4 Subconscious Signs That You’re Meant to be Massive but You’re Holding Yourself Back [ep. #164]
Hello lovely lady and welcome to Higher Self & I!
Are you self-sabotaging your business without even realizing it? I know that you are great at what you do. You have signed consistent clients, experienced high cash months in your business, and have a strategy for your business, but lately, you've been feeling like something is blocking your path to success, and you are probably right. But it might not be what you think it is.
If you're a female entrepreneur dreaming of a six or seven-figure empire, this episode is going to be your wake-up call! Today, I'll reveal the four hidden ways that you might be holding yourself back without knowing it. We'll dive deep into the 4 subconscious signs that you’re meant to be massive but you’re holding yourself back.
So are you ready to stop self-sabotaging your business, uncover those sneaky blocks, and smash right through them? Tune in, and let's finally take your business to new heights so you can be the powerhouse CEO you are meant to be!
Topics covered on 4 Subconscious Signs That You’re Meant to be Massive but You’re Holding Yourself Back:
Are you unknowingly self-sabotaging your business?
What are the biggest subconscious behaviors that could be sabotaging your success?
How does the need to perfect your strategy actually hold you back from growing your business?
Are you really "too busy," or are you self-sabotaging your business growth?
Do you have to work 24/7 to run a multi-six-figure business?
Why is looking for answers outside yourself limiting your potential?
What steps can you take to start building trust in yourself and your abilities?
Connect with Bec:
Quote:
"Your subconscious doesn't care about your happiness or the amount of money in your bank account, it cares about keeping you safe." - Rebecca Haydon
Transcription: Our AI tried its best, but expect a few quirky typos in the transcript. Embrace the imperfections and enjoy the read!
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Higher Self I, your go to podcast that will release you of your victim mindset and become your one way ticket towards the mind blowing results you desire in your life and your business. I'm your host, Rebecca Haydon, mindset and business mentor, ready to help you unlock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be.
[00:00:37] A badass CEO who is here to claim her fricking millionaire life. Ready to find out what life could be like if you just did the thing? Let's go baby. Hello, beautiful lady and welcome back to Higher Self and I, I am very glad to be in your ears today because today I am bringing up a couple of things that could potentially.
[00:01:03] Beholding You Back. And we're really looking from a subconscious point of view for the behaviors and the actions that are currently happening inside your business. I have so many female entrepreneurs come to me who Want to and know that they will make multi six figure, seven figure businesses. And you know that in your soul, you know that you're capable of it, you know that you're frickin epic at what you do, you're extraordinary in how you coach, or you deliver, or how you have an impact on your clients.
[00:01:41] But there is something holding you back right now, and I think the The main thing that I always see here is that they know it's them. You know it is you that are hol that is holding you back. And actually, that's the first step, right? The first step in actually knowing that it's you holding you back, because it shows up in so many different ways.
[00:02:07] It can't it doesn't just show up and it's like, oh, hello, it's you. It's us right now. We are the problem. We are holding ourself back. No, it's sometimes not that simple. Sometimes it shows up in the most simplest or, um, subconsciously secret way, where we've been doing a thing, or procrastinating, or believing and leaning into a belief so far, where we've Or so much that we actually start to believe that's true.
[00:02:38] We actually start to believe that we can't do it. That it won't happen for us. That all of those beliefs come up, and I think it shows and shines its place in, in, in places in your business where we really have to look into. And today, what I wanted to go through is four clear subconscious signs that you are [00:03:00] meant to be massive, but you are holding yourself back.
[00:03:03] Now, there's a lot of signs, okay? There's signs all over the place, especially subconscious ones. That's why people hire me. However, these are the four common ones that I see across the board, and this is from working with so many female entrepreneurs who are currently capped by their own Mindset, who are currently capped and have done very well in their business.
[00:03:27] They've built a business. They've been signing clients. They're ready for that next level and they know that they are capping themselves. And these are four subconscious signs that I see show up time and time again. We're gonna have a look into each of them. You might resonate with one. You might resonate with all.
[00:03:46] But actually, from me just going into each of these, and allowing you to have a little deep dive into your own subconscious, I'm hoping that we can start to see which one it is for you, or which one for you is holding you back. You know, it might not be the four that I speak about today, it might be linked to one of the four that I speak about today, and how that's having an effect on you.
