.
[00:11:47] So the first thing I learned was your evolution can trigger those around you. The amount of money that you'll earn, the way you go living your life, but it is not yours to solve. It is not yours to solve. Number two. , you have to, when you are stepping into big success, huge wealth, more money in the bank account than you've ever dreamt of, you need to create space to allow your subconscious mind to see how you will handle it.
[00:12:19] So if all of the above, like everything that we've spoke about on the podcast so far was to happen. . You have to create space to know how you can handle it. I've spoke about this time and time again, but especially when you're looking with that big success, big wealth, huge wealth. If your friends were to turn on you, how would you handle it?
[00:12:43] If you were to lose your partner, how would you handle it? If your life was to tra change drastically overnight, how would you handle it? And creating that space to really like, Sit in those thoughts like being like, oh, okay, well if everything was to go wrong when I got big wealth and big success, how would I handle it?
[00:13:03] No. Like I'm not saying that, but if that thought is going there, then you go, okay, well if subconscious call, okay, if I was to lose my partner, how would I handle it? And really, when you play the fear till the end is something that I say to my clients all the. Okay, go there. If your subconscious is picking up a fight with you, , if you've got that constant worry, if that, that thought is playing over and over again.
[00:13:28] have a little look into it. Okay, cool. So if I get big success and huge wealth and my partner leaves me, how would I handle it? How would I handle it? And actually, you know, ironically was not something that I thought would happen for me. Um, however, I did always know that I was. Bigger. I was a, I was a bigger person, bigger personality, bigger dreamer, uh, a high achiever.
[00:13:58] I was very, very different to my ex. And I deep down knew, and I think I said this in the podcast, like I deep down knew that I would and could feel myself outgrowing the relationship, outgrowing what I thought our life was going to be, and I handled it guys. I fucking handled it. It was okay. I didn't die.
[00:14:20] Nothing really bad happened. Everything that came my way, I sat with and felt and yes, it was fucking awful. Four months I felt horrendous. I went to therapy. I did the things. I handled it then it's okay. You know? It was, it was, it was hard. It was hard. Did I get through it? Of course I did. You can sit in this, you know, you can sit looking at your vision board and go, oh my God.
[00:14:51] Like if I was to have that, would I still have the friends? Like, would people want to raid my bank account all the time? Would people want more of me? Would people wanna borrow money all the time? Well, okay. Play the fear till the end. How would you handle it if that was to happen? You'd say, thank you, no , you know, whatever you're gonna say.
[00:15:11] How would you handle it? Really, really thinking and playing into that helps a subconscious mind go, wow, okay, well if that was to happen anyway, we'd be okay. We're always okay. Right. And usually the one thing that we're always worried about never comes to fruition anyway. So we spend our time worrying about fucking things that never happen anyway.
[00:15:31] So there you go, . And number three, the way you lead. The way you get to impact the way you get to lead your life, the way you get to thrive is so much bigger than what people fucking think of you . It is so much bigger than things that you think might happen. because when you truly step into that energetic vibration of the way that you are supposed to be, who you are supposed to be, who you are supposed to be impacting what the business should be for you, and you finally get out of your own way, because the, the fear of the, like, you know, the, the fear of the success and the, you know, how I got through being afraid of what will become of my life with big success and big money and big wealth and et cetera, et cetera.
[00:16:27] That fear is minute compared to what it, what it feels like when you're there. You know the way, like I said, the way that you get to lead, the way that you get to impact the way that you get to live your life, the way you get to thrive, just ugh. It is so much bigger than those thoughts and those thoughts right now.
[00:16:49] are stopping you from, from experiencing it, are stopping you from feeling into it. And I don't want that for you because ultimately you get to decide. You get to set the boundaries and you get to move into that reality that is on you. It's not actually about the externals around you, it's about what you are or are not allowing yourself to be and do.
[00:17:15] And. Let me say that again, . It is not actually about the externals around. It's about what you are slash aren't allowing yourself to be, do and have. And I do not want you to use your partner or your family, or your friends or the judgment or how your life will change, or how much money people will ask from you as a fucking excuse to hold yourself back from that big life that you're moving towards.
[00:17:47] I do not want you to use that. Because you will handle it. If it was to happen, you would handle it. Right. You know you would. So why are we holding onto that fear when we we're, we're gonna be fine anyway. Huh? Yes. Yes. Do I hear a hell? Yes. So to go through number one, your own evolution can trigger those around you.
[00:18:13] And it is not you. It's not on you to solve. Number two, create space to allow your subconscious mind to see how you will handle it. If you wanna play the field till the end, you know, if you wanna go, okay, if that was to happen, how would I handle it? It shuts down the thought it. Down the limiting belief so much quicker than constantly playing into it.
[00:18:34] Remember, repetition, repetition, repetition. The brain learns best with repetition, and the more you repeat the thought, the more you repeat the feeling, the stronger the neural pathway gets. Which ones do you want to grow? Do you wanna grow the fear ones or do you wanna grow the growth ones? I know number three, the way you get to lead, the way you get to impact the way you get to live.
[00:18:54] The way you get to thrive is so much bigger than these fears. It is so much bigger than the limiting beliefs, and you are in control of that. You get to decide, you get to set the boundaries, and you get to move into the reality. So what are you choosing, baby? What are you choosing? I'll see you on the next episode.
[00:19:13] Your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast. So if you have enjoyed the episode today, please make sure that you are sharing or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear rolls. Now, if we are. On Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore.
[00:19:36] Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!