[00:04:11] On You and Your Business Growth and Taking Yourself to the Next Level. So, right now, there are a lot of surface level things going on inside your business. Um, and I think a lot of the, a lot of the time it comes down to you being scared to fully step into what that next level looks like. I've spoke about this a lot on podcasts of almost, I had this fear that if I fully stepped into my Higher Self, in all of the categories that I see myself in my Higher Self, you know, if I stepped in for my finances, for the relationships that I have, for my home, for my business, for my all of the Wheel of Life topics that we talk about, if I stepped into every one of those and had it all in every one of those, I used to have a belief that I would be too powerful for my own good.
[00:05:06] And it scared me. It really, really scared me to think that if I went there, if I fully believed, if I fully committed, if I said what I was going to do and I did it, if I followed through, if I played bigger, if I reached more people, it actually felt so scary for me for the way of success. So it wasn't the fact that I was fearing the, um, fearing it not happen, that was a belief that I worked on, you know, when I first started the business and I was very, very in that belief when I first started the business.
[00:05:43] Why is it happening for everyone else? When's it gonna happen for me? Will it ever happen for me? I was very in that, in that belief. When things started happening and the ball started rolling in my business and the snowball effect started happening, I did start to fall into the fear of success. [00:06:00] And I would allow myself to taste it a little bit, or I would allow myself to go there a little bit, and I would dip my toe, I would open the door, and I would retract straight away.
[00:06:12] It has happened. I could probably count four times that I have allowed myself to play bigger and allowed myself to go there over the last couple of years, and boom, the retraction happens. Because it terrified the shit out of me. For actually going there, for actually being in that success, for actually having that life, for actually having that impact, for actually being the woman that I was here to be in my life.
[00:06:44] And I really had to train my subconscious on how safe it is, still do to this day, to reach that next level. I think a lot of the time in the self development world, especially in the industry that we're in, a lot of people look at the, the fear of, you know, failing, the fear of, the fear of it not happening, but we don't have a lot of focus on the fear of success and the fear of like, what if I actually did all of that?
[00:07:13] How am I going to handle it? What will happen to people around me? Um, You know, what, what will, what will people think of me? There's so many things that come up of actually when you play into the success that you want. You know, will I burn out? Will I lose people? What if it's too much responsibility?
[00:07:33] That's a huge one that comes up with my clients. The responsibility, the capacity, the holding them more, having them more. Clients, success, wealth, eyes on you. You know, will I? Will I be able to handle it? And that deep fear within your subconscious right now is holding you back and keeping you in that comfort zone because that's what you know.
[00:07:57] You've done that a thousand times. You can repeat exactly what you've done in your business and you can stay on this really okay. place. You know, if I carried on being where I was right now, I would have a lovely life, but I don't want that. I want an extraordinary life. So therefore I have to look at, okay, where am I in my comfort zone?
[00:08:20] Where is that looking like for me? What does it look like for me when I'm constantly playing from my comfort zone and stretching myself every time? So let's have a dive into the, the deep fear that's rooted with that. Linking to your success because, like I said, it's showing up from a very surface level right now.
[00:08:41] You know, maybe it's the, oh the success I desire isn't meant for people like me, or I'm, I'm behind where I should be, or what if it doesn't work out for me? These are all like the surface level beliefs that are coming up. But what's actually happening is that deep fear linked to the success that you will get, [00:09:00] If you actually allowed yourself to go there.
[00:09:04] Whoo, if you actually allowed yourself to see just how successful you could be, and actually played into that. And I know that you are going to make multi six figures, I know that you're going to go on and be a seven figure coach if that's what you want to be, or business owner, and you know in your soul that you're meant to be massive.
[00:09:23] You know, I constantly said, And have said along the lines, like, I always wanted to be famous when I was younger, and that's still a part of me. Maybe fame doesn't look the same way that it did when I was younger. I would love to be a household name, I would love to be known, you know, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, but actually, I have to do a lot of work in allowing myself to go there and be there and reverse engineer what that's gonna look like for me, and make sure I'm showing up and doing the work to get myself to there.
[00:09:53] So Let's dive in to the four telltale signs behind the subconscious beliefs that you, yes you, are currently playing into. The first one I see so very often is, I need to perfect my strategy. And I think when we get to a point in our business, yes, there are minor tweaks that we have to do in order to scale.
[00:10:23] Sometimes major tweaks in order for us to scale. However, the strategy alone, and constantly, constantly focusing on the strategy, is actually keeping you in the safety. And what I see here with a lot of my clients before they start with me, is this constant learning. They're in this constant, I need to learn more, so I need to know more.
[00:10:50] I need to buy more. I need to be part of 700 memberships more. I need to listen to this podcast again. I need to read this book more. It's very much about this overlearning because you don't feel or trust yourself that you know what that looks like. And I think a lot of the time with this, what happens is, with the overlearning, becomes complication.
[00:11:17] And we know that simple scales. And actually, when you're stuck in this belief of, I need to perfect my strategy, what you're doing is you're taking yourself into complication. You're taking yourself into overwhelm. You're taking yourself into overthinking, which of course, when we play into that, that is going to revert back to doing what you've always done, because it's the path of least resistance.
[00:11:42] It's the easiest habit for your subconscious to come back to. So you're, you're going there, you're learning these things, there's absolutely zero implementation. 9 times out of 10 because of procrastination, because if you did implement that, then you would be successful, and lo and behold, there we are.
[00:11:59] The success is [00:12:00] here, and we're trying to, your subconscious, is trying to keep you safe from success right now. Your subconscious doesn't care about your happiness, your subconscious doesn't care about success. The amount of money in your bank account. Your subconscious doesn't care about whether you sign consistent clients or not, it cares about keeping you safe.
[00:12:19] So actually, if the next level that you're working towards, or you're working into, doesn't feel safe right now, it is going to do everything to stop you from going there. Everything from stopping you from going there. It will magically forget that someone DM'd you, it will magically make you wait four days to reply to the last DM of the sale that you got that you haven't closed yet.
[00:12:44] It does a lot of things that you aren't aware of to subconsciously keep you safe. So actually, you perfecting the strategy that you've got right now, Is a ploy from your subconscious to keep you safe, because what you're doing by perfecting the strategy is you're actually not doing the strategy at all.
[00:13:03] You're not honing in and, and really looking at your strategy and implementing it. You're spending so much time perfecting it that you're not even implementing it. And whether that's another content course, whether that's scrolling through Instagram to get more inspiration, whether it's, whatever you're doing to perfect the strategy right now is actually taking you away from implementation.
[00:13:30] And you will be implementing the things that are very easy to you. Maybe showing up on stories is very easy to you. So, you can do that. You can do that without thinking. You're very subconsciously competent at doing the things that you've done for a while that's created the success in your business so far.
[00:13:45] But because we're going to that next level, Because we're having to tweak little bits of the strategy, because we're having to shift little bits of the strategy, you, you then get stuck in that, and we don't move. We don't move at all. In fact, sometimes I've seen that you completely stop doing the strategy altogether, and kind of go offline, have a little, have a little hiatus, and, and be like, well, I don't know what I'm doing, so I might not, I might as well not do anything.
[00:14:14] And we're constantly in this pattern. So if this is resonating with you right now, I just want you to have a look at the implementation behind it. So, this isn't me saying that we can't look at your strategy and tweak it, you know. That's a big part of the work that I do within my one to one container.
[00:14:33] They come with me, they come to me with a strategy that they've used and has been Successful for them so far, but actually they know that that strategy is not going to take them to the next level, and we do do some tweaks, you know, whether that's around their messaging and positioning, whether it's around their CEO operations and how they're running the business, a lot of the time it's around their product suite and where we bring people in on the customer journey, we do all of that, but [00:15:00] that's, that's kind of how we do it.
[00:15:01] Amplifying the strategy that they already have, and still implementing, still implementing, rather than being in this constant cycle of learning, this constant cycle of needing to know more, this constant cycle of, I don't know enough yet, and actually that's not always the case. Nine times out of ten it's not always the case.
[00:15:23] A lot of my clients know exactly what they need to do to get to the next level, they're just not doing it. And that is because, number one, they're needing to perfect the strategy. It has to be perfect, it has to be right, it has to be spot on for me to move forwards. So that is one that I see come up time and time again.
[00:15:45] Number two. I'm too busy to grow. A lot of the time when clients come to me, They have actually grown their business, and I was here, can resonate with this one a lot, um, they, they have actually grown their business to an incredible space where they actually feel very busy. They're doing a lot of client work, for example, um, they're, they're very much involved in the clients, with the clients, in with the clients, and, you know, I was definitely here so much so that I couldn't see the wood through the trees.
[00:16:18] And, you The too busy to grow comes in because, oh well if I'm too busy to grow then I get to keep safe. So I'll just keep making myself busier because when I do that I actually then don't concentrate on growing the business. Oh subconscious how we love you so. It's very, very clever. It's going to do anything, like I said, to keep you safe.
[00:16:45] And if that means keeping you busy, even though that is literally consciously not what you want, it will carry on doing that. It will do that so swiftly, and so smoothly, and so perfectly, that you don't even see. You don't even realize, until you're that in the thick of it, and you start to see the busyness.
[00:17:10] And there's two camps here, that I'm too busy to grow, and you actually are very busy, because you're constantly piling more things in, you're constantly taking more people on, maybe you don't have a real understanding of how you want to run the business, so you keep saying yes to every single client, even though, You know that you can only hold space for a certain amount.
[00:17:31] I see that a lot. Um, you know, we get, we get excited by the next client coming in, and the, the next client coming in, that actually you start to then stop looking at how many clients you can hold, or what that looks like for you. So there's, like, that camp, and then there's the other camp. They're, they're too busy to grow.
[00:17:50] Actually, when we look at it, you're not busy at all. You're busy doing things that are taking you nowhere. You're busy doing things that [00:18:00] take you in that same comfort zone circle. You're busy being busy of the busy badge of honor, but actually the busyness, the things that you're doing, have absolutely nothing to do with you moving forwards.
[00:18:13] So actually, again, it's another ploy from the subconscious mind, and I don't want you to get annoyed at the subconscious mind here, by the way. It's doing it to keep you safe, and that's okay. We can support that, we can love that, we can speak to that, which is what I do with my one to ones. You know, we speak to the parts that are keeping us safe.
[00:18:30] But, actually, When I question my clients on the busyness, when I question them on, okay, let's do a time audit of what you're doing this week, they start to see how not busy they are. They're just playing into the busy story, because the subconscious knows that the more we play into the busy story, The less she'll work on growing the business, the less that means she'll be successful, the less money she'll make, it's all a ploy to keep your focus somewhere else, keep your focus in the safety.
[00:19:05] If you've grown a business where you constantly feel busy, Being busy in your business feels safe right now. And a lot of my clients can't comprehend when they come to work with me that we actually work less because we're working smarter, not harder. We're working smarter in the business, so therefore we can have more time.
[00:19:30] We're working more strategically in the business, so you can have more time. And actually the switch into that, that reframe that I Often see with my clients, you know, one of my clients the other day was like, Bec, I literally went for a facial on a Friday afternoon, what the hell is going on? She started to see that the busyness that she'd been doing actually was because it was a programmed pattern.
[00:19:55] She'd patterned herself to be busy, and if she wasn't busy, then that means that the business isn't growing. And it was this constant pattern that's going over and over again. Now, now we've had a look at her product suite, the launches that she's doing, we've got really clear on how we speak to her high her idle clients online, people are coming through from the content that she's creating, the attraction marketing, subconscious, positive.
[00:20:19] Marketing method that I use within the business and have done for years. When we put all of those together, she then found not only was she ticking things off her list quickly, because we had the clarity and the strategy behind her, but equally she had way more time and she was getting more done and she was like this.
[00:20:35] Is weird. Like, this feels weird. And she kept wanting to go back into the busyness, but we have to keep reminding the subconscious and repeating the pattern. The subconscious learns best through repetition. So we had to keep repeating the fact that I get to work smarter and reap the benefits of the time that I will now have back.
[00:20:58] And that is so [00:21:00] important. So, yes. We all run businesses and we can be busy, but it's the story that you put behind the busy and actually what the busy is protecting you from. Because nine times out of ten, the subconscious will keep you busy, will keep adding things to your plate, you'll keep seeing things that you haven't done or that you're yet to do or that you need to work on or that we need to add.
[00:21:22] Pair that with perfecting the strategy, then you're more busy because you're having to Can you see what happens? We then go into that That belief again and again and again when actually a lot of the busyness, a lot of the busy tasks are you procrastinating on what you should actually be implementing anyway.
[00:21:42] It all comes down to that implementation. So that's uh, that's the second one. The third one that I see is the energy. I don't have enough energy to run a multi six figure business. And this kind of ties in with the busyness. Now, a lot of my clients come to me and they say, they have a belief where, you know, it's like if I want to grow my business, I have to go into hustle, I'm gonna be tired all the time, I'm gonna be working 24 7.
[00:22:12] Now, you get to choose that. Right? There are some people online who work a lot because they choose to. I, for example, love to have time off. Like, I love to have that time with Jack. I love to have the time with family and friends. I equally love the business and will always work hard. But I think I said this in last week's podcast episode.
[00:22:36] It's the working smarter, not harder, that truly is. And when you are working, of course, you're in, you're working hard in that time, but it's a specific time slot that suits the strategy that we've put in place. And I actually worked less in 2023 than I did for the first 2 3 years of me growing my business.
[00:23:00] I hustled hard at that point. But actually, when you get yourself into a flow of the business, and you understand where you're growing and where you're going to, and you have that strategy behind you, it's the strategy and the operations that hold you in that, and that hold the fact that you don't have to be busy all the time, which then plays into having the energy.
[00:23:24] So, for me, Having the energy to run a multi six figure business almost feels less than the energy that I had to have when I was very first starting my business. It's two very different energies, and that energy comes down to a lot of the belief work that I've done, and a lot of the belief work that I do with my clients, because If I believe that the business is going to carry on being a multi six figure cash revenue business, and then move into the seven figures, which is what I'm working towards at the moment, if I believe that, if I know that, then [00:24:00] that's where my energy comes from, that's where my energy leads to.
[00:24:03] It's this constant doubt, this constant lack of trust, this constant questioning yourself, the process, the strategy, where the clients are, that drains your energy. And you have control over what your energy looks like, and how much energy you insert into the business. There's gonna be peaks and troughs, you know, there's gonna be ups and downs, especially with, you know, your cycle, or how you're feeling.
[00:24:31] January, for instance. So we're gonna have less energy, and I know that's a story that everyone says, and I try not to play into it. But, like, there's gonna be peaks and troughs in your business where you have more energy, have less energy. And it's that's just the way of life. We're humans. But actually, it's the story that you put behind the energy that actually really counts, and I think it's the I don't have enough energy to run a multi six figure business, or I'm scared that I won't be able to handle it.
[00:24:58] That's kind of a bit of a bigger one that comes up. That comes down to you, and you get to decide that. Like, if you don't feel like you have enough energy right now, it's probably because you don't have the systems and the strategy in place. A lot of my clients come to me running their business by the seat of their pants.
[00:25:20] You know how often I say this. They wake up in the morning and they're like, well what am I working on? What am I doing? And then you've spent 10 hours clicking around the tabs trying to find something to work on when actually it was because you got the lack of clarity behind you and then you lose the energy then you've got decision fatigue because you've tried to do all of the decisions in one.
[00:25:41] So. It's how you're showing up to your business to what energy you have. I have a client at the moment who is fully rebranding everything of her business. From head to toe, we are in a rebrand. And she has been Ticking things off like I've never seen it before. Now a rebrand is going to take more energy, of course, because the, the podcast, the website, we've got a lot of, um, she's redoing a lot of the videos.
[00:26:11] She's, there's a lot of things going on, but because we've got the structure behind her, and we're working smarter, not harder, she messaged me last week and said, I have never worked this quickly. I have never ticked off these amount of things in this way and, and, and stuck to it. And that's because we had the strategy and structure behind it.
[00:26:31] That's why I, I really concentrate on both sides of that. When I work with my clients, mindset is as important as strategy, and you know how much I say that. And I want you to implement the strategies you're putting in, and we need to have the mindset for that. But equally, we need to be very smart with what your strategies look like and, and help them work for you.
[00:26:55] So, it's not that you have a fear around, I [00:27:00] don't have enough energy to run a multi six figure business, again, that's a safety. I'll play into that, I'll play into that belief, I'll believe that belief, because if I believe it, then I, then I definitely won't have the energy. If I believe it, then, yeah, I won't be working towards it, because again, feels unsafe.
[00:27:17] You can see where this is always coming back to. And then the last one I see is the looking outside yourself. You constantly cap yourself, you constantly hold yourself back from playing bigger, doing bigger things because you think someone else has the answer. And I was in this camp, I really was, and Looking outside myself, wanting people to do it for me, thinking that everyone else was doing it better than me.
[00:27:45] You know, I've been in that pattern a couple of years ago. I was really in that pattern. And what it came down to was the trust in myself, the trust in me. And I see this so often with the, maybe they have the answer with the shiny object syndrome. You know, you're constantly, you know, you're procrastinating.
[00:28:03] So you're constantly on on Instagram as well. I can tell the clients who are procrastinating day by day to who is watching my stories as quick as I put them up. I'm watching you. But, it, it's, it's that kind of, ooh, they've got something more that I need to know. They've got something more I need to learn.
[00:28:21] Going back to the Other Belief again, that shiny object which is Actually, what that's doing, is it's not allowing you to trust yourself. It's not allowing you to trust your strategy, it's not allowing you to trust that you can do it, it's not allowing you to trust your way of growing the business, of how you want to do things, of how you want to show up.
[00:28:43] And that is so important when we get to this, Uh, this space in your business, that growing to multi six figure, seven figure, a lot of that happens and a lot of that comes from the belief and trust within you. If you look at a lot of the seven figure coaches at the moment, they're not doing anything different to you.
[00:29:04] They've just got so much trust and belief in themselves that they show up like they, they are the motherfucking G, and they believe that, and I love that. You know, that is how, that's the energy that they show up in, and that's the energy that they attract, and that's, you know, that comes down to them. It's not that they know any more, it's not that they're doing any, anything like, out of the ordinary.
[00:29:27] A lot of them are doing exactly the same as any other business coach, mindset coach, whatever other. Entrepreneur that you're looking at, who is creating that, a lot of the time it's coming down to the trust in themselves, the trust that it's going to happen, and the belief that it is meant for them. The belief that it's there for them, and that's how they show up.
[00:29:47] That's how I show up, and I think really getting into the nooks and crannies of that is going to be very important. for YOU stepping into that next level. So around [00:30:00] all of this, you can see those beliefs that are coming up, the actions that are coming up, the behaviours that you're currently doing. That is stopping you from getting to that next level.
[00:30:10] I know that if you're listening to the podcast, that you're already Very, very aware of yourself. That is the type of client that I attract. So actually, now you are more than aware, because I've highlighted a couple of things, just go and do a little bit of an audit this week. You know, what am I doing that is playing into the safety, rather than me implementing the strategy that's actually going to take me there?
[00:30:32] Or me doing the mindset work that's actually going to take me there? How can I create the safety around that next level, and start playing into that? So, I've been a bit of a call out one today, but I'm here for it because I want you to be massive, I want you to move, I know that you're capable, I know you're incredible, and I want you to go into that next level the same as I want me to go into the next level that I'm currently working to, but we have to become very aware of those little, tiny little micro moments, day to day, They're not these big macro things, which is sometimes hard to see, it's harder to see when they're micro.
[00:31:10] It's those micro moments where you slip back into the safety that is stopping you from moving forwards into huge, massive things. I hope you've enjoyed today's podcast episode, and I'll see you on the next one. Love ya! Your love and support means the absolute world to me with this podcast, so if you have enjoyed the episode today, please make sure that you are sharing, liking, and subscribing.
[00:31:32] or reviewing or even rating the podcast because it allows me to get into more ear holes. Now, if we're not connected on Instagram, head over and add me at underscore Rebecca Haydon underscore. Come and say hello. I'd love to see you there, and I will see you on the next episode.
More about Higher Self & I:
Higher Self & I is the podcast for ambitious female entrepreneurs who are ready to achieve and sustain mind-blowing results in their biz. It’s a show that will release you of your victim mindset and give you complete freedom and energy to jump into the self you always knew you could be. Each week, Rebecca Haydon will help you lock your mindset into gear and empower you to step into the person you always knew you were meant to be – a bad-ass CEO who is here to claim her freaking millionaire life!